Magnetic
by traditionofwinning
Summary: In college, Bella wordlessly admired Edward from afar. Years pass, and they meet again under surprising circumstances. He's hiding something dangerous, but Bella's been cautious all her life. She's ready to let loose, embrace the crazy, and see where this connection leads them. AH mobward, canon couples. Bit of fluff, language, violence, bit of humor, plenty of the good stuff.
1. Chapter 1

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPV

I am either dead, or dreaming.

Or I'm just fucking crazy.

I made my way around the stack of display tables, their harsh, glossy white lacquer offensive against the black walnut tile plank flooring- meant to be fashionable but dually pointing out the squeaking of my worn Chucks like a glaring neon sign of faux pas to the haute surrounding me. Despite my unease at the shopping excursion, I couldn't help but run my fingers lovingly along the stacks of cashmere sweaters, expertly avoiding the price tags to keep a neutral expression upon my face. This was our normal tax return routine, Alice and I. It was an experience I dread, but was also grateful for.

Money wasn't tight for me or Alice. She had grown up in a much more affluent subdivision on the outskirts of Forks, Washington, than I, but I still had a generic but comfortable middle-class upbringing full of sunny vacations, overabundance under the Christmas tree, and sad attempts at intramural sports. We met in high school when the city junior highs converged into one awkward set of hormones and hour-long bus rides. Physically, we couldn't be more unevenly paired. I wasn't a loner, but didn't have a true place where I belonged, merely bouncing among both outcasts and those wise enough to find some middle-plane where they could fly under the radar. Alice saw through the bullshit and the drama of our classmates, more focused on her own goals and the simple things that brought her pleasure in life, and expertly thwarted attempts by the 'popular girls' to recruit her to their ranks. One October morning's rants by Jessica, the fucking vilest of the group, in my direction because her 'true love' Mike had the audacity to ask me a question about Calculus, caused Alice's ears to perk genuinely for the first time since the school year began. Unlike most of my peers, I didn't see school as the peak of my life experiences. It seemed like an uneven path that I simply had to stumble through as quickly as possible in order to get to the Real World, and unbeknownst to me, one Alice Whitlock agreed. Queue my quick wit and unabashedly cutting sarcasm in Jessica's direction, undoubtedly my best trait, and a barking laugh resulted from dear Alice. She bumped shoulders roughly while walking past Jessica to reach me, linked her arm through mine, and the rest was both friendship history and a pet project for Alice that was dear to her heart.

It wasn't that I hated fashion. Every woman loves to feel confident in their clothing and with themselves. It's an easy way to hide superficial flaws or highlight our best attributes in an attempt to draw attention away from what is actually going on in our heads. Regardless, my reluctance usually comes from the actual shopping part of the equation. I have a terrible eye for such things, and it's difficult to hear praises or criticisms from anyone, especially your best friend. Alice constantly tells me how beautiful my long chestnut locks are, that my brown eyes look enviously great with any shade of shadow or liner. That nothing flatters me more than a great pair of high rise skinny jeans because I have 'curves for days'. It's the compliments that are the most difficult to swallow when you don't see the same thing in the mirror as others seem to. I know Alice has nothing to gain from showering me with obscure lies about my looks because she is the first to cut me to the quick when I do something stupid or look less than my best. So, I've been working on myself half-heartedly for the better part of a decade, trying to see in me what Alice genuinely does. High school brought minor improvements in Alice 101: coordinating but not matching. Rooming together for four years at Washington State skyrocketed me to the 300-level courses in accessorizing and walking in heels. Then, I apparently peaked at age 22, spectacularly falling from my minor brush with fashion grace with a resounding 'thud' in the dreary reality of the pacific northwest job market.

Now we're 28 years old and still the best of friends, but where she has soared, deservedly so, I have faltered. She has blossomed into one of the most sought-after designers in the country, her AW Designs clothing gracing the pages of every fashion magazine and red carpet. I, however, embarrassed now in my naïve choice of a bachelor's degree in English, partnered in Alice's fashion house as vice president, controlling what she flippantly deemed 'the boring stuff'. We've grown by leaps and bounds due to her creative eye and my investments, but to say it doesn't sting when a press release is as close to my degree as I will ever get would be a lie. As always, it was Alice who brought me out of my shell, and even in my professional life, it's Alice that leads the way.

Alice met her fiancé Jasper Hale three years ago at an outdoor market that we frequented on Saturday mornings, bumping into him at a booth she had wandered into that housed water color paintings depicting American rural family life during times of war because she "just had a feeling that she'd find something there". I knew better than to argue with Alice, who had a keen sense of finding the diamond in the rough, and sure enough she emerged from the blue tarp-lined doorway clutching the hand of Jasper. He molded so perfectly into our life and we continued on as three best friends as if he had always been there as an unseen extension of Alice. When she and Jasper would make a grocery store run, or decide to hit up a new local bar, or spend a lazy rainy afternoon binge-watching Netflix in our condo, they always included me in a natural way that didn't make me feel like the third wheel. I appreciated it, but the moments when they would steal a quick kiss or he would look lovingly across the room at Alice while she made her way to the kitchen for more drinks made my heartache silently grow. I had dated on and off, but my last and longest relationship was with Jacob Black, a local contractor I met when we opened our second retail location, which fizzled after limping along and dying a slow, painful demise at a mere 7 months. I wanted a Jasper of my own- an extension of myself to sense my needs before I did, to love and accept my family and friends, to share precious moments with me as simple as rainy Netflix days or grand as our wedding day.

So here we are, present location downtown Seattle on our annual 'Raid Bella's Closet Day'. I had a constant supply of AWD clothing filling my massive but underutilized walk-in closet, but Alice always stressed that it was important to have a well-rounded wardrobe that included all kinds of fancy names and fabrics. She claimed that it helped the business to represent it as a fashionable united front, and who was I, the VP of "boring stuff", to argue? While my bank account was now massively padded for the 'Bella: Party of 1' I had become accustomed to, it still went against my middle-class sensibilities to drop four or five figures on a new in-season wardrobe regularly, especially with my simple tastes. So, as a concession and to earn one of the patented Alice Whitlock Genuine Smiles that I held so dear, each February I resigned my fate to placing my tax return into her eager hands to do with as she pleased.

Bundled in artfully destroyed denim jeans, the black All-Stars that were the one argument that Alice could never win, a quilted black leather moto jacket, and the most amazing Burberry grey wool infinity scarf that wrapped around for days (and was easily the only item she ever picked out that I accepted eagerly), we made our way from shop to shop. And while to the casual passerby I may have looked like I belonged, any other astute observer would see that here I was once again, the perpetual round peg attempting to fit into the square hole. And also once again, Alice was sternly looking my way with her arms crossed and brown suede bootie tapping loudly on the tile floor.

"Earth to Bella! Did you hear anything in the last five minutes? Because you have that look on your face when you're overthinking, or being overly critical of yourself, or reminiscing about the past in a totally untrue and seriously fucking depressing way, or…" she held her hand up, counting off on each Promiscuous Pink-manicured nail all the ways that I was obvious.

I grinned. Sometimes I wondered if she was psychic.

"Or?" I laughed, earning her lively but flustered laugh in response.

"Or just being Bella!" Alice giggled. "Here I am, so honorably talking up your fantastic business, amazing BFF, and genuine hottie attributes to Rose here, and your head's in the clouds making all my hard work go to waste!"

It was just then that I noticed she was standing next to Rosalie Hale, Jasper's cousin who I had heard so much about but had yet to meet. She was stunningly gorgeous, with the Hale blonde hair and baby blues, but was giving me a sympathetic smile while slowly shaking her head at what I am assuming is my hopelessness.

"It's wonderful to meet you, Bella. Jasper and Alice have told me so much about you, and it's great to finally put a face to the name. I've been begging Alice to bless me with an exclusive AWD line in my shop here, but she's insistent that you're the brains behind this operation." I smiled gratefully at Rose, who took some of the heat off of my daydreaming and steered the direction towards my comfort zone.

"It's great to meet you too, Rose. Alice lives in a fantasy world where I am much more appealing," I chuckled, "I wish I lived there, too." I heard a "Pshh! Crazy, blind woman!" from Alice's general direction while she snatched two of the sweaters from my hand and stomped off towards the menswear, Rose and I locking eyes and breaking into giggles at the pint-sized exuberance.

It was then, suddenly, that a light-headed feeling washed over me; that time slowed inexplicably as if something was important about this moment…that the large, gold ornate clock above the white marble counter seemed to tick ear-piercingly loud for one…two…three…four seconds before the front door opened in a cacophony of rustling footsteps and audible gasps from several patrons. I heard someone call Rose's name, while heavy footfalls made their way in my direction. I continued to peruse the display table in an attempt to distract myself, before they abruptly stopped on the other side. I hadn't looked up, but felt someone starting at me, causing my heart to race with anticipation. Before I was forced to acknowledge it, Rose stepped forward and I could let out a sigh of relief.

"Edward Cullen! Welcome back. It's a pleasant surprise to have you here again!"

My eyes shot up on their own accord, locking with a set of green ones that were tracking my every move. He looked at me expectantly before answering Rose, keeping his eyes trained to mine.

"I was driving by and saw something that I had to have immediately."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

This wasn't my first encounter with Edward Cullen. He may never have noticed me, but nearly every female in the world has noticed him. Edward came from a long line of successful businessmen that were rumored to have impossibly more secrets than dollar signs. Over the last century, his family's accruals ranged from oil refineries and banking to print media and real estate. His grandfather, Marcus Cullen, is said to have ties to the Italian mob, but there had never been any proof of such a thing. His parents, Carlisle and Esme, were well-known in the non-profit circuit for their genuine interest in fundraising and volunteering, not to mention their ability to bring celebrities flocking into Seattle for each $10,000-a-plate dinner benefitting a new hospital wing. Carlisle was an astute businessman in his own right, but handed over the family reigns so he could continue to build on his passion for practicing medicine full-time. He was renowned for his surgical work, and Esme for her architectural and interior design. I had been back and forth via email with Esme over the past several weeks, tossing ideas around for a full-service fashion house to pull all our business, production, and design aspects under one roof. She was an amazing sounding board, speaking to me as an equal, and we worked well together. I had been looking forward to our first face-to-face meeting in a few days at a nearby café that she swore had the "best coffee and best blueprint-sized tables imaginable". Her excitement for the project was contagious, and I had been looking forward to it.

I had run into Edward, quite literally, sometime in the fall my sophomore year of college. It was 45 minutes to game time, and I remember the roar from the football stadium in the distance, and the crunching of leaves and gravel under my feet. The sun had been attempting to break through the stereotypical Washington clouds to no avail, and my mood followed suit. I had been making my way across the 3 blocks from the dorms to the stadium by foot, and was stopped while cutting through the parking lot by a wave from my friend Angela over to her boyfriend Ben's truck and their small group of tailgaters. A red solo cup was thrust exuberantly into my gloved hand, five minutes turned into two hours, and amongst our jokes and embarrassing tales of frat parties, I realized that I was laughing a little too boisterously and stumbling a bit too much. Some guy that Alice had dated for a few weeks our freshman year tossed his arm around my shoulders in the equivalence of a wet blanket, and I suddenly wasn't enjoying myself as much anymore. Angela, in all her sober driver glory, generously offered me a lift back to my dorm, which I accepted eagerly, all intentions of half-hearted football viewing lost.

We began the walk to another part of the parking lot where she had parked her sedan, weaving in and out of the crowds of grillers, corn hole players, and over-imbibers. It was then that a football flew over my head, and I was slammed into from my right side, throwing me harshly to the ground in a cloud of crushed gravel. Large, strong, warm hands pulled me upright, a little too closely, and then brushed me off from shoulder to knee while lingering briefly at my hip. With a mumbled "sorry", the stranger jogged back to his game of catch. By the time I looked up, Angela helping to assess the non-existent damage and whispering excitedly, I could only see the back and broad shoulders with the name CULLEN stretched across the well-worn tee I recognized as standard issue from the school's baseball program. The offender reached up to remove his baseball hat, exposing a head full of copper-colored hair while wiping his forearm across his brow. I wanted him to turn around. I was silently begging for it. If only I could just see his face. If only he looked at me, standing upright now, liquid courage and windblown hair and scuffed tennis shoes. Angela shook me from my reverie, bringing me to my senses before we continued on our way.

I fell into some sort of bizarre routine for the remainder of that year. Alice and I Facebooked him one drunken night, long before privacy settings and newsfeeds. He didn't appear to have a girlfriend, but was always surrounded by gorgeous women in his photos, some that I recognized from TV or magazines. There were quite a few of him sitting in exorbitantly expensive cars, or with teammates, or goofing off at a party while flashing a crooked grin with such bright green eyes that each picture clicked made my knees grow weaker. If I wasn't thinking about Edward, I was seeing him so much around campus that I questioned my sanity. He was nowhere, and then he was everywhere. And I was drawn to him in a way I couldn't control. I don't think he noticed me, because he probably would have called the police if he had. It would be when I was exiting a class, a brush past me that was so very brief that if not for his sandalwood scent and the goose bumps along my arms, I wouldn't have known it was him. Or at a party, our hands accidentally touching while waiting for drinks at the bar. But then it turned into every class, and every party, and suddenly I found myself attending his baseball games, and I felt like it had not been coincidence but my own doing all along. I was uncomfortable with what had turned into my obsession, and knowing that he was graduating that May made it a little easier to see the light at the end of my unhealthy, quasi-stalker tunnel.

I never saw Edward again, and I honestly didn't think about it. I suppose it may have been a combination of a summer away from campus, the demand that Alice swear to never speak his name again, and the desire to forget about the embarrassing but typically Bella interactions, but it wasn't until I connected with Esme for AWD that the memories began to flood my dreams and the pieces clicked into place. I did the typical 'What If?' game before falling asleep each night that women are prone to do with their over-thinking and love of fantasy. But that's all it felt like – a fantasy with too many years passed us by. Alice urged me to Google him, or do some clever Facebook stalking, but it all seemed pointless. Where would that get me? More mob rumors? Pictures of him with supermodels to fully cement me in my pit of depression? Either I would desire him more, an unrequited crush to add more disappointment to my bleak, fucked up love life, or it would turn out that he didn't live up to the fantasy I had conjured in my head from the 45-second interaction in my memories. Those things were laughable, and better left in the past where they belonged.

"I was driving by and saw something that I had to have immediately."

His voice was like velvet, warm and enveloping in a way that sent a tingle down my spine and made me shudder and want to rip off my clothes. He was commanding, with no question that he was the type of man that was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it. He was in a black suit and patent leather shoes with a black overcoat, his white collared shirt and black tie peaking just over the top button. He seemed broader, stronger, taller…maybe 6'3" or 6'4". I tilted my head to the side in question, afraid to speak but wanting him to elaborate. My blood rushed, and I could feel my pulse pounding in my head. Surely the entire store could hear my heart hammering from my chest? Surely he could hear what he was doing to me? I felt like such a fool. I wished the ground would swallow me up to save me from his intense scrutiny. I wanted him and hated him, the combination of feelings swarming around my head shocked me, and soon the tell-tale blush crept across my face, warming me further and causing my breath to come out in a pant. He grinned crookedly at the sound, looking me up and down slowly in a way that felt appraising and intrusive. I shook my head in an attempt to dispel the cloudiness. I wanted to shrink into myself further, but saw Alice continue to move along the racks in the corner of my eye, her presence giving me the boost of confidence to level my gaze with his own.

"I knew it was you."

I wasn't sure what to say. My heart skipped a beat, thumping lamely and drawing me into the intensity surrounding him. Two men, also dressed in black suits and sunglasses unnecessary indoors and especially on the grey winter day, flanked him on each side, looking in my direction but expressionless.

"Um…is there something I can help you with?" I stammered. "This is Rose's store. I'm actually here with my friend. My friend Alice. We're shopping. Alice Whitlock. She has, well, we have…it's mainly her but I, well, we own AW Designs, and not this store. This is Rose's and…wait…what?"

I quickly shut my mouth. My God. Can I just think before I talk? Ever?! I had half the mind to run out of the store screaming, but was waiting for him to do so first. Was this a joke? Why was it silent in here? Why was everyone staring at me? I chanced a look around. The music was still echoing around the shoppers, minding their own business and immersed in their own conversations. Rose had taken off towards the fitting room with a run of sizes for a customer. Alice was debating several artfully crafted belt buckles for Jasper. The only person staring at me was Edward, yet I was trapped in a spotlight of his making that I had no escape from. He ran his thumb along his bottom lip in thought, almost as if debating whether or not to speak again or to allow me to dig my pit of embarrassment even deeper. He chuckled, sending a different type of warmth through my body.

"I remember you so well. The dreams do you no justice. I've seen you, you know. In newspaper articles, small clips showing your business. I knew you were close. Jesus, I had so many chances. Our paths were supposed to cross so many times. Something always came up. Some damned flight out of the country, some stock plummet, some mismanaged appointment that caused me to miss some dull plated dinner where we'd finally talk and things would end up the way they were always meant to."

He continued his expectant gaze, waiting for my response but not sensing my shock. This was not Edward Cullen. This was Fantasy Edward. This was laughable. I started to grow angry with myself and with Figment Edward. Maybe I was hit by a car on my way to Rose's. That must have been it. I must be dead, or in some sort of medically-induced coma. "Typical Bella", they'd all say. Typical fucking Bella indeed. Even my subconscious was cruel.

For the first time since his entrance, Figment Edward appeared to lose some bravado. He shuffled his weight from one foot to the other, and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck in what must have been Figment Edward's nervous habit. A giggle sounded somewhere nearby, beginning to erupt into a full-blown laugh. I clutched my side.

Oh. That sound was coming from me.

Now Edward pursed his lips, his grin morphing into a frown. Imaginary Edward was not supposed to frown. That wasn't something he did. He didn't even know how to do that. Reality began to set in when he spoke again.

"Isabella, are you okay? I know this is really unorthodox. I have just been preparing this whole speech in my head for years and it is not coming out right. Jesus, you sound fucking crazy, Edward…" he trailed off, appearing to be talking to himself now, and began to pace back and forth, "…and you admit you're in love with someone that you've never met. And you think they are just going to walk off into the sunset with you? Oh, it's just me, _mia bella_. You don't know me but I have been secretly revolving my fucking life around yours for the past decade, no big deal…"

His admission caused me to snap to attention. I started to respond, when I felt several shopping bags thrust into my hands.

"Bella! I'm all done. You're going to love what I grabbed for you in here. Great job on the sweater choice, might I add. There may be hope for you yet! Oh! And I set up a meeting with Rose for Saturday after your meeting with Esme, if that's okay. She's tailoring a few of your dresses and she'll bring them with." I simply nodded, and it was then she noticed Edward standing across the table of cashmere that I now would sadly associate with feelings of deep-seeded public humiliation. Goodbye, cashmere. We could have had so many amazing times together.

"Hello! You're Edward Cullen! It's so nice to meet you! I'm Alice. I'm fantastic, and you would be too if you let us dress you instead of Tom Ford. I swear, that man's suits never change. It's one thing to love a classic, but you have to live a little. Your mother Esme is positively fantastic. She's working with Bella on a huge expansion for our design house and please, please, please you absolutely MUST come by for a fitting immediately! I won't take no for an answer! We're going to all be the best of friends, I just know it! I see great things for us!" She slapped him on the back, catching him wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. Now it was my turn to laugh again. Leave it to Alice to take control of a room.

"It's best that you don't resist her. It's futile." I grinned, earning his in return. This wasn't so bad, dream or not. I could do this. Sure. Yeah. I could definitely do this. I could talk to this man in a human, non-creepy type of way. I'm sure we could put that whole Obsessive Bella business behind us. "I do remember you, Edward," I said softly. "I just don't know how to respond. This is kind of surreal, you know? Maybe we could…"

"Dinner!" he blurted a little too loudly. The two men standing by him looked at each other and shook their heads, apparently entertained by what seemed to be out of character for Edward. He chuckled again, and a little quieter elaborated.

"Dinner. Anywhere you want. The sky is the limit. Have you been to Paris? We could go to Paris. Tuscany? I own a vineyard there. New York? The Empire State building has this…"

I had to put a stop to his Bella-style rambling out of understanding and pity. This man was already making my dreams come true. Surely it was only a kindness for me to put him out of his misery.

"Edward. That all sounds lovely but entirely unnecessary. How about something a bit simpler. I'm not really…I mean, that sounds great. It truly does. But I'm not really into those sorts of things."

"Oh. That's...uh..that is entirely unexpected. I don't…," he looked to the two men accompanying him, who both seemed to shrug at some unasked question. "Dinner at my place? I can cook. I mean, I'm able to cook. For you? I am actually quite good. My mother insisted on it. She said it made me well-rounded. I just had you in mind the entire time I suffered through it, to be honest. I used to wonder what type of dishes were your favorites, what would make you happy. I started to enjoy the peace it brought when I could focus on it. It is important to unwind after a brutal work day," he smirked, like he had some inside joke that only he was a part of. "I had a huge kitchen built, actually. I thought you might like that. I wasn't sure you even had an interest in living in a penthouse, but we could build a house if you would prefer. I would be happy anywhere."

It was at that moment that the "so quiet you could hear a pin drop" description was most apropos. Alice looked at me quickly out of the corner of her eye and then nodded her head slightly towards the door way, shifting her weight in that direction. My awe and disbelief started to feel more like discomfort. Was this guy for real? I shivered, an eerie feeling enveloping me. Now that I really looked at him, I became frightened. He looked so beautiful, so intense, so serious, and so dangerous…and the combination was compelling. His eyes held excitement and frenzy, like I was something to eat. The men standing beside him, previously an after-thought, now looked menacing. I desperately wanted to escape now. I couldn't think around him. He was too close; this was too much.

"Edward, it was lovely running into you. Alice and I really must be on our way." I started to steer her towards the door, and for the first time ever she was silently complying. He reached out, taking a step towards me before I held my hand up in a motion to stop. "Since I'll be meeting with Esme, I'll ask her for your contact information. I'm sorry to be in such a rush. I'll contact you soon. Enjoy your afternoon." It felt like I was holding my breath when I pushed fully through the front door, walking quickly and wordlessly an entire block until we were forced to wait for a green light to change at a crosswalk and Alice yanked her arm from my grasp.

"Isabella Marie Swan! What on earth was that?! What was up with those men? Who the hell does Edward Cullen think he is?! Do you think he's really in the mob? He seriously looked like he'd be in the mob. That's badass. That was nuts! First I feel like I'm intruding on some intimate moment, and the next I'm getting totally creeped out. I swear Bella, he's hiding something. But I don't think it's bad. I don't know…maybe it is. Shit! I don't know. This is kind of fate, isn't it? I thought he was going to throw you down and have his way with you. It was actually kind of hot. Hmm…Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way…"

"Please, Alice. Something was…not fucking right. I don't mean with him. Well, maybe I do. Or maybe it's just me and my guilty fucking conscience. I don't know. He was like, this fantasy guy. This whole thing is fucking bizarre. But it wasn't just that he must be out of his mind to have these feelings for someone he doesn't even know, especially me. There was something that just seemed intense about him. And it was…it wasn't like I felt like he would hurt me. It was actually sexy, and dominant. I felt like I was his entire world. It was fucking freaky. It was overwhelming. 'Be careful what you wish for' and all of that shit. I don't think I want to see him again, Al. I'm not making any sense..."

Alice was just staring at me, looking like she was about to burst. "Alright, Alice. Let it out." The little brat let out an obnoxious laugh, right in my face, and continued on until bits of mascara began to smear on the tears running down her rosy cheeks.

"Oh Bella, you never saw yourself clearly. You're the one out of your mind! I think maybe your overactive imagination is running away from you and taking me with it. Oooh…this is going to be sooo good! I take back what I said. I'm definitely sticking with my first impression of him. Who'd have thought he'd be even hotter than he was back in college? He's going to be around, mark my words Bella. Loosen up! It's about time you had some excitement! This is like, your dream come true! It's fate, I'm telling you! This is going to be the best!"

I looked at her skeptically, and resolved to put the entire day behind me. A glass or three of the chilled moscato that I knew was waiting for me in my beverage cooler, a hot bath, my comfy bed, and I would wake up tomorrow like Edward Cullen never happened.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

The weekend descended upon me quickly after a string of restless nights and never-ending exhaustion, and despite my interaction with Mr. 'is he or isn't he a mob boss' Cullen, I was still excited about my meeting with Esme. When my mind was on the business, I truly blossomed. Alice and I worked so well together because we were simply two sides of the same coin. If it weren't for her, I would be hopelessly lost in myself. She always urged me to relax, believe in fate, and enjoy each day to the fullest. And as hard as I was on myself, I also knew in my heart that Alice needed me, too. Jasper always said that her head would float right up past the clouds and to the heavens if I didn't keep a steady string on her. It always made us laugh, but I knew that he meant it in a kind hearted way.

Friday evening, I received a text from Esme asking if I was still planning on meeting with her the following afternoon. I began to type, but found myself at a loss of what to say. Had she heard from Edward? Did she know about what happened at Rosalie's? Was she going to cancel now? She probably thought I was nuts. I decided it'd be better to give her a call instead of over-analyzing a text, so I cleared my throat before dialing her number. She picked up mid-ring.

"Bella! My goodness, it's wonderful to hear from you! I was concerned about tomorrow afternoon...are you still interested in meeting?" Silence. Ah. So she HAD spoken to Edward. I was about stammer out an excuse, but then she continued.

"...because I hadn't heard from you, and I know how short-notice things seem to always pop up when you have so much responsibility on your plate. If it's easier for you, we can set up a meeting at your office?" Huh. Okay...silly, crazy, imaginative Bella. Not everything is about Edward Cullen.

"I'm sorry Esme, some things did in fact come up. But I absolutely am looking forward to tomorrow. Alice and I fine-tuned a few things this week and I hope you appreciate the challenge. I'll meet you at the cafe at 11." We exchanged goodbyes, and I fell asleep with my phone clutched against my chest and a confusing pang of disappointment that Edward must not have mentioned me to his mother after all.

I woke up later than usual after another night of Edward-induced tossing and turning, and made my way to the shower. Mid-yawn, I stepped under the steaming currents and closed my eyes. It was normally my favorite part of the day, where there was no sound but the rushing of water against my head clearing my thoughts and helping me to focus, but today I felt as if my knees would buckle at any moment. Like every other time I closed my eyes this week, I was assaulted by visions of Edward, grinning, laughing, flustered, exhilarating, dangerous. I reached over to the shower panel and turned on the wall sprayers at the highest heat setting before bracing my hands against the cool travertine wall. What was wrong with me? Maybe Alice was right…maybe I did need to loosen up. Or maybe she was right when she implied I am crazy. I thought back to her description of mine and Edward's interaction. Now that I was past the initial shock of his presence, I could see him in a new light. Sure, he was…strange. He said several things that normally would have made me clutch my pepper spray while running as far away as possible. But the heat in his stare, the affection pouring off of him in waves, the aura that surrounded him was magnetic and hypnotizing. I wanted more. I needed a fix. I was so conflicted and it scared me, but perhaps it was time for me to let down my guard. So, the whole thing was unconventional. Doesn't that make the best love stories? I've dealt with someone secretive before. Then again, that did end pretty fucking terribly. Was it fair to let my experiences with Jacob ruin what could end up being something thrilling and amazing?

Jacob and I had met about a week after Alice and I purchased a 4,000 square foot store front near Pike Place Market. Alice wanted something that was in a more casual but bustling neighborhood to sell her new "Bella Line", as she humorously nicknamed it, that still felt high-end without sacrificing comfort. Denim, basics, outerwear, boots, and sleepwear was her goal for this location. Soft materials but a bit more masculine than her usual designs with deep, solid colors and rich patina leather. We grabbed two folding chairs, made a stop at Starbucks for venti caramel lattes, and plopped down in front of the store to people watch and get a more concise vision for our clientele. It was two hours into hopeless giggling and note taking that Jacob took a step onto the curb, blocking my sunshine. In retrospect, that should have been a huge fucking sign. But we were friendly, and welcoming, and he was flirty, and I had not yet experienced a true heartbreak so I tried to keep myself open to any possibilities. We all introduced ourselves; Jacob owned a local construction company and engineering firm, and we coincidentally were in the market for one. We ended up forging a business relationship while he forcefully wedged himself into our little group. It was a few weeks of his persistence before I finally agreed to a date with him, and while it was enjoyable, there wasn't much of a spark between us. Alice told me to go with my gut, warning me that Jacob was great but that she had a feeling it would end badly. She said he 'wasn't what she pictured' for me. Unfortunately, a vague mental 'picture' of my ideal match isn't something tangible for a girl to work with, and I convinced myself in the meantime that I must have had some sort of unrealistic expectations for a relationship. I was inexperienced with the whole long-term thing, and surely Jasper and Alice were an anomaly. I got along with Jacob just fine. He was a bit standoff-ish at times with my friends, but not hostile. He met my parents while they were in town one dreary day, leaving them unimpressed - something else that I suppose should have been a big flashing neon sign. That might have been awkward, but there wasn't a singular thing I could pinpoint that stood out as a complete deal breaker, other than a few eerie feelings from time to time. Alice and Jazz always commented on how strange it was that I had never met his family, or any of his friends. I knew he had a few other businesses, but I didn't know what they were and I never asked. He always had some excuse, countless mysterious phone calls that he claimed were nothing for me to concern myself with, and frankly I just couldn't find it in me to really care. I didn't feel the breathlessness, the butterflies that I used to feel each time I thought of Edward, but that had been a youthful fantasy. This was my life, and Jacob was not exactly a _negative_ thing, persay. Not at first.

It was a couple months of dating when I finally gave up my reluctance to the term 'girlfriend', much to his delight, and a drunken night out with friends resulted in a cab ride home full of groping and a slurred "I love you" to fall from his lips. I had fully intended to pretend I had never heard it as I pushed him through his apartment doorway and left for my own place, but the next morning I awoke to him, let in by Alice, and standing above my bed with a cup of coffee and dozen roses. He apologized for the night before, and placed kisses all over my face before locking the door and turning back to me with a heated gaze. He stalked in my direction before setting down the drink and roses, forgotten as he started to unbuckle his belt. I simply watched, confused from sleep and a slight hangover, and convincing myself that this is a normal thing in a relationship. We had been together a couple months, and I had never spent a night with him or let him do anything further than feeling me up. I wasn't a kid. It was time to suck it up and get over this problem I had with commitment and aversion to affection. I know I'm fucked up. I'm not too proud to admit it. It was time to come to terms with that.

Jacob quickly undressed and stood above my bed, breathing erratically like an overly excited mutt, which wasn't unusual for him with his two packs-a-day, disgusting smoking habit. He stared pointedly and offensively in my direction, like he was waiting for me to do something with his average nakedness and I just hadn't gotten the memo. Of course it wasn't my first time, no thanks to a small run of embarrassing one night stands in college, but it had certainly been many years. And it was at this moment that it became most glaringly clear: I felt nothing romantically for Jacob. There was no desire for him, no attraction, nothing but a sick feeling of inevitability in the pit of my stomach. He grabbed me by my hips and turned me around so that while my back was still on the bed, my legs and ass were hanging over the side. He quickly pulled down my panties before picking up my legs and wrapping them around him, mumbling about me not being wet. I looked over at the clock: 7:37. I sighed. Might as well get this over with.

He then reached somewhere next to me to go digging through his jeans for his wallet. I closed my eyes and listened to my heartbeat: slow and steady, completely bored, utterly disappointed. I didn't have anything to do this morning, so I figured, what the hell? Maybe this would scratch some itch I had and we could go about business as usual. I could hear him tearing open the foil packet before placing himself between my legs again. Without a word or any sort of pomp and circumstance, he lifted my ankles up to his shoulders and shoved himself into me. It was only about a minute before he started to pick up pace, thrusting erratically like he never touched a fucking woman before, mumbling my name over and over while I was attempting not to gag. I still hadn't opened my eyes, and had actually resigned myself to thinking about my grocery list. I was on 'produce' when Jacob went as deep as I guess he could and fell limply on top of me, grabbing awkwardly at my tits and covering me with sloppy kisses while telling me how good I was. I looked back over to the cream colored clock perched upon the nightstand: 7:41, start to finish. Surely that was some record.

"I love you so much, Bells. So, so much. We're so good together." How nauseating.

But alas, I powered on in this farce. Because there was nothing 'wrong' with our stagnant relationship, I suppose. It just _existed_ , and maybe that was as good as I was going to get. Maybe something was wrong with me. Maybe that's all I deserved. I think that was my silent fear...that it was either this, or being alone.

I suffered through a few months more before a heated dinner party argument gave me the out I had been looking for, and I slipped so smoothly back into single-hood that Alice's ringtone for me- to this day, to her delight, and to my chagrin- is 'Smooth Criminal.'

It was an impromptu couples dinner at Alice's and my condo, with the four of us joined by Angela and Ben. Alice and Ang were chatting about the unknowingly hot-button topic of their wedding colors and invitation fonts over plates of my lasagna when I heard Jacob's fork clatter loudly on Alice's prized Wedgewood. "Bells, it's been months since I told you I love you. I tell you every day. What's your fucking problem?" It was like a cold bucket of water, or the effectiveness of a screech on a turntable. Everyone stared at me but Alice, fidgeting while looking at something interesting in her wine glass, who had been telling me to dump Jacob since our first date. I wanted to wait until construction on the storefront was complete, I had argued. It would be awkward to continue the business relationship with anger between us, I had said. She just shook her head at my half-assed reasoning and desire to avoid unpleasant confrontation, and told me to be smart. I assured her I would, which ended up being utter bullshit. Once I had gotten into a routine with having a relationship, it wasn't worth the headache. Before I knew it, I had almost lost so much time and so much of myself that I couldn't let this continue any further.

I took a deep breath and shook my head slowly. "Jake," I whispered, as if he were a wild animal and speaking to him in relaxing tones would make this situation less miserable for any of us. "I just…I don't feel that way about you…not the same way you feel about me, anyways. I do kind of love you, in a way, and I value your friendship, but it's…"

The crash of his chair toppling into my antique huntsboard halted my train of thought and forced me to look him in the eye. He looked rabid, clenching his fists by his side. He glared at each one of us before turning his attention back to me. He wanted a fight. Fine. I simply sighed in resignation and downed the rest of my wine before reaching across the table for Alice's glass and throwing that back as well. Her jaw dropped, and I saw a flash of humor on her face while Angela raised her own drink and tipped her head in my direction in a silent 'cheers!'

Alright. Snarky Bella can come out to play. I got this.

"Jacob, get your head out of your ass. You know damn well that whatever this was between us has been limping along for months. I should have put a stop to it before it started but quite frankly, you're an excellent carpenter."

More silence. Damn. I did a quick run-through of what I had just said, and judging by the look of shock on Jasper's face, maybe I should have used a different tactic.

"Carpentry, Bella? What the fuck?!"

"Oh, you know what I mean, Jake. We had a contract, and at that point in the remodel it would have been a headache to go through the process with another firm, not to mention someone willing to pick up where you left off without fear of being at fault for any prior structural issues." More clearing of throats. More silence. Well, this is going over swimmingly, Bella.

"You know what? Fuck you! Fuck you and all of your fake-ass friends! Fuck all of you! What a waste of time, you fucking bitch!" Jacob grabbed his coat and made his way to the foyer, but stopped midway to spit more vitriol at me.

"You're going to pay for this, Bella. You know we belong together. I swear to God, you'll fucking pay for humiliating me. You have no idea what you've started. This isn't over."

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, despite the chill that ran down my spine. So this is the real Jacob? I racked my brain. How did I miss this? "Jake, be a doll and close the door on your way out?" He didn't respond with anything but a vulgar finger raised in my direction and the slam of the door. It was quiet for a few beats before Jasper reached over and tapped me on my arm before hissing and yanking his hand away.

"Damn, Bells! Ice cold!" We all broke into laughter, and Ben walked over to the kitchen island to grab another bottle of wine as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. A part of me did feel bad for Jacob, because it was my fault that things had progressed to the state they were in. I should not have been such a coward, and if I had ended it after the very first date, we likely would have remained friends. I guess I shouldn't have said the things that I did either, but I don't like being called out in an inappropriate setting and I sure as hell was shocked at seeing his true colors.

I felt disgusted that I had let him touch me, and silently vowed that my next relationship would be one I actually wanted to be a part of. But it was difficult to find too much remorse in the situation when I was surrounded by my good friends who loved me in spite of my shortcomings, and so it was unceremoniously back to the romantic drawing board even though I had a strange feeling in the back of my mind that Jacob might make good on his threat.


	4. Chapter 4

_**AN -**_ I'll keep these things at a minimum, I swear! You guys are blowing me away with the kind messages! I'm relieved that 'my Bella' is coming across the way I intended. I love reading fics when she is a strong woman but still has an element of vulnerability when it comes to Edward - when he's so obviously her weakness, and he has a side that only she gets to see. I guess it's that old fashioned fiction notion of the knight in shining armor that I'm attracted to, and I'm a sucker for all things Mobward. Things like that just don't seem to happen in real life, and Bella agrees! But I've felt a tiny piece of that whirlwind romance before, and I know that no matter how intelligent I may have been, it still took some time for my head to catch up to my heart. I hope you bear with these two trying to chart their way through the unknown with me.

On a much less sexy note (unless rambling author notes float your boat...no judgements here! Go on and fly your freak flag!), I've got this whole thing mapped out, and it's nearly finished. Took more twists than I had originally planned, but I guess that's the fun with this type of thing. I've found that I really get lost in my head with the back stories! I can't say "It was a fall day". Like, it literally hurt my heart to type that. I'm not much of a talker in RL, so maybe that's why my words get away from me! Maybe my last chapter should just be the Cliff Notes version lol.

My plan was a chap a week, but seeing the list of finished ones lined up in my doc manager is just too much temptation for one girl to handle. No sense in delaying it! So, I solemnly vow to post weekly, but have been going back and forth on much more often to burn through it quickly. I was never strong enough for a WIP!

You can prolong the burn if you'd like, though. The anticipation _is_ half the pleasure, after all! ;) Xx

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 _ **Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

And speaking of drawing board, here I was, stumbling out of a cab in downtown Seattle while quite literally clutching one, weighed down by a satchel full of ideas and my new Macbook Pro on 4 inch nude pumps that Alice assured me look fantastic with my navy fitted dress and tan wool coat. Then again, everything was absolutely 'fantastic' when it came to Alice, and I was lucky enough to gain her seal of approval before leaving the condo. Not before promising to be on my best behavior, of course.

"I think we'll work perfectly with Esme. She seems to understand our vision, and I've got a great feeling about her. Just be your charming self, Bella. But not _too_ much of yourself, you know what I mean?" she giggled while I rolled my eyes. "We both know how you can get sometimes. Stage one, you start doubting your fabulousness. Stage two, you get all mopey. Stage three, Miss Attitude comes out to play. Stage four..."

"Alright! Alright, Al. Thanks. Really. You're a sweetheart. You sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself." I grumbled. She just laughed louder and placed a noisy kiss to my cheek before practically shoving me down the hall and into the elevator. Luckily, it was a mild day with hardly a breeze, so my only obstacle on the way into the café was my hilarious balancing act. Someone was exiting the restaurant and kindly held the door open for me, and I inhaled the rich, heavenly smells of coffee and fresh baked breads as I stepped into the warmth of the building. I was a half hour early, but began to look around the large coffee shop for an empty table when the door opened once again and brought with it the familiar sensation of time standing still. The patron walked towards me and stopped mere inches from behind me, their warm breath on the back of my neck and sending tingles down my spine. What was he doing here? Wasn't this crossing some sort of line? Or was I throwing caution to the wind fully now? I made my decision, straightened my shoulders, and turned around with a new sense of resolve.

"Mr. Cullen."

"Ms. Swan."

He smiled at me affectionately, and reached forward to take my bag and work prints. He held them easily in one arm and then stepped to my side, placing his hand at the small of my back and guiding me towards a room in the back of the restaurant. We were walking around a set of tables when a woman around my age snapped a picture of him on her phone. Edward nodded towards her table, and before we passed by, a man I recognized as having accompanied Edward in Rosalie's was at the woman's side, causing her face to drain of color. He threw down several hundred dollar bills before grabbing her phone roughly and walking away. I look over at Edward, puzzled.

"Well, Mr. Cullen...that was a strange interaction between your friend and that woman, wouldn't you agree? You seem to bring an ominous feeling with you where ever you go. I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with it."

He chuckled darkly. "Emmett is not a friend, Isabella. You would do well to keep that in mind for the future. He is my employee. I do not take kindly to gawkers taking pictures of me and especially of you, and I do not appreciate our whereabouts being broadcast among the internet. I take every precaution when protecting what is mine."

I gulped and chose to ignore the bulk of his response. Another check mark in the 'Potential Mobster' column. "But surely, a Cullen should be more inviting to the public. Especially you...I've heard that you seem to have a bit of a cult following from your admirers across the globe." Edward halted our advance towards the private seating area, pulling me into the shadows of a hallway near the kitchen. He turned me to face him, backing me up against the cool paneled wall and tightening his grip on my waist. He stepped impossibly close, exhaling minty air across my face mixed with the sandalwood scent that was so clear in my memories. My eyes were focused on the stubble of his chin, and I followed it down to his Adam's apple. God, what I wouldn't give to lick him. Just once. That wouldn't be a weird thing to do. Not at all. Totally normal.

"Isabella, look at me. Please. _Dio non voglia,_ heaven forbid I've," he gulped nervously, "I've been dying for it since I last saw you."

I slowly looked up to his face, which I had been trying to avoid. Almost immediately, my pulse began to race. He was so beautiful that it hurt, like looking straight into the sun, and his expression mirrored mine. I was now wholly convinced that Edward was confusing me with someone else. I'm sure he had an entire harem stashed away somewhere and couldn't keep them all straight. There's no way that look was meant for Bella Swan. I found myself at a loss for words when he was anywhere within a 50-yard radius of me, and I was quietly wondering what the over/under was on me saying something completely embarrassing. I was about to break the tension by joking that he was beginning to look like something of a stalker - pot, meet kettle - when he pressed his cool lips against my flushed cheeks. I stiffened in his arms, and he pulled back to look at me, like he was gauging whether or not I was about to bolt. He must have seen something in my expression that convinced him otherwise, because he nodded slightly to himself and leaned forward to press his lips softly to mine.

There was no way to describe kissing Edward other than Heaven. Pure, unadulterated bliss. The type of feeling that makes your heart want to burst from your chest. I heard my bag drop to the floor, and I sent a quick prayer to the tech gods that my laptop was unharmed. My hands moved at their own accord, snaking up his chest and around his neck until they found their way firmly rooted to his hair. Fuck, how could I be so turned on by someone's hair?! This was unhealthy. This was so fucking amazing. And this might come crashing down in some big cluster of fucking craziness, but damnit if I wasn't going to enjoy this moment of happiness.

Edward pulled me closer, wrapping one arm around me firmly and tangling his other hand into the back of my hair. I found myself pressed against his massive erection. Well, there's no fucking hiding that thing in a suit. Damn. But of course. Of course Fantasy Edward would be perfect. I could feel the heat and the hardness through my dress, and wondered if it would even fit inside me. Hell, I'd make it fit. I loved a challenge. What I didn't love, however, was the gush of liquid that seeped into my panties pre-business meeting. Mid-thought of panties, Edward slipped his tongue against mine, drawing me into some sensual dance that was quickly becoming primal. Screw it. I'll just go commando. Sorry, baristas. Sorry, Esme.

He pulled his mouth slowly from mine, giving me a few sweet kisses before settling his forehead against my own. Trying to catch his breath, he gazed into my eyes with such love that I couldn't doubt his insane feelings any longer. Edward might be certifiably crazy, I might still be partially convinced that I was completely imagining all of this, but I sure as hell wasn't going to burst this bubble if I could help it. I guess we weren't so different after all. Maybe I could live blissfully in fulfilling my crazy stalker Edward fantasy with him none the wiser. Or maybe we'll share a padded cell.

"What are you doing to me, Isabella?" he whispered reverently. "I know you feel it, too, _innamorato_ , my lover. Now do you understand?"

Edward proceeded to lift my leg slightly off the ground and wrapped it around him, thrusting lazily into me. My eyes locked with his stunning green ones as he slithered his fingers slowly down my thigh and right to where I needed him. He pushed my dress up several inches until my white lace panties were exposed. Lost in the moment, I moved one of my hands slowly down his back to settle on his belt when my hand reached something cold and steel. That's...yep. Shit. That's exactly what I think it is. I was excited. I was scared, and I liked it. I was brought out of my rush of fear when Edward groaned, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling for a beat before he looked at me again, determination across his face.

"Not here, Isabella. Please tell me that you want this too. Only you. Always you, Isabella. Please fucking tell me there is no one else. Tell me you are mine."

It's official. This man is like a drug. He's practically a stranger, yet I can't form a coherent thought around him. I'm here in a restaurant, panting like a whore, feeling up a fucking gun and I couldn't find it in me to care. I was losing my damn mind. 'The Earth is flat, you say? Why of course it is, Edward. Naturally.' Shit. I'd tell him anything he wanted to hear at this point. Fantasies were funny that way.

"It's been you. For so fucking long."

He looked shocked at my declaration. I supposed I hadn't been very forthcoming with him, simply taking what he offered and running before offering anything in return. In fact, there was no sugar-coating the fact that I was completely freaked out the last time that I had seen him. But hey, now I was trying to be a new and improved Bella and all that. And this felt too good. I hoped Real Edward was as fulfilling in the sheets as Fantasy Edward. Somehow, I knew he'd be better. He was teasing the edges of lace when I heard his phone start to ring. He shifted himself to reach into his pocket, face suddenly neutral before answering.

"Cullen. Yes, yes she is here. Yes, that will be acceptable. Remind him of what happens to those who attempt those sorts of things. Yes. Fine." He pushed the phone back into his pocket and lowered me to the ground, his hand running through his hair before straightening his tie. "Isabella, my mother is stopped by some minor traffic, but will arrive soon. I have some urgent business that I must attend to, but please let me escort you to the area she reserved. I'd like to speak with you for a moment if that is acceptable." He bent over to retrieve my forgotten bag and prints, and while straightening my dress, I boldly decided to run my hands underneath to grab hold of my panties and pull them off. It wasn't until after I stepped out of them that I looked up to Edward, smugness plastered on his face.

"I'm impressed. I think you are truly meant for me. How am I supposed to focus for the rest of the afternoon?" People didn't do this kind of shit in real life, but I was gonna roll with it, so I shrugged and decided to ride this adrenaline high a little longer by shoving my soaked panties into his coat pocket and then giving him a wink.

"I'm sure you're the type of man that has no problem when it comes to keeping his eye on the prize." He let out a small laugh.

"'Oh Isabella, you have no idea."

He then clasped my hand in his and led me quickly to a small, private dining area. There was a stone fireplace climbing out of the cobblestone flooring, burning brightly in the comfortable space. A cluster of oversized leather chairs, typical for most coffee shops, sat to the left. Closest to the entrance sat a large table that could comfortably seat 10-12 people. The space was relaxing and significantly quieter than the rest of the coffee house, obviously conducive to group study sessions or business meetings. Edward continued walking past me, halting at one of the armchairs to set my things down, eyes locked on mine. He rolled his shoulders like he was preparing for a caged match, and started move predatorily in my direction, quietly whispering my name like a prayer. I placed my hands on my hips, feigning boredom in an effort to get my shit together though my skin was buzzing with anticipation.

"Everyone calls me Bella, Edward. You don't have to be so formal."

He didn't respond. He simply grabbed hold of me once he crossed the distance between us and pulled my body against his. He was good at that. He was good at everything. He licked the shell of my ear before settling on my neck, gently nibbling before starting to suck and bite down. I knew he was intentionally marking me, and some animalistic part of me wanted it so fucking badly. Whatever it took to let everyone know that I belonged to him. And I wanted it everywhere.

"You are my _Isabella_. You always have been. We have so much to talk about, and I promise I'll tell you everything. Let's start with this evening, though. May I pick you up from Alice's at seven?"

"It's my place, too. And yes. I can get you my address…" He stopped me from making my way to my bag.

"I have it already, Isabella. But you may want to speak with Alice about ending your living arrangements. I would like you to be under my roof as soon as possible," he said non-chalantly before just staring at me, unblinking. There wasn't a question or any hesitation in his voice…it was as if he just stated a well-known fact and there was no point in arguing it. The last time I saw Edward, he became flustered around me, making me feel like maybe...just maybe...we weren't on completely different levels. I didn't see any sign of that Edward now. He made me feel powerful, but so powerless.

"Uh…you seem pretty sure of yourself. You have to admit, this whole thing sounds fucking insane. We don't even know each other. I don't know you from any other guy I've hooked up with."

That elicited a growl, and Edward suddenly had a look on his face that genuinely frightened me. I shrank back a little and regretted ruining what was a pretty fucking spectacular 15 minutes. Note to self: a jealous Edward is both scary and a turn on.

"There are no other guys. And for the record, there sure as hell aren't any other fucking women for me. I know you, _Bella,_ and soon I'll know you better than you know yourself. You have an effect on me that drives me out of my mind...but I make NO mistakes, so stop second guessing this. Perhaps I could have...taken it down a notch or two the other day. But I don't regret it, because being near you merely solidified my feelings. I could see the inevitability on your face. I was afraid that I scared you off for good, and I don't take kindly to any type of rejection, but I know this chemistry is undeniable. And now that I'm certain you feel it, too? I could not be a happier man, Isabella. There's no way in hell that I could possibly be any damn happier than I am with you in my arms."

Alright, then. That'll do it. We have a lot to talk about, like how incredibly insane this is, and how incredibly insane I probably am, and how he's maybe/sort of/probably a fucking mafia Don. I know that my little college obsession is going to come out in the open, whether he starts to remember me or if Alice alludes to it in some way. But I'll deal with all that bullshit later. Right now, I'm sold on this concept of Fantasy Edward coming to life. I'm _so_ fucking sold.

In usual Bella fashion, I still had a small voice nagging me from the back of my head, though...was it coincidence that he was here today? Did Esme tell him what time she was meeting me, and why? How did he know I lived with Alice? How the hell did he know where I lived at all?

Aaaand...there it was. Logical thought finally fighting its way back into my head. Sorry to break up this love fest, Bella...but fantasies are just that. Time to be smart; I don't know this guy, I don't know that he can be trusted, I don't know if I can be trusted with him. And I'm sure the other shoe will drop soon.

The space suddenly seemed too small. I was suffocating. I had to get out of here. I was drunk off his presence, all rational thought escaping me. I couldn't see him again. Fuck, why was I always so foolish when it came to this stuff?

I sent a beaming smile his way and threw my arms around his neck, burying my face into his broad chest to hide the nervousness on my face...a silent goodbye while committing the feel of him to memory.


	5. Chapter 5

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 _ **Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

EPOV

I tried to listen to what Garrett was saying, but it was nearly impossible with Isabella so close to me.

"Mr. Cullen, McCarty confirmed that Ms. Swan has arrived safely, and that her roommate has been spotted in one of their business locations. We plan on taking the opportunity to sweep the condo now, just in case he has gained entry again. And Sir, Esme is on her way to the restaurant. The driver is held up in traffic, but it's nothing suspicious. There seems to be a pile up at the exit ramp."

"Yes, yes she is here. Yes, that will be acceptable. Remind him of what happens to those who attempt those sorts of things. Yes. Fine." I disconnected the call before placing my phone back in my pocket, and took the opportunity to try to discreetly adjust myself. I don't think she realizes what she fucking does to me. Her beautiful face, so quick to grow pink with blush, deep brown eyes so innocent. But her body, Jesus. Her fucking body was meant for sin. Energy was crackling between us like a lit fuse, and part of me feared she would end up a casualty. Being close to me would cause notoriety, and not in a good way. There were already several targets on Isabella, and while we had a few suspects, we didn't know who exactly was pulling the strings. I'm always being watched, by my own guys as well as enemies, but someone was pretty fucking smart to piece together my obsession. At this point, I didn't know if it was my mafiosi or not, and now that I've finally made contact with her, I was going to take every fucking precaution, whether she got pissed off at that shit or not. No one would touch what was mine, no one touches The Family. And Isabella would be part of that family soon enough, mark my fucking words.

My whole life, I knew what weight came with those who bore the Cullen name. I knew I came from a long line of Dons, and while we had acquired many legitimate companies over the years, it sure as hell was business as usual behind the scenes. I loved the money and women and the excitement, but grew up so protected that I didn't comprehend the danger. I saw my father Carlisle advising different facets of the companies we controlled but still maintaining a separation to practice his life's work. He had always been firm with me, but fair. Respect and honor was the name of the game in our household, and nothing was drilled into me more than The Family. As I grew older, fucking cocky thanks to the fear from anyone that crossed paths with us, I thought the respect would just come to me. But that wasn't how it worked, and one visit from my grandfather Marcus set my ass straight.

"Edward, you're almost eighteen now. It's time to think about what that means for you, for the Cosa Nostra. Your father passed over his opportunity to be Mafioso and I allowed it since he had a son, and because I was young enough to carry on for a few more decades until you were ready to take my place. We've let you fuck around long enough. It's time to get your damn head on straight, boy. What are your plans?"

I knew this day would come, but I had been busy fucking any female with long hair and a decent pair of tits, buying fast cars that no teenager should even be looking at, and telling myself that I was clever when stealing weed from the business' stock piles when in actuality it was pretty fucking obvious that my grandfather was simply letting me. I was always getting pulled over, but mysteriously allowed on my way once they took a look at my driver's license. I guess I thought I was lucky, or damn smooth. What a joke. Marcus was just biding his time, letting me sow my wild oats, get that shit out of my system before my ass was on the line.

"Hell, you know I'm the best damn shot there is. I'm fucking smart. I'm ready for this shit." I started to grin confidently as I took a seat on the couch in my father's study until I heard his hand slam against the desk, rattling papers to the ground.

"That's your fucking problem, Edward. You've got talent, I'll give you that. But you're not a leader, you have no respect, and you're not fucking humble enough. You need to have a backbone and carry yourself a certain way, sure. But ruthlessness alone won't successfully protect the interests of The Family if you don't remind yourself constantly that all of this relies on you, on your head, on your heart, on your fucking decisions. We're made men, men of honor, and we've earned our place, but you haven't. You also fail to see that we are nothing without the people under us. Everyone plays a role, and they deserve an amount of respect for their part in it. You haven't seen any fucking threat; you haven't seen any loss, any level of responsibility and sacrifice because you've been so fucking sheltered from it. And that's my fault. I've allowed you to play these childish games for too long. _A chi fa male, mai mancano scuse,_ who does evil is never short of excuses, what's done is done. But it's time for you to wake up!"

That was rich coming from him. But I knew my grandfather was right, and it hurt to hear just how immature he thought that I was. I didn't want to let him down, and I knew that letting The Family down was not a fucking option.

"Well, if I've got a few more years, I guess I could go to college. Someplace nearby, so that I could start learning the ropes in my downtime, but..." I shrugged, "Maybe get a business degree. I think it'd be useful."

Marcus was smiling now. He sat down and let out his breath in a huff, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck in a trait that somehow was passed down through the generations as well. He leaned forward and placed his hands together on the desktop, and spoke a lot softer when he responded.

"Edward my boy, I understand what you are doing. You and I both know that you have no interest in school. You don't have to admit it, but you also know damn well that you aren't ready for this responsibility. And you're attempting to put The Family first in your plans, the first step in showing me that I can trust you. I think college is a great idea. I know you've gotten a few offers to play ball at several of them…why not take one of them up on it? I want you to stay away from the drugs and the broads, Edward. Enough of that shit. The next woman you stick your dick in better be the one with a Cullen rock on her finger. Drink, play ball, have a reasonable way to release some steam, have a few more years of fun before you've got to take the oath. A bit of routine and structure will help you focus, and a business degree is a smart idea. It is useful, because never forget that you've got other responsibilities outside of being a Mafioso. I'll be keeping eyes on you."

Several months later, I found myself stepping into the athletic dorm at Washington State. I planned on buying a house, but bunking with the other athletes was a requirement for all freshmen, and no matter how much money I threw their way, apparently they wouldn't budge. Jackasses.

I was carrying my last box of shit down the hallway when I saw a guy with wavy blonde hair hauling some baseball gear enter my room. My instincts put me on alert, but then I remembered that The Family already had run background checks on everyone in the building as well as tapped into the security feeds and phone lines. I was hoping it was my assigned roommate, Jasper Hale. I knew he was from Texas, far enough away from Seattle that maybe he hadn't paid attention to anything floating around in the media about the Cullens. It had been awhile since I had any interaction with someone who didn't already have a preconceived opinion of me, and I was looking forward to the possibility. Still, I entered cautiously, my hand ready to reach for the back of my jeans where I kept my piece. Gun-free campus, my ass.

"Hey! You must be Edward. Good to meet you, man. Guess it's you and I for the year. Shit, I saw your stats. You got an arm on you. Maybe this sorry team has a chance with you pitching?" He stood up, holding his hand out, so I set down the box and relaxed a bit before walking across the room to shake.

"Yeah, nice to meet you too. You're Jasper, right? Catcher? I didn't see you at conditioning this summer."

He smiled, and I instantly relaxed. I got a good vibe from him, nonthreatening, and Cullen instincts were never wrong.

"Nope. I was actually training with U of Texas before my parents moved up here. We're a close family, so it didn't feel right to stay down there without them. Luckily it wasn't too late since I was dragging my feet on signing my letter of intent. Now ya'll got my ass."

I chuckled. Family. Right. I understood that sentiment a little too well. "I get the family thing, man. We've got some similar priorities. I think this is going to work out pretty fucking spectacularly."

The years seemed to fly by. I went out once in awhile, hooked up off and on but drowning in boredom, my grandfather's demands ringing in my head. I knew I was being watched, so I stayed smart. College girls are a dime a dozen, and I quickly lost interest even though my reputation seemed to hang over my head like a curse. Jazz and I became thick as thieves, but he had an uncanny way of reading people and was smart as hell, so I had a feeling he knew that I was hiding something. There were several instances when I had left in the middle of the night for a job and returned to our apartment at two in the morning, dressed in a suit with bruised knuckles and looking bit worse for wear, to find Jasper wide awake in front of the tv. He'd just give me a nod, and I'd shuffle to my room praying that this was left unsaid. He'd been confused a few times when a wayward photographer would follow us somewhere, or professors and security would give me a wide berth, or girls would run up to us chatting wildly that they couldn't believe I was actually at WSU...but he didn't voice those concerns.

There were a few situations our Junior year, some threats that culminated into an attempt on my life. A trip wire was planted at our front door that fortunately malfunctioned, creating a minor fire while the piece of shit planting it was still inside. I really woke the fuck up after that. Up until that point, I thought I could carry on balancing two separate lives similar to my father. But the more I stepped into my role, the more the line blurred between the two. _Chi cerca mal, mal trova_ , he who looks for evil generally finds it , and I was finding it in troves. It wasn't just me who was a target...it was Jazz, too. Or any guy from the team. Someone dropping off notes from a class. Or just a fucking handyman or some shit, wrong place at the wrong time. And in a split second, one turn of the door handle...it made my blood boil. We were moved immediately, my grandfather orchestrating it to look like there was a minor electrical fire. Jasper went along with it but I don't think he really bought the story.

For all I knew, he had already asked around or looked my family up online, but if that was the case, I appreciated that he never implied he knew more than he let on. I also knew that the likelihood of Jasper and I staying friends after graduation was slim. He was like a brother, and the close calls have been coming with too much increased frequency for comfort. I couldn't put him in a dangerous situation by keeping in contact with him. It wouldn't be fair to do that to a guy that had treated me like an equal instead of like some fucking pariah. When I hung with Jasper, we were just Edward and Jasper, throwing back beers and good natured insults. There was no Don. Part of me was going to miss it, but friends were an unnecessary risk. A clean break would be the best, the first of many lies in my line of work that would keep unwanted questions to a minimum.

Senior year had just begun, and I was pumping myself up mentally to step into the role I had been born into. I spent most of my evenings meeting up with my grandfather or other associates, watching intently and soaking in whatever bit of info and advice they would throw my way, and tried to spend at least one weekend a month back at home where I secretly enjoyed being fussed over by my mother. She knew I had taken part in my first hit, and though it remained unspoken between us, she treated me no differently after that evening as she watched my father toss my blood splattered clothing into the fireplace. I had been acing my classes, solid on the field, and hadn't been laid in so long that I was a total prick to almost everyone, much to Marcus' delight. The old man never missed a fucking opportunity to hit me with an "I told you so" when it came to pointing out what the structured environment did for my head as well as my sense of accountability. It was a Saturday morning in early October when I woke up just before dawn, sweating bullets and feeling a sense of something coming…something important. I couldn't remember what I had been dreaming about, so I chalked it up to some stress over midterms and decided to go for a run.

A mile turned into ten, and before I knew it, the campus was alive with its usual hustle and bustle. I grabbed a drink at a water fountain before plopping down against one of the huge oak trees in the quad, the leaves now yellow and orange but attempting to cling on for the last few weeks of fall. I took a minute to do a quick scan of the area, an important habit, and automatically spotted my five armed guys stationed around the lawn and walkways, blending in perfectly to the student body. It was a staple for every Cullen: always under the watchful eye of The Family. It was intended to provide comfort and backup, but in situations such as this, it only made it glaringly obvious that anyone close was in my blast radius. I drew my knees up and leaned my arms on them, head hanging down and attempting to slow my breathing. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck start to prickle, and jerked my head up at the sound of the most beautiful laugh I had ever heard.

Not thirty feet from me stood the most gorgeous woman...dressed casually in some black leggings and a pair of Chucks, a loose grey sweater exposing one of her delicate shoulders. She had long, chestnut locks that hung halfway down her back, the early morning sunlight exposing hints of red each time she moved her body. Each of her curves looked artfully made with me in mind, and my body reacted immediately to her perfect hips and tight ass. She was clutching a few books and a stack of notecards, and giggling conspiratorially with another girl about six inches shorter than her, face fully made up, with short chopped black hair and dressed in clothes too high-end for your typical college student. They were a mismatched set, putting me me on the defense of my dream girl, but I relaxed when the smaller girl linked her arm lovingly through her's to continue on, heads leaning towards one another's and chatting away in the direction of the underclassmen dorms. The buzzing of my phone stopped me from my open-mouthed shock, but my eyes continued to follow her until she was out of sight.

"Cullen."

"Edward! Where the hell are you, man? We're gonna head up to the stadium in a few."

I forgot the football team was home today, and we usually went all-out for the tailgating. We had a prime spot that no one dared touch, and it was generally the only time that I got to kick back and feel 'normal', whatever the hell that meant.

"Fuck. I forgot about that. I'm a few minutes away, Jazz. I'll grab a quick shower and then meet you down there." We exchanged goodbyes and I started to head towards my place. My feet moved on their own accord but my imagination was firmly stuck on the beauty from the quad. She was against the rules. She was not allowed. I knew that, but it hurt to say it. Surely, it wouldn't hurt to look at her, would it? I could stay away. She would never know. She would be safe from me. I'd be safe from losing my focus.

I was about to turn the corner near our row of apartments when I heard someone yell.

"SWAN! Hurry your ass up! You're going to that freaking game today whether you like it or not, missy! You're getting out for once!"

I looked to the left and saw my dream girl again. She was in the parking lot, and it looked like she was placing her books in the car. The smaller friend of hers was still on the sidewalk, arms crossed and tapping her foot impatiently. Swan, huh? _È meglio aver poco che niente,_ better to have little than nothing. Jesus...fate was cruel enough to have her bent over the driver's seat as if mocking me. She locked her car door and jogged back to her friend, each movement putting interesting thoughts into my head. I needed that shower immediately, and it was going to have to be damn cold. I reached for my phone and looked up the name I required. I didn't wait for a greeting before I barked my orders.

"I need some info. Name, background, contact information, where the family comes from. Every fucking thing you can get your hands on. Female, early 20s. WSU. Living on campus. Last name Swan. ASAP."

" _Detto fatto,_ No sooner said, than done, boss." _Click._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

EPOV

With a reinvigorated sense of purpose for the day, I quickly showered and threw on some jeans a baseball tee. I brushed my teeth and pitifully attempted to make peace with my unruly hair, which resulted in me grabbing one of my well-worn ball caps on my way out the door. It had only been a half hour since I returned from my run, but already I could feel a dip in the temperature. I was walking down the sidewalk with plans to keep warm on a steady supply of beer, but remembered the possibility of seeing _her_ again. No, I wanted to remember this. I needed to. Inexplicably, I needed something from dream girl to hold onto before she'd suddenly fade away. I knew I couldn't keep her, but I wanted the memory to be as clear as possible. New intentions of staying sober and alert, I veered back towards the parking lot until I reached my S60R. I took a minute to mentally psych myself up before revving the engine and making my way to the stadium lot.

As always, the spot next to Jasper's Denali pick up was empty and waiting for me. After climbing out of the car, I was starting to put my keys into my pocket when Jasper approached and shoved a bottle in front of my face. He started to greet me but I shook my head, causing him to lower the bottle and frown.

"Hey man, everything okay?" Thanks a lot, perceptive asshole.

"Eh…not really, Jazz. I feel off today. It's nothing."

He didn't look convinced. "Alright, if you say so. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" I'm pretty sure a day didn't go by in the last four years where Jasper didn't say that exact phrase to me. I guess I wasn't as good at hiding from him as I thought. I was going to miss his genuine concern. He was a good friend…I'd have to figure out a way to help him out in the future without it being traced back to me. He was studying psychology…maybe some random grant in his name. Someone nearby cranked up the music, Muse blasting through the sound system, and he turned back to the direction of our teammates who were starting to toss a football around. Fuck it. I decided to take him up on his offer for the first time ever.

"Actually…"

That did it. He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around incredulously. His eyebrows were raised in surprise, and he nodded his head once to let me know I could continue. The floodgates opened as I started to pace back and forth, ripping off my hat and pulling at my hair in frustration.

"Shit, Jazz. There was this girl today, she was talking, and her books…but then I was jogging, I swear I don't even know where hell my head was at…I woke up feeling weird this morning. Not dread but, fuck! I don't know. She's just a dream. I'm not allowed, though. Hopefully Italian…then the short girl walked away with her. Swan or swans, I don't know…but she had on these pants…"

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Dude. First off, about damn time. I always wanted to ask why you stopped dating and shit, but I didn't want to pry." He chuckled, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it of some errant thought. "Ya know, it kinda rubbed off on me before I knew it. Not that I had ass lined up down the hallway like you, but you were always so focused on school and ball, family obligations…it got to a point where I was a little envious, to be honest. You seemed so focused, and I just felt like I was wasting my time with all that bullshit, like it was time to fucking grow up. I'm pretty sure my parents love you more than me because of it." We both laughed at that. I doubt they'd consider me such a positive influence if they knew the truth. "But this dream girl? You gotta give me something more to work with, Cullen," he laughed. "Birds? Italian? Pants?"

I started to laugh, too. It sounded even crazier coming from him. I was well and truly fucked. "I don't know, Jazz. I don't know what's going on with me anymore. Maybe it is nerves after all. There's a lot riding on this year, bigger than school…I'm not sure I'm looking forward to graduation anymore. Like there's this precipice and for the first time, I haven't got a damn clue what I'm going to do to handle it."

I shuffled my feet, kicking up gravel while trying to relax and get my shit together. I sounded completely insane. I was letting a complete stranger dictate every second of this day so far, and I was so fucking afraid that I started something I wouldn't be able to put a stop to. I had never been a particularly compulsive person. I had things I enjoyed over years, sure…a few bad habits here and there that seemed to drop off almost as quickly as they had started, a bit of perfectionism when it came to my curve ball, and I couldn't deny that I was a bit of an adrenaline junkie. But this level of obsession in just a couple hours was unhealthy. I had to get my head in the game. No distractions equal no weaknesses. And it was a great plan…until I looked up.

Across the lot, standing with a group of people I didn't recognize, was dream girl…my Swan. She was in tight fitting jeans that drew attention to her long legs and an oversized WSU sweatshirt. Her gloved hands held the typical college staple – a red solo cup. The sky was cloudier than the first time I saw her, but she continued to glow in a way so ethereal that I was tempted to pinch myself to see if this moment was something I conjured in my head. She laughed loudly and often, that perfect laugh that I could pick out from the biggest of crowds. I started to smile at the sound until I saw some asshole throw an arm around her shoulder during conversation. What the fuck was he touching her for? Who the hell did that piece of shit think he is? I couldn't watch this any longer. It was making my stomach turn. I needed a distraction, and I couldn't fucking drink. Stupid fucking car. Stupid fucking Cullen. I was furious. I was lethal.

"Smith! Clearwater! Let's toss the ball around! I'm getting fucking bored!"

The two guys set their drinks down and went digging through the bed of Jasper's truck for the football while he just stood their staring at me. He was looking at me like some unknown equation, then turning his back to dream girl, then turning towards me again with a questioning look on his face. He wasn't stupid. He was putting the pieces together. Luckily, she was standing with at least a dozen other people, so even though he figured out what was responsible for my sudden shift in mood, there was no way for him to call me out on it.

"Alright man. I get it. Let's get a game going or something. Get your mind off of…whatever it is that's going on with ya'll…" he trailed off, eyes lingering on the group in question again before he made his way out in front of the rows of cars. I saw Seth jump down from the back of the truck with the ball in his hand, so I head out towards them.

The first few passes in my direction were embarrassing. I couldn't get my mind off of her, she was so unbelievably close. She and her friends were directly behind me, so I was listening intently to any sound the wind carried from the direction of their tailgate instead of paying attention to the ball flying towards my fucking face. God, I hope she wasn't watching.

God help me, I also hoped she was. I hope she couldn't keep her eyes off of me.

No…no I didn't. Because this 'thing' couldn't be a 'thing'. I was a dumbass for even entertaining the idea. I decided that I was going to focus on this sad attempt to decompress, and before I knew it we got a solid rhythm going with our tosses with an unspoken fluidity that only comes from a history as teammates. Jasper barked out a few calls, signaling that he'd be gunning for James, and then gave a strange look in my direction before changing strategy and shifting his arm towards me. I didn't know what the fuck he was doing, but the trajectory was garbage and there was no way in hell it wasn't going at least ten feet over my head. I started to back up as quickly as possible to at least get a fingertip on it, when I suddenly slammed into someone and sent them flying into the gravel. My blood ran cold; I knew who it was almost immediately. I was going to fucking kill Jasper. I knew this was intentional. I was so embarrassed...I couldn't even look at her. I clenched my teeth together and leaned over to grasp her around her arms and pull her upright as swiftly as possible. I could feel the heat of her body against mine. This was already too much. If I lingered too long, too close...I never know who is watching. It's unsafe.

Fucking promises. Fucking distractions. She would fit so perfectly against me. Why couldn't I keep her?

I tried to quickly brush her off, but that ended up being a mistake of epic fucking proportions and hilarious if it didn't make me want to cry. The simple 'brushing her off' turned to rubbing my hands down the curve of her body and making my way back up, pausing at her hip and squeezing. It took everything in me not to pull her closer against me, but I was already turning into a total creep and the mortification multiplied. I mumbled a half assed "sorry" that came out in some sort of choked garble, and jogged back to where the game was continuing. I sensed she was staring at me, but I refused to turn around. The heat began to climb up my face from the combination of frustration and anger and yearning. I removed my hat to run the back of my hand against my damp forehead, feeling chills despite my flush. It wasn't fucking fair. Was this the moment I had been anticipating? Was it this that was supposed to happen? Or was a door opened that I didn't walk through, and now the moment was gone forever? I looked down at my hands, hands of a fucking killer, of a liability, dirty from the gravel, and let them fall back against my legs in defeat. I don't think I had ever experienced genuine sadness before, and I didn't like the fucking feeling.

When the game ended and fans started to flood their way back into the parking lots, I helped pack all our shit into Jasper's truck before I climbed in my car and pulled out my phone. 5 missed calls, mostly from Jenks, 1 voicemail. I scrolled through the call list, not seeing anything particularly interesting other than one from a number I didn't recognize. I decided to listen to the message before giving him a call back.

 _"_ _Hey Eddie, it's Tanya. It's been awhile...your grandfather said you're at WSU. I'm in Seattle…maybe we could meet up for old time's sake? Give me a call."_

Ugh. Tanya. The daughter of a family associate, she was my first regular fuck buddy. I knew I could toss her aside whenever I damn well pleased, and there was nothing she should could do about it for fear of upsetting a Cullen. If the term 'ridden hard and put away wet' had a mascot, it was Tanya fucking Denali. I hadn't seen her since high school, and was all the better for it. Since then, I'd heard that she had developed quite the substantial coke problem, a lot of debt, and had handed out enough 'favors' to satisfy the two that I don't think a number of condoms existed on this fucking planet to make her safe to touch. I'm sure Marcus had a nice laugh at my expense when he passed along my info. He knew she was a mess, but he had been increasingly hinting that a good Don had a wife by his side. I guess the quality of said wife was inconsequential. I'm sure there was something in it for him that I wasn't privy to, like his idea of a bad fucking joke, since she'd be the least respectable female by a wide margin to represent our family. I deleted the message and made a mental note to have Jenks block all forms of communication from her after we dealt with more pressing matters.

"Jenks. What have you got?" I heard the rustling of papers, and then a quick succession of typing.

"Mr. Cullen, I found her quite easily. Clean, second year at WSU, ahead in her courses and well on track to graduate with honors from the English program. Lives with an Alice Whitlock, fourth floor, room 1402 in the Olympia Avenue complex; I'll forward all their contact info your way. From Forks, Washington. The daughter of a police chief and a creative writing teacher. Moderate savings, no family debt other than one of their vehicles and a mortgage that's nearly complete. A reasonable pension from the FPD and comfortable 401K from the Missus. No records for them either, no connections to known associates. Your standard, run-of-the-mill college student."

"Her name, Jenks? What's her name?"

"Isabella, sir. Isabella Marie."

 _Isabella Marie. Isabella Swan. My mia bella._ How fitting, how absolutely perfect. Wait…'Isabella'…

"Jenks…Italian? Where's the family from?" I demanded, unable to mask my excitement.

"Absolutely, sir. Renee Swan: basic European-American melting pot, belongs to a local Eastern Orthodox congregation but no dominant lineage to trace consistently. Charles Swan: second generation American, non-practicing Catholic, both sides of his family hailing from Sicily."

There was no holding back my obsession now. All desire for my dream girl, _my Isabella_ , came rushing forward full-force. She was now a possibility. I started to let my mind wander…if I could find some way to keep her safe, if I could get close enough to her to just explain, I'm sure she'd understand. What Sicilian doesn't know the Cosa Nostra? She'd find true pride in it, belonging, respect. We're men of honor. I'd keep her on a pedestal by my side. I'm positive that in time, she'd surely feel just as strongly as I do. Of course my parents would approve…they loved anything that made me happy. And grandfather couldn't object to her blood line. I suppose she didn't bring a name that carried any weight, and sure her father was a cop but…

Ugh. Be real, Cullen. He wasn't just 'a cop'. He was THE cop. The damn chief. And he was completely clean, one of those few and far between most commonly found in small towns that actually try to 'make a difference', whatever the fuck that means. Naiveté is what it is. But there's no way in hell that he'd allow his only child to be caught up with a Mafioso. I'd have to get her far enough away from them to sever any ties. She'd be pampered, and cherished. She'd want for nothing. She could be happy with me.

"Mr. Cullen? Are you still there."

Leave it to Jenks to piss me off. He always dealt with the brunt of my anger, and admittedly it was no fault of his own. But I didn't have to apologize. It wasn't what I did.

"That will be all, Jenks."

Despite my reinvigorated sense of hope, my relationship with Isabella never went past the fantasy stage though I spent the remainder of the year trying to figure out ways to approach her. I was afraid to drag her into the line of fire, afraid to promise her something that I couldn't guarantee. I had a few men of mine keep an eye on her. Just to keep her safe, I told myself. And at first, that was their true purpose. But the more desperate I became, the more often I was checking in on her whereabouts, what company she was keeping, what type of mood she appeared to be in. Did she look healthy? Was she laughing? Did someone piss her off, and if so, where do they live? Mafiosi knew well enough to keep their fucking mouths shut or they'd face some serious consequences, but there were a couple times when I caught myself asking yet another question about how she spent her day that I wondered what was going through their minds.

The more I learned her routine, the more I found myself gravitating towards it. If I was across campus each Monday and Wednesday when she was leaving her public speaking class, I was running a full sprint to make it to the outside of the building just in time to brush past her in the entranceway. Each time, my heart beating so loudly that even if she did acknowledge me, I'm not sure I would have heard her. And each time, I looked at her face, her perfect pout, silently begging for her eyes to meet mine. But they never did. I would find out what parties she was hitting up, trying to build up the courage to ask her to dance, or just pull her in my arms and drag her away from all this shit. But my voice would get caught in my throat and the opportunity would pass me by yet again.

Alright Cullen. Now you're really sounding like a fucking creep.

By May, I was living each day miserably, but Jasper never let my mood bring him down. He was pumped up for graduation, making plans for our future that added to my self-loathing. I pissed away an entire fucking year's worth of opportunities to get the dream girl, and now my time had run out for good. And here was Jazz, chatting away in his signature drawl, so excited about the unknown and all the possibilities. I wish I could tell him there had never been an unknown for me. My life was mapped out from the moment Carlisle heard "It's a boy!", sealed with the trail of bodies I dilligently left behind for disposal in our waterfront warehouse over the course of the last semester. I hoped Jasper would never waste an opportunity to do whatever the hell he pleased, find his own dream girl, make his own way. Freedom is a gift, a life without expectations and complications where I, unavoidably, seemed to be already drowning in mine.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

EPOV

Graduation came and went, pride on my parents' faces marred by a look of regret. I knew they loved The Family, but over the years I had picked up enough bits and pieces of conversations intended to be private that indicated they wished I could have had a different future ahead of me. It was my first week home after I finished up at WSU, still unsure of my next move, when I had overheard my dad speaking with my mother in hushed tones through his office door left ajar. He regretted not taking up the mantle from my grandfather, that perhaps he could have saved me from this way of life. But my mother, always the cornerstone of the household, reminded him gently and with understanding that if it weren't his son, it'd be his grandson. It was tradition. It was the responsibility of the Cullen men. It was my birthright. The only thing they could do was pray they raised me into an honorable man.

Days like today always forced me to relive that memory. Nearly 30 years old now, and each sunrise seemed to flow into the night, melting slowly without purpose until they became years, each one the same as the last. I did everything with the Cosa Nostra in mind, everything fucking robotic, everything for a very specific reason though I didn't always know what it was.

I didn't feel like such an honorable man today.

I shifted my gun from hand to hand, barrel still slightly warm, tracing my fingers along the inscription etched onto the handle. _Un bel morir tutta la vita onora_ , "A noble death is an honor to the whole life." Today was particularly gruesome, and I hoped my decisions were going to bring a time of reprieve instead of starting a deadly chain reaction.

Not long ago, a small east coast crime syndicate came under some intense scrutiny from Congress. It's not something we tend to follow too closely; each major family has their territory, and it's remained pretty much unchanged for the last century. Many of us do business together in our "legitimate" lines of work, and there's been nothing but benefits all around when everyone has a certain level of respect and understanding. It's these newer guys that don't get how the machine works, thinking that they're gonna stroll in and take over a bunch of shit, forcing us to step forward and sort through the shit storm to keep any focus off of us.

Apparently this newer family had a few state positions in their pocket, including their Governor and a couple senators - a normalcy and necessary expense in our line of work. A recent election, their guy unopposed, didn't go so fucking smoothly when that asshole, with an impending win practically served to him on a silver fucking platter, was caught snorting coke off the ass of a prostitute young enough to be his granddaughter. There isn't enough coin to take care of a problem like that once it gets out, and we've all taken our knocks over the years and have learned the hard way that the only way to contain a fire that size is to separate yourself immediately. And it better be as far away as fucking possible, so far away that any questions asked about a possible connection seem laughable.

But this family, I guess they were especially green when it came to the scandals that pop up once in awhile, an unavoidable risk when you've got your fingers in all sorts of pies. No back up plan, running out of cash for bribes, too late to follow through on some threats, no desire to cut and run. Too much pride, or maybe a simple lack of fucking brains. In a natural progression of the bureaucratic machine, everyone moved up a step on the ladder. Queue the young do-gooder: someone lacked the foresight, a rookie mistake in this business, and he somehow slipped through the cracks in the payroll. He was untouchable at that point with too many eyes on him and too many public declarations on soapboxes already made. He brought in his own guys who started sifting through the books. Some red ink that mysteriously turned into the black, a few cleared bank checks from dummy accounts, and nearly overnight there were national headlines crying foul about organized crime's comeback. I don't know where the hell they thought we had gone, but I guess for most people ignorance is fucking bliss.

We didn't have any connections to them, but one or two of the older families did. We had offered some clean up assistance if they needed it, which was just the decent thing to do in a situation like this where we're all shaking our collective heads. Word got around that they had made their way to our area, tail tucked firmly between their legs but fucking hungry. So it was no surprise when out of nowhere, my arms shipments started getting jacked. There were a few random break-ins, which had seemed unrelated at the time, in some storage units we had on the waterfront. One evening developed into the perfect storm when a few of my Mafiosi happened to be heading over there to grab cases of ammo only to find a couple masked guys exiting one of the units. Alerting Jenks via a small button we have installed on all of our watches and phones, backup swarmed the marina and caught the guys in the act of dumping accelerant on the outside of one of my warehouses. I'm not sure what purpose it was meant to serve, since that one stood empty unless we needed to try 'convincing' someone to give us information, but maybe they wanted to send a message.

Dragged into that very warehouse, strapped to a chair for a few days, and then meeting the wrong end of McCarty's hunting knife before being dumped in an alley sent a good fucking message if you ask me. _Morta la bestia, morto il veneno, w_ hen the beast is dead, the venom is dead. The intel was right: the east coast had come to Seattle.

We made sure word got out that the Cullens weren't fucking around, and waited for the recourse, _tempo al tempo,_ all in good time, But it never came. Six months passed...seven. Things were business as usual once again, and despite the weird feeling that I was missing a huge part of the puzzle, there was never anything concrete to legitimize my concerns.

Then we suddenly got hit again, and again...each time with casualties but no real purpose. It felt personal, but all the guys we had inside other organizations were coming up blank. Why now? Where had they gone? What were they waiting for? None of it made any sense, especially when these guys operated like they had nothing to lose, no real endgame. My father and grandfather expressed some worry about the entire situation, saying that the most dangerous men were the ones with nothing, desperate and at rope's end, but I couldn't disagree more. The conversation turned into a full blown fight almost immediately. The most dangerous man is the one who has everything to lose, I had passionately argued, because he's prepared to go down in a fucking fiery inferno to keep what's most precious to him safe, his own life be damned. Marcus, as usual, thought I was out of my mind.

"Know thine enemy, Edward! They're weak, so they strike. They're desperate. What the hell have you got to fight for? What is precious to you? The Family? We all put our lives on the line for that. You're no different than anyone else. Don't let your pride get in the way of your decision making. You don't know of which you speak. _Ogni pazzo vuol dar consiglio_ , every fool is ready with advice. Use your head, boy."

Of course, I did have something to fight for.

Of course, I hadn't meant The Family.

 _Isabella._

My love, my life. The dream.

Everything I did, every sacrifice I made was with her in mind.

I had watched her during her last two years of college out of some morbid curiosity. As a distraction and in denial, I fed into my obsession and decided to make plans for my life with the assumption that she'd somehow be a part of it. I remodeled a penthouse in one of the high rises we owned downtown, guessing what color combinations she'd prefer, fabrics, if she'd like marble or granite. I imagined where she might stand during the evenings we spent side by side in the kitchen, what side of the bed she'd gravitate to, how many surfaces I would take her on, the hours we'd spend whispering our hopes and fears under the warmth and safety of covers, away from this burden. I picked up cooking lessons under my mother's watchful eye, wondering if it'd gain Isabella's approval. And while I was stuck in this imaginary bubble with a woman I had no claim to, she continued on, unaware of my devotion, splintering my heart into a million pieces. Seeing her live her life without me was the worst pain I could imagine, but I welcomed it. The pain meant she was real, she was safe, that she existed in this universe, that maybe she was untouchable right now, but in the future… _Speranza mi da vita,_ the hope gives me life.

But the future never came. Once my grandfather stepped down officially as Don and I took my blood oath, the danger in my life multiplied tenfold. I couldn't bear to bring her into this, I could not avoid the truth any longer.

I wasn't good enough for her.

But time and loneliness started to wear me down. I was selfish, and I wanted her. I wanted her so fucking bad. It didn't matter how many women threw themselves at me, or Marcus turning up the heat about my duty to 'settle down', that I was the last of the blood line. Everyone wanted a piece of the Mafioso, to be close to me, to think that I would want them in return. I might have tried to be blind to it or to numb the pain, but I was still reminded that I was alone. Eyes only for my dream girl, the dream that didn't know I existed.

As usual, comments from my grandfather were grinding me down during one of our Sunday morning brunches at my parents' estate. Finding it increasingly difficult to bite my tongue, I picked up my dad's discarded newspaper to skim over the headline and a few of the more interesting bylines. The bottom corner held a small blurb: 'Fashion Powerhouse Opens Second Seattle Location', but it was the picture accompanying it that caused my pulse to race. Smiling in front of a brick and mortar storefront, arm wrapped around her friend, tempting as ever. _Isabella_.

I was hypnotized, and hadn't noticed that my mother was addressing me. She peeked over my shoulder to see what had captured my interest, and tried to snatch the paper from my hand. I held on tight in an awkward tug of war.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! I never thought I'd see the day!" she squealed, a face full of excitement and, was that hope? "You know those girls, don't you!?"

Embarrassed, I relinquished my hold and ran my hand through my hair, settling on the back of my neck and rubbing nervously. The head of the fucking Mob, and a newspaper reduces me to a pathetic mass of nervousness. Fuck this newspaper. I'll have the publisher burnt to the fucking ground.

Actually, on second thought, maybe that's not a good idea. I'm pretty sure we own this one.

"Uh…sort of. I went to WSU with Bella, with...them. They were a couple years younger than me."

"You know Alice and Bella?! They're amazing! I think I own AWD's spring line in entirety...it's _bravissimo_ , exceedingly well done . What I would have give to get my hands on that account, but I heard Black Constructors swooped in to do the rehab and the design before anyone else had a chance to bid. Rumor has it they've got another big project in mind. Have you kept in touch with them? I'd love to meet them."

That was a loaded question. Already, my mother had unknowingly given me the type of information that I had avoided when trying to reign myself in. I now had her business name, what she was doing, where in the city she frequented. It was information that I hadn't wanted to know, but now that I had it, I was hungry for more. I had still been keeping up with her here and there over the years, but finally forced myself to back off. I ordered Jenks to only feed me the info that was vague enough to provide me comfort but not potentially add to the heartache. I knew if I had heard she was so damn close, or worse, with another man... I'd have his fucking head blown off. It was better to keep my distance. My grandfather rose from his seat, also interested in the page.

"That's what a woman looks like with a good head on her shoulders, boy. That's what you need, what this family's future needs. Smart, money of her own so you know she's not trying to get her fucking hands on what isn't hers, a nice little body to warm the bed…" I stood up suddenly, feeling anger heat my face as I pointed my finger at my grandfather, a smug look on his face as if in challenge.

"Not her. Don't you dare fucking say that about her. Don't even fucking look at her. She's too good for this."

Without excusing myself, I stomped out the back door and into the vast garden, weaving through the flowers and sculptures before dropping down unceremoniously on a stone bench. I couldn't breathe. I could shoot that old motherfucker. I started to rub angrily at my chest. Everything was closing in on me. Fuck. I think I was having a fucking heart attack. How fucking appropriate.

I heard the light footsteps, cautious but determined, before my mother emerged from the side of a neatly trimmed evergreen. She walked up to my side, sitting down carefully but with the grace I had always known her to have before placing her arms around me in comfort. I wanted to sob. Money and power, and I was a fucking mess.

"It's okay, honey. Everything will be alright. Take a deep breath. Tell me what that was all about."

I tried to slow my breathing and find focus on anything but _her._ Several minutes passed, no concept of knowing how many and no reason to care. The pain started to dissipate before it faded back into the dull ache that was always present since that one October morning years ago.

"I…I'm not sure I can talk about it. Just, seeing that damn picture…I don't know. I feel too much. It hurts so bad. You must think I'm…"

"Shh. I must think nothing! You may be strong in front of your father and Marcus, and God knows you have to be tough in front of the rest of the world, but with me, you're my baby, my only son. When you're troubled, I'm troubled. You don't want to talk about it? Fine. That's perfectly fine. _I gran dolori sono muti_ , great sorrows are mute. But Edward, you are too amazing not to have someone share these burdens with you. It's why he wants you to settle down, you know...to find what he had with your Grandmother, God rest her soul. This business will eat you alive if you go it alone. _Mal comune, mezzo gaudio_ , a shared trouble is half joy. I can make a few guesses at what just transpired between you and your grandfather, but I'm smart enough to know that there's much more going on than you just recognizing a few university acquaintances."

"I'm sorry, I can't…". She nodded in understanding.

"'You know your grandfather, Edward. You know he's a good man. You know him well enough to know that he was testing you, pushing your buttons. You obviously care for someone in that photo. He's curious to know how much. The moment you left the house, he seemed pleased but cautious. He demanded your father tell him who she was, how long had you been in love, where she came from. He's going to look into these women, you know. It's going to draw some attention. I know you're upset, and you don't have to answer any of my questions. But you're going to have to start asking some questions of your own. What exactly does she mean to you? What do you want with her? Because I don't want to be harsh, honey, but you know how it works with us. Once she's in, she has to stay in. You know what happens to people that try to leave The Family."

I couldn't bear to consider the alternative. All these years, I had stayed away because I wanted to keep her safe. But it was all for nothing. I had already brought her into the crosshairs, and she had no idea. She may have been in only minimal danger because of my interest before, but add my grandfather's guys watching her, looking into her past? Potentially my father as well? The entire top of the Italian Mob's chain of command focused on one unknown woman is bound to raise some red flags. Rivals would take notice. Things like that don't just go unchecked. All weaknesses are exposed and used for leverage. I could feel my pulse start to speed up again, a rush of lightheadedness at its heels. My mother just continued rubbing soothing circles on my back for several more minutes until with a light squeeze on my shoulder, she stood from the bench and made her way back towards the house.

Mom was right, of course. She always was. I wanted Isabella - I always had. Could I protect her? I couldn't guarantee that. But I know that I would die for her, and that's the best protection I can give. I tried to look at a positive side to this, besides the fact that Isabella would finally be mine. Grandfather wanted me to settle down, produce an heir so The Family could continue on. My parents always stressed the value of a good marriage, one that was a partnership, where one's weaknesses were the other's strengths. I wasn't getting any younger. I'd known for years that Isabella was smart, gorgeous, good humored, loyal, hard working, and most importantly…Italian. No matter how much I tried to convince myself, the million dollar fucking question hadn't changed: could I keep her safe?

 _"Once she's in, she has to stay in."_ She'd be one of us. She'd be family. For the first time ever, I allowed myself to consider the possibility: maybe she'd be safer _with_ me than without.

I would be unstoppable. No one would dare to touch her.

I _am_ dangerous. I _do_ have something to lose. That's what made me different, what made me strong. It was time to embrace it.

I picked up the phone and dialed Jenks.

"Boss?"

"Isabella Swan. Where is she? Where's she going to be? Find out."

"Sir? _Di nuovo,_ again?"

"NOW."

"Y-y-yes Sir, Mr. Cullen."

I disconnected and kept my phone in my hands, twirling it between my fingers in thought, waiting for him to return my call. My confidence was returning full-force, but genuine for the first time in years. My plans began to take shape. I'd tell my mother to extend a few invitations to AWD for some hospital fundraisers that I usually attend. I could find out where she shopped, what days she was in the office, how she took her fucking coffee.

 _Necessitа non ha legge_ , necessity knows no law.

Wherever she was going to be, I was going to be there, too. Whatever she wanted, I was going to provide it. She wouldn't be able to remember a day where I wasn't by her side, and I was ready for that elusive future I had always dreamed of that seemed so out of reach.

The future was coming for _mia bella,_ whether she was ready for it or not.

Right fucking now.


	8. Chapter 8

_**AN -**_ Again, everyone has been so kind, so I want to say thank you very much. It meant someone was reading what I've got going on here and were into it enough to say something. That's pretty cool. It made me rethink the hundreds of fics I've read...I don't think I ever reviewed any, and now I'm resolved to go back and do so. I have to give a shout out to a few special ladies who rec'd me on Facebook and God knows where else. I saw a couple of them (I'm on fb under my 'RL' name so I know you don't have a clue how much I appreciate it), but just so you know, the RL me did, in fact, 'like' what you said :) PM me some rec groups, please! I'm always looking for new reading material and a place to talk about it!

This is a long story. I'm sorry that I didn't jump into the lemons off the bat...it seemed unnatural to. It's already a pretty far-fetched (it IS fanfic, after all!) concept if you think about it...instant attraction, obsession, wrap that all up in a neat little mafia bow. They're getting their bearings...don't worry, the citrus is coming. I don't want to go into much more than that in regards to their personalities/secrets/direction because SPOILERS!, but I'm strictly HEA in my preferences. I will say that _all_ the characters have more going on that meets the eye.

And the anon review who said my paragraphs were too long for devices...I apologize. I type this on word and then edit on my iPad, and it's the regular site, so I have actually never seen ffn mobile. I have a terrible habit of typing like I think and talk, I've found. I'll try to break up some of the type as I continue to edit, but thanks for the feedback.

Lastly, this was a little bit of a slow burn so far, I know, and not much dialogue. Now we're present day and about to get this party started Xx

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 _ **Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

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BPOV

I slowly unwrapped myself from Edward, hesitant to end the contact that I had dreamt of for so long. So many years had gone by since I first saw him, and while life went on in his absence, I now wondered if I had unknowingly sabotaged my potential for romance the entire span of it. I'm pained to let him go, but I need time. Is this too good to be true? Is everything they say about him true? Is he dangerous? Who is he? Why does he want me?

I was scared, and I wasn't going to reach any level of clarity in this city, not with temptation at my fingertips. The sound of a throat clearing caused me to try to jerk suddenly away from Edward to find an amused Esme, eyes darting between the two of our faces, but he didn't relinquish his hold.

"Bella! I'm so sorry to be late. I ran into a bit of traffic. I'd apologize for being entirely unprofessional," she said with a smirk, "but _dio_ _non_ _voglia_ , heaven forbid then I'd have to acknowledge that you're holding my wayward son."

My face flushed red with embarrassment. Alice would be so disappointed if I didn't salvage this meeting immediately. Business first. This is why you make the big bucks. Prioritize, Bella! With a final push, I untangled myself from his arms, nervously smoothing the wrinkles out of my dress.

"Esme, it's wonderful to finally meet you in person. Alice and I are so impressed with your work and have heard nothing but stellar reviews. It was at her insistence that I get into contact with you after she held a show on Rainier. We had the pleasure of viewing some of your models and prints displayed at the Metro Museum of Architecture."

Way to go, Bella. Focus on a safe topic, keep it together, stay in command. I walked over to my bag, gathering my things before spreading them out on the spacious table. I could feel Edward's stare but was afraid to look up at him.

"Thank you, Bella. I have to admit that I've been looking forward to this meeting for quite some time." Her words were careful, like they held a hidden meaning. Edward stepped forward then, wrapping one arm around my shoulders.

"Isabella, please allow me to formally introduce you to my mother, Esme Cullen. Mom, this is my Isabella."

I gulped. I urgently needed to take control of this afternoon before it went into a direction that I wasn't ready for. I shrugged back out of Edward's grasp, gathering my thoughts to steer this conversation back onto its intended path.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen. It was a pleasure seeing you again. That will be all." I said dismissively with a flick of my hand. His jaw dropped before turning into a grin. Esme belted out a laugh.

"I think we're going to work perfectly together, Bella. Edward, I'll speak with you later. Give your father a call on your way out."

Esme's orders held no room for negotiation, showing me that the Cullen apple didn't fall far from the tree. Edward leaned over to place a kiss on my cheek before walking over to his mother to do the same. He was nearly to the doorway when he stopped and turned towards me, eyes set firmly on mine.

"Isabella."

I opened my mouth to speak, but settled for nodding slowly, a last-ditch effort to memorize the vivid green of his eyes, the shape of his lips, the angle of his jaw. I cleared my throat, trying to give some semblance of confidence.

"Edward."

He left swiftly without another word. I wrung my hands together, feeling bereft and shivering despite the fire burning nearby. Esme and I both took a few minutes to organize our paperwork before sitting side by side at the table, blueprints unrolled on the tabletop before us. A waiter made his way in a few minutes later, holding a tray full of baked goods and an Italian coffee press. I took a moment to pour the rich, hot liquid into the oversized white mug, wrapping my hands around it to soak in some of the warmth.

"So Bella, tell me a little about yourself before we get started. Let's make sure we're a good fit."

"I'm not a big fan of talking about myself, but I do love talking about what we've accomplished at AWD. Alice and I have been friends since we were teenagers, and not much has changed. We have the same core beliefs and it's translated well in business. I know most people recommend that friends and family not work together, but it couldn't be more incorrect with Alice and I, and she's certainly family."

Esme took out a legal pad and made a few notes before giving me a warm smile. "Sometimes there isn't a better business relationship than a family one. I have extensive experience in family businesses and I feel very strongly that maintaining a successful one is a good measure of a person's character."

"Absolutely, Esme. Our friendship comes first, no matter what, and the comfortable business relationship has its effects on every facet, whether we've been working with magazines, fashion shows, personal stylists, or in this case, looking to expand. It definitely helps us see eye to eye and anticipate the needs and goals of one another. We know what we want when it comes to the bare bones of this new venture: the day to day operations, the fittings, the tailoring, retail sales all under one roof. We're hoping you can fill in everything between the lines. We want a clean space that feels high-end, but still offers a sense of comfort that will carry over through the whole facility. And we're hoping you feel as strongly as we do about keeping as much of the original architecture in the building as possible."

Esme and I spent the next hour going over our different ideas for the fashion house. I'm not sure that a designer could be any more in-sync with their client than she was with AWD. I was confident that I didn't need any input from Alice to act on my decision; I'm responsible for these types of things for a reason, and it hasn't steered us wrong yet.

Construction and permit plans ironed out, contracts signed, the ink hardly dry, Esme picked up her phone and quickly typed out a message before setting it back into her purse. Not two minutes later, a man wearing a black suit walked in quietly, handing Esme a bottle of expensive champagne and two flutes. She nodded before he promptly turned and left, and gave me a wink.

"I think this calls for a celebration. I knew we'd be needing these." She tapped a manicured nail to her temple. "Cullen intuition's never wrong."

I laughed at her excitement over the prospects, the giddiness contagious and an adrenaline high from the prospects of the future. "My intuition isn't, either. Alice always says that's why I'm the brains!"

Laughing, Esme wiped a few wayward tears from the corners of her eyes. "Bella, I think you were meant to be a Cullen!"

I shook my head at her joke, choosing not to touch that subject, flashes of Edward at the forefront of my mind. Cork popped, she poured us each a glass, and I couldn't help but laugh again as mine slightly overflowed. "Esme, I can honestly say that I've never considered drinking champagne at a coffee shop, and I don't know if I should be worried or impressed that you keep liquor on-call." We each took a sip before dissolving into another fit of giggles.

"I think a little of both, Bella. Just my attempt to welcome you into the Cullen family."

I choked on my drink, coughing loudly while setting it down with shaky hands. "I…uh…it's not what you…"

"Bella, I quite honestly have no idea what you mean," Esme said a little too innocently, giving me the type of side-eye that I think all mothers naturally possess to make it clear that you're not fooling anyone. "Cullen Incorporated strives to welcome all new clients warmly into the fold."

"Of course, Esme. And AWD is excited to move forward with this new chapter." We clinked glasses and I took another sip, thinking absently about the layout of our new office when my phone chirped with a message from Alice.

 _"Bella! I haven't heard from you, so I'm assuming that means we're officially a go with Esme at the helm! We've got to celebrate! Don't forget that you're supposed to meet Rose at the office at 1. XOXO"_ I clicked back to my home screen to see it was already 12:47. Shit.

"Esme, I'm so sorry to cut this short, but I have another appointment this afternoon. I'll finish up this contract and have Victoria fax it to your office on Monday."

"Yes, of course. I should have a rough idea of the permits we'll need to file by midweek. Again, this was lovely Bella. I can see this is going to be a very long and mutually prosperous relationship. We have to get together sometime soon. Maybe dinner at my home?" she paused, studying my face. "Don't try running off on us now that we've finally got you."

Well, that's…an odd thing to say. Am I that transparent? Freaking figures.

It seemed like she'd been hinting at Edward the entire meeting, but maybe my imagination was getting the best of me once again. It had a way of doing that when he was the subject. I've been paranoid all week and the lack of sleep coupled with champagne isn't helping. Trying to convince myself that she's simply referring to our new partnership, I settled for smiling and a nod, ready to clear my head of this weirdness. She gave me a quick hug before I gathered my things and made my way back through the front of the café. A blast of cool wind hit me at the curb before I steadied myself and raised my arm to hail a cab.

"Miss Swan."

I turned quickly to the unfamiliar voice. It was one of the men from Rosalie's...the one who confiscated the phone in the cafe.

He stood about Edward's height, with dark curly hair and the build of a linebacker. He motioned his hand towards a dark tinted black sedan parked directly in front of the restaurant.

"Mr. Cullen insists."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

I looked at my surroundings, fear trickling down my spine. There were a few passersby on the other side of the avenue, but not many pedestrians on my part of the street. Opposite directions yielded no sign of the harsh yellow color of a taxi, and I needed to get back to the office as fast as possible. 'Stranger Danger' had been the first lesson imparted on this cop's daughter, but then again, everyone knew where I had been and who I was with. It wouldn't be difficult to put the pieces together. The idea made me cringe, and my dad would wring my neck at even considering it, but I wanted to make good on my plans as quickly as possible, and the back of my mind held some small desire to do whatever the hell Edward wanted of me.

I was really trying to ignore that.

"Well by all means, if Mr. Cullen fucking insists," I huffed, following the man to the car. He chuckled and opened the back door for me, taking my bag before I was settled into the plush, cool leather seats and handing it to me. He shut my door gently before making his way behind the steering wheel.

Once his seatbelt was fastened, he adjusted the rearview mirror and stared silently at me, the car idling.

"Uh…do you need something?" He laughed, motioning towards the windshield.

"Perhaps a destination would not be an unreasonable request?"

I flushed, embarrassed to have been a bitch to this man who was clearly nothing more than an employee following orders, undeserving of my wrath despite my frustration with his superior.

"I'm so sorry, you're right. Mister…"

"McCarty. Emmett McCarty."

"Oookay, Emmett McCarty. I'm heading to my office. It's…"

"No need. I know exactly where it is. Buckle up. I'm tasked to keep you safe at all costs, or the boss will have my head."

I strapped myself into the seat, holding my bag close and feeling queasy about once again finding myself in a situation where Edward has the upper hand. I already have the distinct impression that it's par for the course in his world. Emmett eased into traffic, magically hitting nothing but green lights and pulling up to the reserved parking at AWD in record time. I was unbuckling my seat belt when my door was yanked open, Emmett standing expectantly with his hand extended to assist me. I climbed out of my car, and was half way to the entrance when I turned to say thanks, only to find him directly behind me.

"Emmett. Mr. McCarty. Thank you for the ride, I appreciate it. I'll be taking a taxi home."

"Oh, you misunderstood, Ms. Swan. I am to escort you into your office as well. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Orders from…"

"Yes, yes, orders from your boss. Orders from Mr. Cullen. Gotcha. Whatever." My anger was rising now, no attempts to hide my frustration from Emmett any longer. I stomped into the front door, finding Rose and our receptionist Victoria chatting amicably.

"Rose! I'm glad we could meet here. Sorry to be cutting it so close. My last appointment ran a bit later than I had intended."

Victoria sent a small wave my way while she walked off with an armful of manila folders towards our storage room, Rose stepping forward to give me a friendly hug. I moved to lead her into my office when I noticed that Emmett was still standing in the lobby, blatantly eyeing up Rose.

"Mr. McCarty, you may leave now. Thank you again for your assistance."

"Actually, Miss Swan, like I explained in the car, my orders explicitly state that I am to keep you safe at all costs."

"Yes, Emmett. Your driving skills were exemplary. I'm not really sure what the hell that has to do with anything else."

Rose moved herself between us, putting up her hands in an effort at peacekeeping. "Mr. McCarty, is it? As you can see, Bella's a smart, successful woman. So whatever sense of duty you have, I don't give a shit. If she says it's misplaced and unwanted, I suggest you start hauling ass back to wherever you came from."

I appreciated Rose having my back, even if it was unnecessary. This Emmett guy, he was huge and probably tried very hard to be intimidating with his black suits and the impressive skill of annoying the hell out of me, but he really just came off as all bark, no bite. He had dimples! Who the hell even has dimples? Is that even a real thing? I was about to reiterate her tirade when I noticed that they weren't paying attention to me anymore. The two of them walked towards our seating area and made themselves comfortable on a sofa, Rose giggling in a way that made me roll my eyes. But with Emmett distracted sufficiently…

I leaned against Victoria's desk nonchalantly, pretending to admire my nail polish. "Hey Em!"

His head popped up, a grin on his face.

"Miss Swan?"

"What, exactly, did Mr. Cullen instruct you to do?"

He gulped, eyes darting quickly over to Rose before back to me. This was pretty funny. I think he thought he was in some sort of trouble, like I was going to report back to Edward or some shit. Definitely no bite...at least with Rose sitting that close to him. The plan started to take shape now that giving him the slip seemed doable.

"I am to drive you wherever you wish, escort you whenever it's required, and to be at your disposal." Damn. There went that idea.

"So you…what? Clock out or something after this?"

"No…those weren't the instructions for today. Those were the instructions until further notice."

Further notice? Is he fucking kidding me? He got me my own babysitter? How damn romantic. This Edward was really starting to mess up that awesome thing figment Edward and I had going for us. Maybe keeping Edward away from me fell under the "keep Bella safe at all costs" parameters? I bet that request would make Emmett's fucking head explode.

Rose excused herself from Emmett and came walking over to me and grabbed my arm to pull me through the closest doorway. She moved her hand absentmindedly against the wall until she found the switch, flicking it on and bathing the conference room in harsh light, and then softly closed the door.

"Bella. No bullshit. Something weird went down with Edward Cullen in my shop the other day, but I didn't think anything of it because I didn't hear much and I knew it wasn't my business. Then you come in here with a fucking henchman, and I hear the name Edward Cullen thrown back and forth…I've heard the rumors, it doesn't take a damn rocket scientist to figure this shit out. I know we just met, Bella. But a friend of Jasper's is always friend of mine, and I happen to know for a fact that you're basically family. Is there something I should be concerned with? Do you need my help? Should I call someone or some shit? Do you want me to call Jazz?"

"Rose…thanks, but everything is just fine. Everything is going to work out just fine." I needed her to distract Emmett, not worry about me. Think, Bella. Think! I wagged my eyebrows. "Seriously though, Rose. Let's talk about you! What's going on out there with my new pal McCarty?"

She smiled, potential fire sufficiently snuffed, and giggled her way through a few adjectives describing just what she might do to him and how. But I was busy making my own plans, going through my mental checklist of what I needed to pack and what loose ends needed to be wrapped up. Alice was going to freak.

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door, Emmett popping his head in with a smile. "Mr. Cullen just called to see what you were doing. I…um…God help me…" he nervously rubbed at his face before propping the door open, then walked inside and sat on the corner of the table with his arms crossed.

"I kinda feel bad about this whole thing, okay? You seem like a nice girl. I just made up some shit, said you were ill and staying in tonight, which he will fucking shoot me for, by the way. But I just want to let you know that I'm not an idiot. You're obvious and terrible at keeping secrets and it wouldn't be right if I didn't give you a fair warning," he leaned forward and lowered his face to my level, looking me straight in the eye and speaking in a hushed, serious tone.

"If you've got something up your sleeve, something that might upset my boss, you may want to reconsider. He's a pretty…determined guy. I've known him for a long time. I don't want you to tell me any details and shit, because I don't want to have to lie to him any more than I already have, _capische_? All I'm sayin' is, if you've got your mind set on whatever the hell it is that you've got cooking up there, you better cross all your T's and dot your fucking I's."

Not that I was taking some probably-mobster slash babysitter's advice as the final word in my winning plan, codenamed 'BELLA RUNS LIKE HELL', but he did make a good point. Other than thinking about what clothing to pack, flight to purchase, and to not forget my damn phone charger like I usually do, I hadn't taken time to consider exactly what I was going to do after I successfully completed said running. I wasn't sure if Edward was a danger to me, or if my obsession re-emerging _was_ the danger, and yet here I was going to do everything half-assed. My plan was to go up to my parents and lay low for a few weeks, maybe a month. Long enough for Edward to move onto the next unsuspecting victim while I went back to the arms of Fantasy Edward, the one who could do no wrong. He was a good guy. I knew all his secrets. He kept my head straight. Sort of. Kind of.

Sorta, kinda straight in the way that only an imaginary lover can.

"Emmett, I promise I'll be a little smarter about the plan-that-shall-not-be-named, okay? You have my word. You have nothing to worry about, though. And if you'd please, I do have a few things to discuss with Rose regarding an exclusive line."

"Oh, cut the crap, Bella. We both know that this is a formality. My shop is amazing and you want your clothes there. Just email me the damn paperwork and tell Alice to get her ass in gear. And since we're now bonded by a mutual appreciation of hot mafia men, secrets, and AWD clothing…"

A chorus of "Hey!" and "What the hell?!" radiated from Emmett and I at her claims.

"As I was saying…looks like we're all fucking besties now that we've got our first secret between us. You too, McCarty. So I say we cap off this little pact slash business deal with a fucking toast in the most spectacular way. Call Jazz and Alice. I'm coming over to your place, Alice is going to make us look amazing, and we are going to the damn club. Don't bother fighting it because it's a done deal. Too much booze, too much dancing, too little clothing. What do you say, Emmett? Think you can handle me at my best? Or are you not allowed to come out and play?"

Emmett was looking at Rose in awe. "Woman, I'll go wherever the hell you want me to. I knew _a prima vista_ , at first sight"

Rose giggled, and the looks they were giving each other were making me feel like I was intruding in my own office.

"Alright, alright you damn love birds. Makes me sick! I'm gonna tell Vic that she can lock up and head home after she steams a few of the pieces for a magazine spread next week. And since there's no getting rid of you McCarty, you might as well make yourself fucking useful and drop Rose and I at my place. Let me guess…you know exactly where that is?" He at least had the decency to look sheepish at my question. I guess he wasn't so bad once you were forced to spend some time with him.

I picked up my phone and called Alice to let her know that I was coming home and with company. It was going to be a little more difficult to explain to her what I had planned to do now that Emmett was a factor, but now that I resolved to think this through a bit more, another 24 hours wasn't going to make me or break me. I didn't want to leave her in a tight spot with the business, especially with us taking on such a daunting task with the new place, and now I'd at least have the chance to explain myself a bit more and to give my parents a heads-up instead of just showing up unannounced.

"Bells! Are you on your way? Before you argue, just hear me out: I've got on my jeans. Let that info soak in for a minute. You know the ones I'm talking about… _the jeans._ The ones that I jump and wiggle down the hallway in before laying on the bed to get them to button because they make my ass look sooo good? Yep. Those ones. And you know what that means."

I tried not to laugh at her excitement. Was I really that lame? I racked my brain trying to figure out when the last time we went to the club was, and I was coming up blank.

"What, pray tell, does that mean my dear Alice?"

"Bella! You know damn well what it means! We've got celebrating to do! I won't take no for an answer, even if I have to get Jazz to drag you out!"

"Al, chill out. I'm not arguing. I'm in. I just wanted to call and let you know that I'll be bringing Rose with, and she demands your impeccable skills. I also…um…there's going to be a guy coming with us. I can't really talk about it right now but I promise to fill you in when I get home."

"Oooh! I've got the perfect outfits for the two of you…prototypes to take on a little test drive! You won't be disappointed. And Bells, you don't sound too happy about whoever that guy is, so I'll make sure Jasper's here. You know how great he is at feeling people out."

I knew I could count on Alice. She may go off on a hyperactive tangent more often than not, but she always understood what was going on without me having to say it, and this was a conversation best left for face to face. We exchanged goodbyes, and I stuck my phone back into my purse.

We reached the condo in record time, once again thanks to Emmett's impeccable way of driving without worry or simple things referred to as 'traffic laws'. I punched in our security code for the elevator under his watchful eyes, making a note to change it in the morning, and the three of us silently shuffled in. The environment, borderline jovial during our ride, became stifling. I had been feeling this way quite often lately, and looked to Emmett out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at me, a puzzled expression on his face, but then broke out into a grin.

The doors opened and Alice stood there to greet us, Jasper slightly in front of her with his arms crossed. Alice must have given him the heads up regarding our 'company', and I appreciated the sense of calm that he always had a way of projecting.

Alice threw a quick wave to Emmett before grabbing mine and Rosalie's hands and dragging us through the foyer, straight into her room before slamming the door.

"Alright, Bella. Talk!" I knew she'd cut to the chase.

"Al, he works for Edward Cullen. He was waiting outside of the meeting for me."

"What?! Was he with Esme?"

"No," I sighed and sat down at the foot of her bed, head in my hands.

"Oookay…well…can someone please start talking? I'm going to burst!"

Rose laughed and smacked Alice playfully on the back. "I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm a fan of the big guy. I wouldn't mind if we kept him around for the evening, at least." I looked up at Alice, whose head was whipping back and forth between Rose and I, mouth open in shock.

"Edward…and you…but him…and…ahhhh! Rose I never thought I'd see the day! And Bella, you're so flustered. I forgot how much I freaking missed your Edward Cullen escapades! Alright…I can be nice to this guy. Do we trust him? What's the consensus?" she asked, looking to me.

"I feel like I can trust him, which is pretty fucked up. In the same vein, just because I feel like he wouldn't do anything to us, it doesn't mean I trust him with, well, withholding information from his employer if you know what I mean."

Alice shook her head and sat down beside me, taking my hand. "Bells, maybe you've run from this Edward thing long enough. I get that he was this unattainable dream. I also know that you've been holding onto that for years, and don't deny it. You measure every guy to him and it isn't right. Now he's real, in the flesh and interested. So, maybe he's not what you envisioned. Doesn't he deserve the chance? Don't you? Maybe you can move on, then. Get some closure."

She had a good point. She didn't see his full-blown domineering side, though. Something was inherently creepy about him, and I couldn't put my finger on it. I decided to rip the band aid off as fast as possible, knowing we wouldn't get anywhere without it.

"So, he was sort of at the café and we made out in the hallway and maybeEsmecaughtustogether?" I sputtered in an embarrassing rush of words.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Good God, woman! Why am I always middle-naming you lately?! Please tell me everything is okay with Esme?! Most importantly, how was it? What did he say? Why was he there?!"

"I have no clue, Al. But he was amazing. And scary. I felt like a live wire, like he was waking up some kind of part of me that I didn't know fucking existed. But it was out of control. I didn't know up from down. I didn't like losing myself like that. It seems like it could only end badly."

Rose tsk'd at that moment, dragging a chair from the other side of the room to the bedside. "Hon, I think you're _supposed to_ feel out of control. Head over heels and all that shit. Edward is…intense. I only know him from the shop and it's enough to know he's not the kind of guy to waste his time on something he isn't confident about. If you're it…I say buckle up. I don't see him going any-fucking-where unless it's with you. I'm not exactly an expert on these things. You could say I'm a little picky…"

Alice burst out laughing, causing Rose to shoot daggers in her direction.

"Anyways, before this little bitch so rudely interrupted," Alice laughed again before sticking her tongue out at Rose. "I felt something with Emmett. It was a small piece of something, just a hunch. Some butterflies. No choirs singing or some shit. But whatever it was, it made my heart skip a beat. I was fucking speechless. I actually giggled, and Alice knows I NEVER giggle. And I don't know him; he doesn't know me. But it was enough to make me consider something. And that's the only jump I need."

Alice stood up, hands on her hips. "It's settled then. You two are going to look amazing tonight. Rose, you're gonna get that man for…whatever it is you have in mind. Bella, we're going to get you looking your best so you can have one last night of freedom before I force your ass to call Edward Cullen tomorrow!"

I groaned, second guessing this whole 'going out' plan. I knew Alice was going to talk my ear off about Edward the whole night, and it was something I just didn't want to deal with right now. Plus, I didn't want Emmett overhearing anything that I didn't feel comfortable with, which was basically every damn thing. Fuck it. I was here, I was out of my mind, I was going to enjoy it.

"Alright, Al. I have two conditions, though. One – black or navy, no exceptions. Two – it's a red lip kind of night." she squealed in the endearing way that only she knew how. I was going to miss her. Maybe I'd get my shit together quickly.

God, I have a bad feeling about this. I could use a drink right about now.

We were dressed and just finishing up with accessories when there was a light knock on the door. Jasper walked in, beer in one hand and a smile that shone for Alice alone.

"You look beautiful, girls. Everyone ready to head out?"

Rose walked over to her cousin and grabbed his bottle, finishing it off much to his displeasure before handing it back to him. "He say anything to you out there? What do you think of him?"

"Rose, we just stared at the game and had a few beers. I asked him how he knew you guys, and he said work. He was short but didn't seem like he was up to anything. In fact, he seemed a little nervous. He kept looking at the hallway, so I think it's you that has him out of sorts. I don't think it's a big deal. We're going out anyways...easy to call a cab and head back if we don't feel like being around him anymore." He tossed his bottle into the trash bin next to the doorway, kissed Alice on the cheek, and grabbed our three handbags as we burst out laughing.

"Yeah yeah, don't say it. I'm well-trained. Best to make things easy for Alice, or it will take another hour to get out the door. We'll be waiting downstairs for you three."

There were so many things that could go wrong tonight. Edward was going to wonder where the hell Emmett had disappeared to, wouldn't he? Of course he'd tell his boss he was at the club, but would he say more than that since he was supposed to be watching me? Would he tell Edward that I was there with him?

I'm second guessing my delay now, wondering if I should stick with the original plan to leave for Forks tonight. But realistically, I've wasted too much time on this back and forth when I could have been packing and explaining everything to Alice. So, tomorrow it is. I'm going to make the best of it, use a night of fun and drinking with friends to keep my mind off of all the Edward shit.

We made our way outside and started to climb into the sedan, unaware of the eyes across the street watching in the shadows, or the chill in the air - the shift into something dangerous.

Maybe a stress-free evening will provide me some clarity…as long as the Emmett part of the equation didn't end up being a ticking time bomb.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

We made our way to the long line at the club before Emmett pushed his way ahead, walking straight past the bouncer with a nod of his head and motioning for us to follow. He led us to a dark, roped off corner where several waitresses immediately rushed forward with an array of bottles and mixers. Within minutes, we had a spread of drinks and shots, passing them around with wide smiles and increasingly glassy eyes before everyone made their way to the dance floor.

I lost myself immediately and closed my eyes, arms outstretched towards the ceiling. I could feel Rose and Alice bumping against my hips every few seconds, giggles and shouts surrounding me, reminding me that I was in a happy and carefree place for the first time in awhile, even if just for the night. I wanted to soak up every second of the alcohol rushing through my veins, not enough to be completely drunk but enough to give me a feel of warmth and pulse of mild invincibility, and most importantly the forgetfulness I craved.

When a slower song began, I left my friends who had paired off and made my way to the bar to request bottles of water be sent to the table and a different array of shots for the girls.

I leaned my elbows on the smooth, sticky counter, shaking my hips to the catchy song and tapping my nails on the surface while the bartender served a customer several feet away. I felt a shiver up my spine before two arms surrounded my own and a head leaned close to mine.

"Hey honey. I've been watching your fine ass since you walked in. No man tonight?"

Give me a fucking break. He reeked of Jägermeister and weed, and I rolled my eyes, turning around and knowing exactly where I was going to tell this asshole to go when several things happened at once, somehow both in slow motion and so fast I thought I had imagined it.

The blonde-haired creep had a grin on his face that made me shudder, and he was saying something that he found entertaining and licking his lips, but I wasn't concentrating on him. In my peripheral I could see Emmett marching towards me, one arm reaching for something behind his back and the other holding his phone up to his ear. He had a look on his face that was eerily calm for the way he moved but controlled in a way that suggested normality with the situation. I heard him yell, causing the offending man to turn around slowly before jumping back, pinning me between his body and the bar top. The patrons surrounding us didn't seem to notice, and when Emmett pushed himself through the distance to reach us, he grabbed the man by the collar and jammed a handgun into his ribs before pulling him away, dragging him through the crowd without so much as a glance in my direction.

"What the fuck, Emmett?! Emmett? Emmett!"

He kept walking, not even giving me a second glance, and I looked to Rose and Alice who were still dancing with Jasper in the sea of people. I was so freaked out and confused by what just occurred, and decided to follow Emmett through the club. He stormed through the crowds with ease before pushing through a black, unmarked steel door.

I didn't hesitate to push through and the door slammed behind me. It was a dark hallway, lit with one lone security light casting a dull red tone across the shadows. I could hear the buzzing of its camera attempting to focus on the intruder and muffled voices behind one of the doors. I slowly began to walk towards it, heels tapping against the flooring with an echo, curiosity overpowering any sense of safety. I knew I could thank the fucking liquor for that, and I shook my head to attempt to unsuccessfully clear it.

I stopped at the door at the end of the hallway, and crouched down towards the light shining under it. I could see the back of a pair of polished black leather shoes and could distinctly hear Emmett. It sounded like he may have had his back against the door, and I wondered if the guy he yanked off of me somehow got the jump on someone as large as him.

I cursed myself for leaving my clutch at the table, loaded with my phone and mace and false sense of security. But Emmett had been decent to us, and Rose looked at him like he held the secrets to the universe. I wouldn't feel right just leaving him in some kind of trouble, and I knew I couldn't get help in time. There was no way I could run down this hallway in heels without jeopardizing us both, not to mention the fact that I'm not exactly an Olympic fucking sprinter.

I ran through my self defense knowledge, seeing blurry instruction flipping through my memories like a booze soaked rolodex. I didn't think I drank _that_ much. Did I? Hell, who fucking knows. If I was going to do this, I had to do this now and hope that my distraction would help Emmett enough to get us both the fuck out of here.

I grabbed the doorknob with shaky hands and turned, pulling it open just a crack. It was in typical drunk Bella fashion that I would think I'm being sneaky when I'm being embarrassingly obvious. My 'sneaky entrance' cause a loud screeching of metal before several sets of eyes turned to me. Emmett automatically stepped to shield me, but not before the green eyes from my dreams zeroed in on my position with such heat that my heart ached.

"McCarty? What the fuck is going on here?"

Edward took a step in our direction, the movement calculated but anger so intense that it practically vibrated under his skin. He kept his eyes on me, wide and questioning.

"Sir, I can explain." Emmett stuttered, but didn't move from in front of me. He bent down, setting his gun on the ground before putting his hands up in gesture that reminded me of someone attempting to calm a wild animal.

Edward shook his head, running a hand roughly through his bronze locks before rubbing the back of his neck roughly. " _Dai nemici mi guardo io, dagli amici mi guardi Iddio!_ , I will protect myself from my enemies; may God protect me from my friends!"

"Mr. Cullen! No! It's not…it isn't like that!"

"Then please, McCarty, explain to me why you fucking said that she was fast asleep in the safety of her home, but I see her standing here. With you. In my fucking club."

"I didn't know you would be here…"

 _BANG!_

My eyes widened. Edward stood, a shining pistol clutched in his hand and extended towards the opposite wall which now held a hole in the crumbling sheetrock.

"Isabella, MOVE!"

I gulped, wondering where my liquid courage had fled to, and shakily put a hand on Emmett's bicep. Edward's eyes shifted immediately with my movement, and a brief look of concern flashed across his face before the rage returned. Nice job, Bella. I was cursing myself when Emmett began shouting at Edward again. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the creep from the bar on the floor next to Edward, one side of his face shockingly more purple than the last time I saw him. He was grinning again.

"Mmmm…so that's her, Cullen?" he sneered.

Edward whipped towards him just in time to find himself threatened by the asshole's barrel pressed against his chest. He froze, looking over towards me quickly as if assessing my reaction. I felt my blood run cold. I was familiar with weapons – my dad always thought that safety was the best accident prevention. But I had never seen one used on anything but a tin can or a tacked up paper target at the back of our wooded lot. And I sure as hell never imagined my dream guy in danger. That wasn't possible. It was sacrilegious. Not him. Anyone but him. Never him.

Edward grinned his crooked smile at me, cocky and proud, and I panicked. Why wasn't he? The walls seemed to be closing in on us, and my breath was coming out gasps. I was looking for any available escape, any window, any weapon. Any weapon, any weapon…

"He's going to be interested to hear about this. He had his suspicions but to have proof…you're fucked, Cullen. He's coming for all of you and your fucking family is done. He'll start with her. Or maybe I will. I'll shoot the two of you and you can watch me fuck her while you're dying. What a perfect…"

 _BANG!_

I screamed and felt Emmett's grip on my arm, holding me gently and speaking in relaxing tones that sounded miles away. I didn't realize what he was doing until I looked down at my hands and saw his gun, recovered from our feet and warm to the touch, clutched protectively in my grasp. I immediately released it to him and wrapped my arms around my body. The creep was laying across the office, blood pooling from his chest, seeping deep and dark across the hardwood floors in an ooze that seemed to be spreading too fast to be real. Was that me? Oh God. Oh God.

"Isabella! Isabella! Oh, _mia bella._ My beautiful, beautiful girl. You did good. Fuck, you did so good. Can you look at me? Isabella, look at me baby."

My eyes were blurring as I was lost in the blood, but I forced myself to look up.

Emmett had walked across the room, barking orders quickly over his phone. "Sir, do you want me to get Miss Swan away from here? The crew is coming to take care of this."

Edward rubbed his chin in thought, and began to turn back towards Emmett when my hands shot out and gripped his crisp white dress shirt, unable to control myself. I needed him close. I needed him and I couldn't explain it. I needed to keep him safe. His presence was keeping me together. I needed to focus. I needed to fucking focus. Get it together, Bella! Now! I choked back a sob, unable to soothe myself. He was okay. He was okay.

"Edward, please," I whispered, not thinking clearly and forgetting all the reasons why I needed to. "I need you. Please don't leave me."

He looked down at me with the same tenderness I saw earlier as he had introduced me to Esme. Holy shit. Was that today? It felt like another lifetime. Maybe I had officially descended into my fantasy world?

"McCarty, we'll be leaving together. If she has any things, please gather them. I trust you'll contact anyone necessary to inform them of her whereabouts?"

"Yeah boss, no problem."

"And Emmett?" he turned, awaiting further instruction from Edward. "We have a big fucking problem. We will be discussing this tomorrow."

Emmett nodded at Edward before waving awkwardly to me and heading out the door. I felt Edward's warm touch on my elbow, gentle but firm. I looked up at his face, so much closer than I had expected. His eyes were swimming with unanswered questions and so much anger, but somehow his face held the scariest look of all.

Devotion.

This was dream Edward territory. This was the reason I wanted to run. But I was finding it more and more difficult to remind myself of what all those reasons were. I couldn't leave him; I couldn't leave this. This, whatever _this_ was…this was going to follow me wherever I went. When I closed my eyes, every breath, every thought.

"Come with me, Isabella. Please. Please let me take care of you."

I nodded dumbly, eyes wide and trying not to look back towards the body on the ground as he led me through another door. We walked through a shorter hallway than the one I had entered through, slightly more well-lit with a few industrial-looking sconces. Edward stopped at the exit, pressing a kiss to my forehead before clasping my hand in his and bursting through the door quickly. He looked both ways defensively before rushing us into the back of an idling black sedan.

Emmett stared at us through the rearview mirror. "Your place, boss?"

Edward looked over to me, hand still gripping mine. I was losing myself in his gaze, somehow feeling more drunk than I was before but more clear-headed than I had ever been in my entire life.

"Yes. Downtown. Quickly." Emmett nodded before turning his focus to the road.

Why was it that whenever Edward Cullen touched down in my life, he did so with the force of a tornado, leaving just as much destruction in his wake? I had gone through a gamut of emotions in the last 24 hours, and I wondered at what point I would fucking combust. Was he real? Was I really going to spend the night with this man, this virtual stranger? I would lose myself with him. I could lose myself forever. But the excitement was pumping through me now, the desire, the frenzy, the fear.

Fear that I would never want to leave. Fear that he would never let me go. And most worrisome: fear about the fact that I had just shot a man and couldn't find it in me to care.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

BPOV

While Emmett wove through the city streets, I was dipping in and out of reality. Edward held me close, one hand warmly on my knee while the other wrapped around my back and stroked my hair. I'm sure the motion was meant to calm me, but it only magnified the electricity pulsing between us, causing my stomach to turn in nervousness. My heart felt resigned, my mind floating up to the heavens before crashing down in doubt, only to skim the surface of my self-consciousness and fly upwards once again. This rollercoaster was exhausting, and I felt heavy with a concept that I had hardly experienced before: power.

While I was searching desperately for touch-points from my past brief forays into religion, I realized I was not looking to merely sooth my soul but to find loopholes to justify my actions. What happened felt necessary. It felt _good._ What did this say about my character, about what I've suddenly become? What was missing was guilt, and I wasn't ready to concentrate on what that meant. I knew the Bible; I knew the sins.

Surely murder was justifiable when protecting yourself? Or those you love? Was that why I didn't feel badly about my actions? Or would that arrive after the numbness subsided?

 _Love._ Such heavy connotations and so out of the realm of possibility.

But I was already out of the realm at this point, wasn't I? We had already defied some strange fucking odds.

"Isabella? Have you changed your mind?"

I turned my head towards Edward, who was staring at me with a concerned expression. I hadn't noticed the car had stopped, his door open with Emmett standing outside sharing the same look. I inhaled deeply, my hands shaking slightly before giving Edwards hand a small squeeze and a nod. He grinned before sliding out of the back seat and pulling me along with him.

"McCarty, double back to the club and make sure everything goes accordingly. Find out why he was there, if someone sent him. I'll be calling you in the morning. Notify Jenks that I'm not to be interrupted unless there is an emergency. _Capische_?"

Emmett nodded before stepping back into the car and driving off. Edward led me through the lobby, wrapping his arm possessively around my waist and pulling me tight to his side, the heavy steel of his gun pressed to my hip and icy cold through my dress. He gave a tight smile to the security guard before heading towards the elevators. We stepped in, and he turned to be before he reached into his pocket and produced two small keys on gold key chains, clearing his throat before speaking in nearly a whisper.

"This…um…I know I'm so presumptuous with you but…um…fuck! Okay, these are for the elevator. There are no other copies. One is yours. I, ah…it always has been..." He inserted one next to the button for the top floor before pressing down, doors closing.

"Edward…"

"Please, Isabella. Just…just don't argue with me. Taking care of you, remember?"

He gave me his gorgeous, crooked grin, slightly subdued with a touch of his own nerves. I made Edward Cullen nervous. The concept was still foreign to me. We had so much to talk about, but the higher the numbers climbed, the less talking I craved.

We silently reached his floor, the doors quietly sliding open. He didn't step out immediately, and I looked at him from the corner of my eyes. His own were closed, and he looked like he was steadying his breathing. Or maybe he was just having second thoughts. That'd be my fucking luck.

His eyes shot open before he straightened his posture and looked at me with a new resolve and fire burning in his eyes. He yanked me through the doors, mumbling apologies while sliding out of his suit coat and dropping it unceremoniously on the stone floor. I twisted my hands together, unsure of what to do but trying to keep myself from touching him. God, he was so fucking touchable.

He kicked off his shoes, eyes shooting up to mine and smirking.

"Touchable, huh _mia bella_?"

Oops.

"Edward, this is crazy. This is so freaking crazy. Like, you get how crazy this is, right? I can't be here. I should head home."

He chuckled, raising an eyebrow smugly at me while crossing his arms. I guess my threats didn't hold much weight if I was saying them while removing clothing. I looked down, realizing that I had kicked my shoes off and unzipped the side of my dress. One shoulder strap slipped down, revealing the lace bra underneath and causing Edward to take a sharp breath, eyes widening before increasing in heat.

Alice has always said women only wore black lingerie when they knew they'd be getting some. I guess my subconscious wanted to be prepared.

He crossed the floor to me quickly and engulfed me in his arms, pressing me against his body. I could feel his hardness against my belly while he moved his hands sensuously up and down my waist. I rubbed against him, desperate for friction, and he pressed his face into my hair and groaned.

"Jesus, Isabella. For so long…"

"I know, Edward. I know. Somehow this is…" I shook my head, either unable to find the words or afraid of what they were.

"Important. It feels important, baby."

I nodded against his chest, feeling dampness in my eyes. I was overwhelmed. This felt like serendipity. This felt fucking amazing. I wanted everything with this man. I wanted him touching me. I wanted him dangerous. I liked the prospects – I felt high off of them. It made the blood rush in my veins. It brought out side of me I didn't know existed.

Edward grasped my chin roughly, pulling my face up and looking into my eyes. There was so much emotion, so much attraction that it made my knees weak. Why was I going to run from this again? My dream guy, looking at me in the way he always had. But real. And warm. And I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass me by.

"I need you so fucking bad, Isabella. I need you now. Please don't deny me."

There was no question.

"Never, Edward."

He crashed his lips to mine, his tongue immediately seeking mine. He tasted like mint and alcohol and something intrinsically Edward. He was strong, and I could feel the muscles tensing in his shoulders and back as I dragged my nails across them. I moaned, unable and unwilling to control it. My shyness was gone, and I was unconcerned about why. This was meant to happen. Somehow, I knew Edward was meant to see me like this: unhinged, unafraid.

Strong enough to be his equal. Strong enough to be worthy of him.

Without warning, he lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He broke his mouth from mine, dragging his tongue from my cleavage and up my neck. He placed light kisses on my collarbone as he walked us down a dark hallway and into his bedroom.

He untangled me from his body, pulling my other strap down my arm and kneeling on the ground, peeling my dress down along with him and letting it pool around my feet. I stepped out of it, and he held me at arms length, dragging his eyes up to mine, giving me the sexy crooked smirk that I had already grown to love.

 _Love._ That word again. One that held no meaning, but now held too much.

"Oh Isabella, _mi amor non conosce travaglio._ "

"What…what does that mean?" I gasped as he began to trail wet kisses on my hips, making his way across my panties. Everything he did was so fucking perfect.

"My love never tires, Isabella. Not for you. Never." he whispered like a prayer.

 _Love._ Is that what I was feeling? It was too soon for that. I didn't know this man.

I ground my body close to him, grasping him by his hair and pulling his face roughly where I needed him so fucking badly. Maybe I didn't know him. But somehow my body did. And he was so, so good with it…

Fuck it. I needed him. I was unashamed. I pulled his head back, staring him in the eye. I could see my newfound power washing over him as he looked up at me with longing and desire.

 _Love. Power. Desire._

"I need you now, Edward. So fucking much. Don't make me beg."

"I wouldn't deny you, Isabella. After all this time…God, I would give you my life if it brought you pleasure."

I gave him a smirk of my own as I backed up against the bed, sitting down and slithering back towards the pillows with a crook of my finger.

"I'm sure you can give me other things that would provide much more fucking pleasure, Edward."

He smiled, standing up and unbuttoning his pants. He removed his gun, setting it on the bedside table before he let them drop, staring over me with the look of a starving man. His chest was heaving, his cheeks flushed with excitement while he palmed the bulge straining against his black boxer briefs before quickly shoving them down his legs. Holy fuck. My imagination did it no justice. My jaw dropped, and he smiled.

"See something you like, _mia bella_?"

"I see a lot that I fucking like, Edward."

His grin widened, and he stalked slowly towards me. He reached the foot of the bed and climbed on, crawling towards me until he reached my knees. He grasped my legs roughly and spread them wide, kneeling between them and rubbing his hands up and down my thighs.

He grabbed the waistband of my panties, my anticipation so fucking out of control that I wasn't aware of what was happening until I heard the rip of fabric.

"Oh Jesus, Isabella. Look at you. You're so fucking magnificent."

I blushed from his assessment before he rubbed his fingers slowly up and down my slit, causing me to gasp.

"Look how far down that blush goes. You're so wet, baby. Is that all for me?"

I couldn't think, senses overwhelmed by his touch, and his words, and his gaze. I nodded, desperate for him and unable to breathe. This give and take of power...it felt _right_ between us, engrained in our bones. I clawed at my bra straps, trying to tear it from my body. He chuckled and reached for my breasts, massaging them before sliding his hands around me and unhooking the offending article deftly.

"God yes, Edward. Please."

He brought both hands back to my breasts, teasing each nipple until I arched my back and felt goose bumps litter my overheated flesh. Every touch felt like too much, the cool sheets painful on my overstimulated skin, an aching deep in my body that I'd never felt before, with every breath like I was drowning in him.

"Bella, I know we just met. I know…my head is at war with my heart. I don't want to scare you but, you should be scared. You should be so fucking scared. But I can't stop; I need you. I need you forever. I need to feel you. I…I'm clean, but I don't want you to feel…"

I had always been careful. Careful Bella. Predictable Bella. Reliable Bella. Just Bella.

With Edward, I was something _more._ I was charged, I was alive for the very first time. I was superhuman. I wanted him in every way possible. I wanted him to consume me and I wanted to consume him just as much. My only fear was losing him. How could I have ever considered running from this? How could I ever be so fucking blind?

"The only thing I feel is how fucking badly I need you, Edward. I want you so bad that I'm crawling in my skin. I don't know what I feel, but it's more than…"

He cut me off with a kiss, pulling himself down on his forearms and hovering above my body. He used his knees to push my legs wider, and I felt another rush of wetness, my body begging for him.

As Edward made his way back to my neck, I clutched his strong arms, digging my nails into them. Edward brought something animalistic out of me, an unexplored desire for pain mixed with my pleasure. His cock slipped against me, soaking in my juices before he ground himself against my clit, bringing me so close to the edge with minimal touches so quickly that I couldn't hide my shock. He looked up at me and smiled, kissing me softly on the lips as he started to slide into me. His tip started to stretch me, my body bucking against the intrusion and a slight fear that I wouldn't be able to take him in. But I was so fucking wet…

I wrapped one leg around his waist and pulled him swiftly towards me, causing him to sink in so quickly that we both froze, a loud groan coming from him as he dropped his head against my shoulder.

"So fucking deep, _mia bella._ So good."

He picked up the pace, our hands wandering so rapidly and out of control, both of us trying to climb into the other. We couldn't get closer, couldn't be more intimate. He pumped into me so forcefully, then slowed to languid strokes, letting me feel each delicious inch of him rub against the deepest part of me. So slow, so deep, almost pulling out entirely before sinking back in. His arms started to shake, sweat beading on our bodies, hair matted to our foreheads. Where he ended and I began, I didn't know. Time slowed, then rushed in a blur that made my head fuzzy.

I was so, so fucking close…trying to hold off, afraid to end this connection, wake up from this dream. I was panting so loudly now, moaning and crying out for him, begging him not to stop.

I always thought that the reason I didn't get off during sex was because the guys I was with were terrible. And maybe it was that. But it was clear to me now that another missing piece of the puzzle was the mental connection, the attraction between us. When I closed my eyes, I didn't need to picture someone else, or check off a to-do list. I _needed_ this from him. Only him. I craved it. I loved it.

 _Love._

When I closed my eyes, it was Edward I saw. He engulfed every sense, lit me on fire.

God, please please please don't let me get fucking burnt.

Edward grabbed my other leg, wrapping it around him tightly before lifting up my ass with both hands and picking up speed, thrusting deeper in a new angle that I've never experienced or knew existed. He lowered his head back to my chest, sucking hard on one of my breasts before his thrusts started to become erratic.

"I belong in you, Isabella," he rasped lowly in my ear, clenching my body tighter to him in possession. "You belong to me. Tell me. I want to hear how good it feels."

"So fucking good, Edward. I'm going to come, baby. I…I can't. It's too much."

"I'm going to fucking live inside you Isabella. Forever. You were meant for me. We…this was meant to happen. You're so fucking perfect, _mia bella_ …you're mine..."

 _Mine._ One word. I could feel the heat rising, choking me, engulfing me in a buzzing energy that exploded through every inch of me. My fingertips dug into Edwards ass, scraping up his back and clinging to his shoulders, crying out his name. He bit down lightly on my neck, sucking, marking me before I felt him tense and harden so impossibly deep that I questioned the accuracy of biology. My heart was stammering in my chest, threatening to burst with the uncontrolled rhythm of a hummingbird's wings, and I involuntarily clenched as I felt him pulsing inside of me.

He thrust a few more times lazily before looking up at me, trying to catch his breath but too fucking close for me to wrap my head around what just happened and the significance of it. Each time I exhaled, he breathed me in, and I wondered if it would be the type of relationship we would have, if it was what we would become. What was this?

"Isabella, you are…there, there are no words. I want…no…I _need_ you to know, I lo…"

 _Love._

I didn't know what that was, but it was a concept that I was willing to explore. He played my body like he owned it, like I was built for him in mind and him alone. A future with Edward once seemed unattainable, the immature fantasies of my unsatisfied youth. Maybe I would wake up, and this was a cruel dream. But now that I knew this feeling was possible? I'd chase it. I'd become crazed with it. I'd kill for it.

I looked at him warily, questioning the thoughts that had been running rampant in my own head, unable to hear it yet, unable to voice what had me so fucking scared. A stranger. One who knew me better than I knew myself.

"Edward…"

He seemed to understand my hesitation and smiled at me indulgently, dropping the subject. He moved the hair out of my face, then traced my lips with his own before pressing against them. He rolled us over, keeping our connection, starting to rub the length of my body sensually with his strong hands.

"Come on, baby. This is just the beginning."


	12. Chapter 12

**_AN -_** So...you wanted sexy times. In fact, lots of anonymous PMs demanding it in a not-so-nice way lol. Whatevs. But...the story is already written. So, ya know...just sit back and enjoy! I told you I had 'em! Patience pays off. Reading is fun. Yaaaay.

Thanks to all the lovelies who said awesome things and who came here by way of Rita. Rita, I know not who you are, but you're amazing. Thanks so much for your rec. I never thought about how I'd get anyone to read this story the first time I hit 'publish', and you guys have done all the work for me. I'm humbled. I hope I don't disappoint.

You know who'd never disappoint? Edward. So let us have more of that, and less of this. ;) Xx

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 ** _Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

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EPOV

I woke up with a start, the sound of buzzing and muffled chirping coming loudly from somewhere outside my room. I started to stretch, my mind hazy from my sweet dreams, only to feel a weight on my chest. I looked down at the silky chestnut strands, a manicured hand splayed against my chest protectively. Isabella. She was here. It was real. It was all fucking real. I kissed the top of her head gently before running my fingertips along hers. My ministrations paused at her ring finger like a reflex.

Soon, everything. Soon.

I knew she would never deny me.

I quietly untangled myself from her warm body, regretting the move immediately. Standing above the bed, looking down at her smooth, pale skin glowing in the moonlight. She was perfection. Exquisite. Angelic but sinful. Give and take that drove me wild. Please let her stay with me. Please let me keep her safe. _Breve orazione penetra_ **,** God listens to short prayers. Hopefully he listens to them from someone like me.

I slipped on my wrinkled dress pants and picked up Isabella's discarded clothing, hanging up her dress and making a note to have it picked up for dry cleaning. I glanced at the bedside table, the clock's pale green light shining 3:19. It was odd to see the surprising hour. Time ceased whenever Isabella was in my arms, and I felt inexplicably reinvigorated, awake, more alive than ever before.

The noises from somewhere within the penthouse began again, so I left the room, closing the door behind me with a click. It was a ringing phone, located quickly on the foyer floor inside of her tiny handbag. I debated simply shutting it off, but I was curious to know who would be calling her at this hour. Her friends were to be alerted about where she was, and the only alternative would be some sort of emergency.

I pulled the phone out of her bag, still blaring offensively, the screen reading 'blocked caller'. My hackles rose, instincts taking over; blocked calls were generally not for a positive reason, especially in my line of work. I'd answer it. No one will harm Isabella. I wouldn't allow it.

"Who is this?" I demanded, no bother with pleasantries.

I heard a deep laugh on the other line, no other response from the caller.

"I suggest you not call this phone again. It'd be in your best interest." My fist clenched at my side, my mind warring with my need to crush the phone and go back into my Isabella-induced bubble.

"Cullen, I was hoping you'd answer." My ears perked, straightening my stance in a way that always came naturally when I was in Don mode.

"You know me. Then you know what I'm capable of. Who the fuck is this?"

He laughed again, and I could hear rustling. "Bella looked amazing tonight. I'm a little surprised about the lack of your security at her condo, though. You'd think a place that large with just two helpless women living there would be higher on your list of priorities."

He'd been there. Whoever this was…she'd been fucking watched. How did I not know? I clenched my teeth together, seeing red, shivering in anger. I had to keep it in check, maintain an upper hand.

"Isabella _always_ has my eyes on her. She is never unprotected. You have a fucking death wish by being anywhere near her. What the hell do you want?"

"Ha, Cullen…you're right about always having eyes on her. You just don't seem to understand just how many pairs is all. Tonight was just the start of my associates focusing on their orders. You are always so fucking sure of yourself, of your family. I see that nothing's changed. And now that you've moved in on her...that makes you weak. You're the perfect target. But I'm going to need to start with Bella. Sorry." he laughed, unapologetic and playing a dangerous game.

"You'll never touch her. You'll never…"

"Never what, hmm? What if I told you I'd been in her apartment? In her bedroom? What the fuck would you do, I wonder, if I were to tell you…"

"I'd fucking kill you!" I roared.

"Maybe. But I'll ruin you first. I'll break you. The Cullens have had enough, taken enough, been on top long enough. And this isn't just business…so you get ready. You get all your fucking soldiers ready, you stupid Italian piece of shit. Take one last look at your beloved _Isabella_. Does she know what you are? Does she know how long you've been fucking stalking her? Obsessed with her? You think she won't freak the fuck out? You think you have a chance with her? You think that I didn't know…that others don't know? Other families? You Cullens are all the same. Stupid as…"

I threw the phone then, it crashing against the wall before hitting the floor in pieces. I slammed both fists on the entryway table before sweeping everything off of it with a resounding crash, looking up at my reflection in the mirror that hung above it. I looked crazed, my eyes wildly flying over my appearance. My chest heaved, my mind racing through each scenario, each necessary step to ensure her protection, to take this war to the mystery caller before they brought it to my doorstep. I was out of control, the exact opposite of what I had been taught. The Family had always taken pride in stopping threats the moment they materialized, before they became overwhelming. Quietly, swiftly, sending a big fucking message in a trail of blood to anyone watching or anyone else waiting for a chance.

I was going to find this fucker. I was going to rip this throat open with my bare hands and hang him from the docks for all to see. Grandfather always preached _A chi fa male, mai mancano scuse,_ who does evil is never short of excuse. But for the first time, I had a good one. For the first time, I embraced what I was, what I had been turned into with time, and grooming, and the weight of my birthright.

For the first time, I felt thankful, proud to be the fucking Don.

For her. Everything for her. Always for her.

"Edward?"

I spun around, unable to control my breathing, looking over my angel for imaginary injuries as if the vile threats could somehow seep into her skin. She was glorious, my ivory sheet wrapped loosely around her, hair mussed from sex and sleep, cheeks flushed from warmth or fear. She had a wary look on her face that morphed into realization, as if she was starting to see a glimpse of me for what I am, for who I am. I crossed over to her quickly, grabbing her wrists in a vice and pulling them against my chest.

"Look at me, baby. I fucking swear…I will never let you go. I will never let someone fucking hurt you."

Confusion passed over her face as she glanced at the entryway door and then her wrists, her head tilting minutely to the side in thought. Perhaps she was considering her chances at running. I wouldn't blame her. But I'll never stay away from her again. She's mine.

She sighed, then shook her head as if expelling some unwanted thought, and looked up at me, deep brown eyes meeting the wild green of a man apart. She smiled warmly, soothing me like a balm, haze creeping over me and bringing much needed clarity to the early morning hour.

"We need to talk, Isabella. And it needs to happen soon. There's…there are things you must know, things required of you in this world."

"This world?"

"My world."

She stiffened, looking genuinely afraid for the first time since I've set my eyes on her.

"It's true then, Edward? What they say is true?"

"I think it's been pretty obvious. I don't hide from you, Isabella. I would never hide from you."

She considered my words, weighing them silently while I stood like a man waiting my turn at the gallows. If she were to run, it would be now. If she were to run, I would follow her. I would find her.

"Alright."

My head whipped up in shock. Alright?

"Baby, you can't possibly understand…" I stopped, her small hand covering my mouth, demanding my silence.

"Edward, I had heard lots of things about your family over the years. I guess a part of me was in denial. But realistically where there's smoke, there's fucking fire and all that. I guess it was exciting. It was a turn on. It added to the mystery that was _you_ , this unbelievable enigma from my dreams. I want to know about your family. I want to know everything about you. But don't try to hold me close one minute and then try to get me to run away the next. Because I considered the running. Every wall I mentally tried to put up between us drove me crazy. It was a fucked up idea and I'm not going to run. I'll never run from you. And that probably makes me sounds so fucked up, some weird glutton for punishment, because I can imagine you do all sorts of shit that should make a girl like me run the hell out of here. But there's no one I want more than you. It's only ever been you."

I grabbed the back of her head, twisting my hand in her hair before slamming my body against hers and capturing her lips with my own. With no hesitation to be found, she wrapped her arms around me, the sheet dropping to the floor. The sound of it hitting the ground reverberated in my mind, driving my hands to explore her body relentlessly. I couldn't get closer to her. This beautiful creature was really here, her body warm and responsive despite her questions, despite her not realizing the danger she faced. I prayed she wouldn't leave when I opened up to her.

But I could see it all in that moment…everything with her. The future. These greetings at the door, getting ready for work, her movements in the kitchen, curled up on the couch, feverish moments in the shower, sprawled out for me in _our_ bed. My hands on her.

Her own hands began to move across my chest, twisting lightly around each plane before settling over my heart. This was another one of those moments with her, the ones that seem to come with increasing intensity in her presence. One of the ones that seemed important, significant in a way that was too overwhelming to wrap our heads around in the moment but were filed away to dissect and understand later.

"I need you, Edward." she whispered, so quietly that I thought it had been my imagination, a product of my own want, my own desire for her whimpering under me. The memories from hours before crashed into me at full force, making me impossibly hard. I ground against her, silently willing her to understand what I needed, what I was going to take, what the threat against her brought out in me. What would forever be mine.

She moaned, rubbing against my length, causing me to ache with a want that I'd never experienced before giving into her own.

"I _need_ you, Edward. Now."

I nodded, kissing her fully, hands sweeping across her breasts, causing her to arch into my touch. Her own touches sped up, becoming more erratic and desperate, like she was trying to climb onto me. She walked backwards down the hallway, cautious but pulling me along with her, relentless in her touches and soft noises, bumping into walls, giggling. God, every noise she made was such a fucking turn on. Every touch, every sound, even her fucking scent made it even more clear that I would never tire of her, never have my fill. I wanted this woman forever. I wanted to bury myself in her for days. Worship her. Give her everything she ever dreamed of. Give her every fantasy, kneeling down before her in subservience. She was a goddess, my savior.

She moved onto the bed, the distance causing me physical pain as I bent to remove my pants. I was clumsy in my haste, becoming tangled and lost in my Isabella fervor when I heard the click of my barrel. I rose slowly, my face clear, blood rushing to every inch of me, making my cock harden to the point of pain.

There she lay, _mia bella,_ leaning against the headboard. Her legs were spread unashamedly, giving me a full view of the moisture dripping from her tight pussy. Her chest heaved, breasts pressed together as she held my glock, one eye closed as she pointed at my face, arms steady and me in her sightline with a grin. I saw the emptied bullets strewn across the floor at the side of the bed, impressed at her quick handling skills. I knew she was the daughter of a cop; I knew what happened at the club. But seeing her like this, in all her glory, in a way that made me tongue tied and so fucking turned on that I was afraid of what I might do to her, what I might inflict on her body…

"Bang." She whispered, pulling the trigger with a hollow click that bounced off the glass overlooking the skyline.

I shuddered, trying to find the words but too turned on to find any worthy of my devotion.

"Tell me, Edward," she said casually, spinning the gun in her hands, a sly expression on her face. I loved this Isabella. I wanted to be the only one to see her like this, to bring this out in her. "Have you ever killed anyone with this gun?"

"Isabella…" I warned, unsure of where this was going.

"Humor me, baby." She said with a wink.

We were going to play.

"I think you know the answer to that, beautiful."

She pressed her fingers to the inscription, following the etching reverently before pressing a kiss to the barrel.

"This keeps you safe. This brings you back to me." He words were a statement, sure and spoken sensually.

"Always, Isabella."

"How does it feel?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Killing someone?"

"Physically. What do you feel?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Easy question.

"Power."

She nodded, motioning with her hand for me to continue.

"The gun…"

I smiled. I always questioned the life I was leading, but the power was a fucking perk, and I had it in droves. It multiplied with her...bursting from the seams, making us untouchable. We were so damn perfect together.

"Hard. Powerful. Heavy. Warm. It stays warm for awhile, after. The smell, the sound…the excitement stays with you. Sometimes the anticipation beforehand is too much, sometimes it's the adrenaline afterwards. It's the first thing and the last thing I think about when I see it every day."

I started off talking about the gun but finished with _her._ Everything always with her in mind. Her knowing expression warmed my heart.

She gave me her Cheshire grin, dragging the gun across her mouth before slowly making her way down her body. Her nipples hardened despite her overheated flesh, the cold steel causing her to gasp as it made its way lower.

"You need something else to think about every time you see this, don't you agree?"

I nodded dumbly, my voice useless as I shook, staring at her. I was unblinking, my pulse racing, new anticipation from my gun…waiting to see the expanse it traveled across her perfect flesh. My hand went to my weeping cock on its own accord, pumping rhythmically, my muscles tensed to strike.

The gun reached her clit, pausing there as she bucked slowly against it, whimpers falling from her as her eyes stayed locked to mine in challenge. I'd give her another few seconds before I reclaimed what was mine. I knew what she was going to do, and fuck if I didn't want to see it.

She started to move it lower, causing the wetness to gather. I could see it glistening on the inscription now, burning something new into the metal, into my memory.

I needed to fuck this woman. I needed to worship her. I needed to love her, and claim her, and possess her.

And it still wouldn't be enough. It'd never be enough.

And I'd never be able to own her in the way she commanded me.

And I wanted it to stay that way forever. I wanted it so fucking bad.

I pounced then, yanking the glock from her fingertips, attacking the length of her body with my tongue, devouring every precious fucking inch. She was so fucking loud, so fucking ready and responsive and perfect. She didn't hide from me. She hid nothing from me. Her shyness had no place here. With me, she was a different woman. She was mine.

I wondered if she could fathom the amount of power she held over me, the Capo di tuttu capi reduced to willing putty in her pliable hands, bending to her every will, ready to give her everything I had. I lowered my lips to her ear, running my tongue softly along the shell before whispering what I knew she truly feared, what she denied, what she ran from, but what was bursting from me from the moment I laid eyes on her.

"I love you, Isabella. You don't want to say it. You're fighting it. But I want to hear it. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it when I'm inside of you. You love me, too, _mia bella_. I will never let you go. You know we are meant to be. Destiny. You're my queen, let me worship at your feet. Let the Uomini D'onore worship at your feet. Let me deliver the world at your fucking feet."

She pushed at me gently, pressing both hands to my cheeks and searching for something in my eyes. I didn't know what she was looking for her, but I was already programmed to give it to her. I hope she saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. Something more. Something worthy.

"I…I feel for you. I can give you that right now. I can give you all of me. I just need my head to catch up. But I'm yours. God, I'm so fucking yours. Forever. Always. And you have power over me, too. It's fucking scary and it's so fucking pure. I want you to own me in every way." She started to move her body against mine, searching for friction between us. I knew what she wanted, what she was asking. The give and take that we both craved, that made us work. I knew her body so well already. I knew it would always be like this.

I kissed her hard, flipping her over and pulling her up on her knees. She moaned with need, arching her back and lowering herself until her breasts pressed against the soft sheets, panting loudly. I ground my dick into her ass, massaging each supple cheek before giving them a light slap.

"Harder Edward. Oh God…"

I smirked, spine straightening, becoming the Don that she wanted, letting the power she craved wash over me, wash over us. I grabbed her hips roughly, causing her to shudder, and I knew she could feel it too. I smacked her ass harder, redness blooming almost immediately, before dragging the gun slowly between her cheeks, her moans growing in intensity. I moved my cock to her wetness, teasing her softly with the tip, allowing only light touches and clenching my jaw to keep from sinking into her. I wanted to hear her, though. I knew she wanted the control from me, that it turned her on, that she needed it.

"You know what I want to hear _, mia bella_. Don't deny me." _Smack_. "Say it. Out loud." _Smack_.

My Isabella cried out at the teasing, and I relished in the power she gave me, the way she surrendered. So soft, so willing. Mine to command, but only when she allowed it. And I wanted that from her in all things. I wanted her to give herself freely to me, I wanted to satisfy her, to tease her relentlessly before giving her every inch of me. It was a wicked game. She was dripping. It was a cruel punishment.

 _Amor regge senza legge,_ love rules without laws.

Especially where Isabella was concerned.

"Edward…please…oh please…I need…"

"I know what the fuck you need, Isabella. And you know what I need. I want to hear it." I pushed into her lightly, her soaked lips enveloping the head of my cock before I pulled back out immediately. She cried out, pushing her ass against me, mumbling incoherently, her hand snaking underneath her towards her clit. I reached out and grabbed both hands, pulling them to her side and pressing on them with my weight, holding them prisoner, our right hands wrapped around the handle of the gun.

"I don't think so, Isabella." I tsked. "You won't be receiving pleasure from _anyone_ but _me_. Never again."

There was no room for argument at my command, and she shivered at my words. God, she was so fucking gorgeous. She was so meant for me.

I pushed in again, reaching halfway before halting my advance. My game with her was inflicting just as much punishment on myself, and I was questioning my strength when I heard her moan my name with a lower tenor, something resolute. The surrender I wanted.

"I love you, Edward. Oh…oh Edward…I love you so damn much. I don't know why. I can't explain it. It scares the shit out of me. But I'd kill for it. I'd kill for you and I want that. I want that with you. Please, Edward… oh God. Please." My heart grew at her words as my cock hardened to a state that I had never experienced before. And I knew what it was.

Possession. Fully. Isabella giving herself to me, in the way that I give myself to her.

Equal.

I slammed into her, her cries echoing with my own as I sunk as deep as I could be, sending prayers to whoever was listening. She was so fucking tight, and she whimpered each time I slowed, allowing her to feel the ridges of my cock moving inside of her. I was focused on the softness, the heat, rubbing each inch of her reverently, showing her what she meant to me, attempting to memorize every part of her body as her juices flowed between us, dripping down the base of me and spurring me on even more.

I couldn't last any longer. There was no way in hell. Not with her cries for me, the "I love you"s falling from her lips repeatedly, her ass slapping against me with every thrust. Just as I reached my breaking point, Isabella began to shudder, calling out my name, her legs shaking against my own with the force of her orgasm. She tightened around me, and her rush of liquid brought on my own, driving me as deep into her as I could possibly be as I released inside her.

We fell against the mattress, and I rolled over weakly to keep my weight off of her. She sighed, taking the gun from my grasp and setting it beside us, moving as close to me as she could. I drew the sheet over our bodies as we lay silently, attempting to control our breathing. I didn't think there was anything left to say in this brief moment, but I didn't need words to show her that I understood the intensity of what we just shared.

I rubbed my hands along her arms, making my way down her side and settling for rubbing small circles on her belly. She hummed in contentment, and I let my mind wander.

Her words, our natural understanding of each other, of each other's needs. Being here like this. Touching her. Here. Like this. Seeing the future that I had always dreamed of, knowing that it didn't require any convincing for her to see it, too.

I looked down at her, her eyes fluttering before she yawned, falling asleep. I squeezed her a little tighter to me, basking in her warmth and my own satisfaction. I continued to rub her lightly, glancing at her flat stomach, pausing my hand against it.

This would be the future of The Family. This would happen one day, there was no doubt.

Fear crept into my head, memories of my own struggles, despising my life, my responsibilities, my grandfather.

Did I want that? Would I want that for a son of my own? Would Isabella? This small thing…something I didn't consider. Something I hadn't taken into account in my plans. Would it drive her away? There was no avoiding our discussion any longer.

Isabella sighed, a small smile on her lips as she slumbered.

Of everything we shared since our first meeting all those years ago, of everything we shared in the past 24 hours - intimacy, fear, respect, love. Now it was time for the one thing we hadn't done together. The one thing that scared me the most.

We had a lot of fucking talking to do.


	13. Chapter 13

**_AN -_** So my intention was to post this tomorrow, but I'll be busy all day and not sure I'd have time to, so here you go! As always, you guys are awesome and I appreciate the kind words.

You didn't think things would come THAT easily to these two, did you? I'd have no story then! lol I think some of you have crystal balls, though. There's always a catch...

You know who else has crystal balls? ;)

Xx

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 ** _Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

EPOV

Light was streaming through the expanse of windows, burning my eyes and causing me to burrow my face deeper into Isabella's hair. I held onto her, arms wrapped around her as if she might disappear, content but nervous about the direction this thing between us would go. She was still above water, still able to lead a safe life away from me if she chose to. After I lay it on the line, it wouldn't be so easy. She'd be drowning in it. She'd be dragged down with my burdens.

Second thoughts were fighting to bubble up to the surface, but I was determined to ignore them. It'd be her choice, but in the end, I knew I wouldn't have the strength to give her up.

"Mmm…what time is it?" she hummed happily, snuggling deeper in my embrace.

"I haven't looked yet, but I'd guess around 9 or 10. It's been a long time since I've woken up with the sun shining that brightly."

She giggled, lifting up one of my hands and kissing my palm. I gave her a slight squeeze, sitting up and rubbing my hand over my face.

"Listen…last night…what we did, what was said…"

She shot up, shaking her head vigorously.

"No, Edward. Don't do that. Don't…don't make it a thing. I don't know what comes over me when I'm with you. I want to say I just lose my inhibitions but it's more than that…it's like…"

"You don't, um, you don't feel pressured with me, do you? I don't want you to do anything you don't want to. God, I'd do anything to make you happy. I just want you to see that." I pleaded.

"It's not that. Not at all. I wish it were that simple. It's stupid. Never mind."

She hung her head, letting her hair fall forward and cover her face. She drew the sheet up higher on her body as if it offered protection, like she would sink into it permanently if she could. I tucked her hair behind her ear, silently begging her to meet my gaze. She looked so innocent like this, like the stuttering girl back in college. She'd always been vibrant, but seemed cautious. She wasn't like that with me when we were intimate. I wanted that to carry over to every aspect of our relationship.

"Edward, you've always been this…unattainable dream. I think when I'm around you, the fantasy takes over. This…ugh…this probably makes no sense, but fuck it. For years, you were _pretend._ And I got to be pretend, too. When I'd picture you, or dream about you…I was _me_ , only _not_. I was better. More exciting, more spontaneous. Confident. Bella upgraded. I'd do things…"

I frowned. What was I bringing out in her?

"Things you wouldn't normally do." I finished flatly, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I guess," she whispered, finally meeting my eyes. "I don't want you to think I regret anything. God knows I don't. But…this whole thing…it wasn't _me_. And the fact that I've turned into this person, at the drop of a fucking dime…Edward, I'm scared. Was this always me? Have I been in denial? Like some damn sociopath?! What kind of person am I? That I'm comfortable with…with…with THIS?!" she yelled, sweeping her arms around but settling on me.

I was the problem. I couldn't be happy, for one fucking moment…it obviously wasn't allowed.

I dropped my head, hands falling limply at my sides, afraid to say the words but knowing they had to be spoken, knowing I'd die if I heard the answer, wanting to feel the pain.

"Do you…do you love me?"

She bit her lip, twisting the sheets around in her hands nervously. "I don't know, Edward. I mean, I thought I did…think I do. But, when you're so close…it's like my brain shuts off. That's why I wanted to leave town. I could see…I knew this was going to happen. Well, something along these lines. Look at us! I see you a few times and I end up here. Each time, I could hardly form a coherent fucking thought! That's not healthy. This…this isn't healthy. This isn't what I'm supposed to be…"

I was pissed now. Everything we had done, everything we had said.

"What the hell is it that you're _supposed to be_ doing, Isabella? I'm sorry that this didn't all fit into your perfect fucking life. You didn't plan on it being like this? What did you expect? What the fuck did you expect?! I hid nothing from you when we met, when I went to the café, when I brought you home. I laid it all on the fucking line, knowing it was crazy, knowing this was beyond reason. I knew what I was risking with The Family, with myself. But you…Jesus, Isabella…you drive me mad. I want every part of you, and I want to lock you away and keep you mine."

"That's what I'm talking about, Edward! You know, in the middle of the night when I woke up and heard you talking to someone on the phone, all I could think was that it was another woman. It was so late, and your side of the bed was cold…I guess my insecurities finally found their way back to me. And I was thinking…'who the fuck is it? I'll fucking kill her.' Do you understand how screwed up that is?! This is not my life!"

She was shaking now, fists clenched and fire in her eyes that reminded me of just a few hours ago, in this bed…

But she didn't want me like that. Not anymore. She sighed, drawing me back from my thoughts.

"You're amazing, Edward. You're so goddamn amazing. But we'll destroy each other. You know that, right? You said you always wanted me, that you dreamt of me being in your life, of last night. I dreamt that, too. But that's all it was. This can't happen between us, not anymore."

"You said…"

"I KNOW what I said, Edward. It was the ramblings of a crazy woman in the throes of passion. Desperation. Loneliness. I don't…I don't know. This, though…this is too much. What's going on here is too much. It's suffocating."

"I'd never hurt you, Isabella. Never! I would worship you. I'd keep you safe. I'd be faithful to you. We could build…"

"Build what, Edward? A fucking drug den? Another club for me to shoot up?"

I winced, ashamed of who I was and flying through our night together, the memories fading with each painful word that flowed through her perfect lips. Lips that had captured my own, whispered the words I had always prayed to hear, cried my name, promised me forever.

She sighed, rubbing her face before looking at me, eyes damp with emotion as the sunlight magnified her beauty, taunting me with something just out of reach once again.

"That was…okay, that was really out of line. I apologize, Edward. I didn't mean that. I'm just, I'm out of my element right now. I needed time to think, and that hasn't changed. I need to be out of your orbit. This isn't reality with you. This is reckless, and confusing. I need to talk to Alice, and…oh god. My parents. My dad. Oh, what have I done…" her lip started to quiver, a tear breaking free, rolling down her cheek.

"You protected me, _mia bella_. And you did it so spectacularly. Don't turn it into something it's not. It was self-defense."

"Is that what you tell yourself everyday so you can sleep at night?" she snapped, but seemed to regret it as soon as the words were said, one of her hands flying up to cover her mouth in shock.

I laughed drily, attempting not to lose my fucking shit. I needed to steer this in a different direction, before my temper got the best of me. "No, Isabella. And nothing I do is without much thought. And that includes you. I made a decision to stay away from you for years on the pretense of keeping you safe. I thought you were so much better than me, than this life, than what I could offer you. So many fucking years flew by, so damn fast. I was losing myself, too. The Cosa Nostra, it's not…there's not a choice. Not for me. Not in anything. But you…with you, I had a semblance of control. Here you came, crashing into my life so unexpectedly. God, Isabella…the first time I saw you on campus…the day of the game…I thought my heart stopped."

She smiled at the mention of that. It seemed a lifetime ago.

"You were so hot!" she giggled, and I couldn't help but smile as I shook my head, relieved in the change of her tone.

"I have to do this…to be this. You? You were _free_. It was like…fuck, I don't know. Like you represented this whole life that I wanted so badly. Unsullied, every option in the world at your fingertips, every opportunity at your disposal. I did a background check, you know. I couldn't get you out of my mind, and I'd never felt like that before."

"Really, Edward?" she laughed. "Typical college student shit." she said sarcastically.

"Hey princess, I never claimed to be. Just said that I _wished_ I was. You have to understand, at that point it was time for me to graduate. My whole 'fake normal' thing, it was coming to an end. I was gearing up to cut ties with everyone. It wasn't a big deal, really. Most people were just random acquaintances. But I had my eyes on you, and I had a friend; things got complicated."

"What happened to your _friend_?" she sneered.

Ah…jealousy. I recognized that. I also knew it wouldn't exist without a deeper emotion behind it, and the thought made me hopeful.

"My _friend_ was my roommate, thank you very much. And he was a great guy, a great teammate. Honest. Had my back. He was the kind of friend that isn't typical for someone in my line of work, but somehow fits perfectly. It was…well, it was really fucking difficult to walk away from that, from my first genuine friend. Someone who didn't want something from me."

"Why did you?" she asked sadly.

I sighed. This wasn't the line of questioning I thought we'd be focusing on this morning. But Isabella was softening around the edges the more I spoke, seeing me as Edward, not as Mafioso.

"He was too good. I couldn't willingly subject him to this life. It was the same with you. Was he in the dark? Probably not. Who knows. Could I have kept him in the dark? About the details, sure. Probably. Did that keep him safe? Would it keep you safe? No. Absolutely not. As soon as we'd be affiliated, you'd be in the crosshairs. It wouldn't matter if it were innocent, if you were truly ignorant to my nature, if you were blind to the business. You'd be important to me in some way, so you'd be a means to an end for my enemies. End of story."

Her face hardened, eyes narrowing on me. "But you did it anyways, didn't you? You dragged me in anyways. And now I'll never escape, will I? Is that what you wanted? Was this some sort of fucking plan? You seem to have a lot of those."

I rubbed my chest, willing the tightening and the pain away before grabbing her hands in my own. "I couldn't deny it any more! Don't you understand that?! I was being pressured by my grandfather about settling down. I was surrounded by my parents, living with one foot in The Family and the other in normality. I was losing focus, going about the motions but turning numb. I was questioning decisions that I shouldn't have. Why couldn't I have happiness?! Why was that okay for anyone but me?!"

Her tears were falling steadily now, and it broke my heart. But I wanted her to see. I _needed_ her to see.

"I never had a say in anything. _Ever_. Staying away from you was the first real accomplishment that was my own. The first goal I had that was a selfish one, that no one could control but _me_. I _needed_ the control. I was fucking blind to everything but. And you provided that. I was in a whirlwind when I became Don, and no matter how out of control everything around me was, is, YOU I could control. Staying away, keeping you safe…THAT could be controlled."

"So what the hell is this, Edward? Last night…the demands every time we've seen each other…is this a game or something? Am I some kind of experiment in _control_?"

"No! But you were this ideal that I wanted protected! That I wanted for my own! A secret that could be just for me in a world where NOTHING was for me, EVERYTHING is for The Family!"

"What changed? Why now?"

"I saw you. Well, a picture of you…in the paper. Something about your new storefront downtown. I had been having you watched periodically…just someone checking in, making sure you had a good life, were safe. They were ordered to keep details from me. It hurt too much at that point, another disappointment of my own making in a long fucking line of them. My grandfather was interested…it set me off. I knew he'd have you looked into, which meant another ping on the radar. The head of the Cullen Family and the Capo di Capi Re? Not good. That's…that's fucking red flags all over the place. You were going to be watched, there was no avoiding it. And not by us."

"So is that all this is? Some misguided, fucked up attempt at shielding me?"

"No! I blew up at him! Disrespected him which is, for the record, not fucking okay. It was my mother who convinced me that the way I was living couldn't continue."

"Esme!? She knew about me?!" I could see the doubt in her eyes, seeing the gears move. She was second guessing herself, thinking about her business, wondering if she had been played.

"Don't. Don't do that. Don't think that what you have with Esme is wrong. That deal with AWD…that's all you, baby. She respected you guys long before she knew what I felt." She gave me a small smile, relief evident on her face.

"She told me I couldn't live this way, couldn't be Don alone. I couldn't carry this weight without someone to share my burden…basically reiterating what I had been taught from an early age. Respect the wives. Respect the mothers. They hold the power; they keep the business together. She knew there'd be a problem now that my grandfather was going to look into you. She basically said to man up." We both laughed, Isabella now familiar with the way my mother doesn't mince words. "She helped me realize that if anyone could keep you safe, it would be me. That no one would do it better. And I think a part of me knew that, just too scared to fucking admit it to myself. I had already been fighting for you, after all those years. It was like I was just delaying the inevitable."

"So where does that leave us, Edward? Nothing's changed. You can't keep me in a bubble. I have a life, a business. How could I ever be safe in your world? You can't control me."

I cupped her chin and leaned forward, brushing my lips lightly over hers, praying she'd allow it, that she felt the electricity that I did. She sighed, allowing me the cherished contact.

"I can control you, _mia bella_. Just as you control me. I think it makes us strong. I think it means we're evenly matched."

"Personally, I think it means you have some serious problems with obsession and domination."

I chuckled, not bothering to deny it, and she grinned when I shrugged. "I'm sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with the Cullens, me in particular."

"I'd kill to be a fly on that wall!" she giggled, then sobered suddenly. "Edward, I killed a man."

"Would it help to know that he already had one foot in the grave?" No hiding now. I wanted her to make her decision with eyes wide open.

"I don't know if I can do this. I'm so fucking scared."

"You should be, baby. But you're so fucking strong, too. You're meant to be at my side."

"You hardly know me, Edward."

I shook my head, refusing to let her even think it. "I do know you, Isabella. Better than anyone. I know every moan, every cry. Your dreams, meant only for me. I know you're smart, so fucking smart. Successful. Driven. Dedicated. Loyal. Brave. Creative. A wicked aim. And capable of the fiercest, most unbelievable kind of love, even if it scares the shit out of you. Even if you deny it."

She smiled, squeezing my hands before wrapping her arms around me. I melted into her, wondering if she'd take this comfort away from me again. Would I always be on pins and needles, wondering if she'd run? I'd have to think about that later. For now, I needed her to stay. I needed today. I needed time.

"Come with me to my parents."

"Edward…"

" _Please_ , Isabella. I want you to…I don't know. Understand, maybe. We have brunch on Sundays. It's just…it's expected. I know we'll be late, but…but I'd like if you could come with, see for yourself maybe just a part of who I am, and why…"

"I don't have any clothes, Edward. I already made a fool of myself in front of Esme and luckily that was repairable. I'm not sure this is…"

"Isabella! For once, could this maybe _not_ be about business?"

We stared at each other for a beat, challenging, before we both burst out laughing, tension dissipating by the second.

Keep her smiling, Cullen. Keep her happy. Then you have a chance.

"Rich coming from you, Edward. Entertaining to the last."

"Only for you, baby. Hey, if you want…space…okay. I get it. I know this is…not an ideal situation. But, I only want you to take that time after you have all the information. Give me today…no…give me a week. One week."

"One week?"

"Please."

She mulled it over quietly, her eyes studying my face before she turned her head purposefully towards the nightstand. The gun was laying there, and her cheeks flushed scarlet before she reached over for it, revealing more of her creamy skin. She held it in her hands as if judging the weight, and looked up at me with a vulnerability that I couldn't remember seeing before. Or maybe I had never wanted to see it.

"I'm sorry."

It was me that spoke, staring at the gun, at everything it represented. My life, dragging down the one person I cared about the most. Failure. Loneliness. Twisting her innocence into something that fit my vision of her, that fit my fucked up life.

I didn't know everything I was apologizing for, but it seemed like the right sentiment.

"Don't be. This…this isn't _just_ a bad thing, Edward. I…I have to think about what I've done. I have to come to terms with that, and that's not your fault. I made that choice. I…picked up that gun, and I wasn't even thinking. It just _unleashed_ something in me. And I'm afraid of that part of me. I'm afraid that I have had something lying dormant that…is destructive. But what happened between us…here…I wouldn't change that. I felt empowered. I think for the first time in my life, I felt sexy. I felt amazing. So if you bring out that side in me…I could never regret that. Never. It's all the other shit that I need to wrap my head around."

We stared at each other, both understanding the importance of what was said, what had been done. Everything with her had been important.

And it always would be.

I revolved around her, hypnotized by her, pulled to her in every way possible.

Please God. Please please let me get what I want.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

BPOV

The sunshine was glorious and brief, but after a short burst of rain the sky morphed quickly into the misty, grey coolness that is typical of most Seattle days. I was lost in the view from Edward's when I was overcome with an odd memory that I had forgotten entirely, somehow pushed into the dark recesses of my mind.

When I was 16, my dad bought me a car. A rundown, sun and salt water-faded red Chevy truck, sputtering to life each morning before school, rumbling along our crumbled, pothole-lined gravel road to alert anyone within 10 miles of my presence. He claimed it had 'personality' that befit mine. I, however, saw it for what it was: a beacon announcing my suppression, a glaring dark mark on the socially oppressed. Who wanted to hang out with the police chief's daughter? Who'd want to share their secrets with, let go of their inhibitions around, cause the carefree mischief that makes high school years bearable with someone who couldn't be trusted?

One night while Alice's parents were out of town for the weekend, an occurrence more often than not, the two of us snuck a bottle of Seagram's from the overabundant liquor cabinet, wisely choosing the one furthest back that had the slight layer of grey dust that signified its level of forgotten-ness. Armed with a two liter of the generic lemon lime soda that I stole from my own pantry – rebellious, I know – we sunk into the artfully worn leather theater chairs in the Whitlock's movie room, giggling over our drinks and whispering our hopes, and worries, and what-ifs. It was our favorite times together, pretending for just an evening that we were older than we were, smarter than we were, more exciting than we were.

I voiced my envy of her light-heartedness, her goodness, her fabulousness that made me feel like an umbrella of dullness blocking her sunshine. Alice bemoaned her own ability to focus, overactive imagination, jealousy of me. She said I always knew just what to say, the quickest comeback, the cleverest insult, while for her, it was hours later that it would suddenly pop up in her head what should have been said. Then we'd spend the rest of the night, lightheaded and carefree, assuring one another that we were equally awesome, equally badass, made solely to be the other's best friend to balance each others weaknesses.

And while I knew that Alice was honest with me, a part of me wondered if she could see it in my face: lies, uneasiness, defeat. She had it all planned, and it was assumed that I'd be along for the ride. But even at that age, I felt like something was wrong. Maybe something was missing…something inside of me. She appealed to my analytical side – a puzzle to be solved, arranged, put into order. I didn't think that was a normal way to look at someone I loved, always an outsider looking in. But I didn't know another way to be, and wondered if it was simply normal teenage angst that put the weight of the world on my shoulders when the opposite was true.

The next morning, mouth fuzzy with the remnants of liquor, junk food, and unbrushed teeth, hair knotted and smeared mascara below our eyes, we stumbled to right our mess and went our separate ways. And as was our ritual, the words said the night before would never be spoken of again.

I remember climbing into the bench in my truck, the vinyl cold against my thighs from the damp Washington morning, the cool mist soaked into every surface of me and sparking a shiver. I started the car and then rubbed my hands together, looking for warmth that wouldn't come from my sputtering heater. The worst part about a hangover is the brightness, something that hasn't changed with age or wisdom. And not the brightness from the sun, or from a bathroom vanity, or from the fluorescent light bulb-lined hallways at school or work that make your bloodshot eyes ache. But the moment when you remember what you said, what you did, and somehow it's over-exposed, hyper pigmented. Like you're watching a film flicker before you with a magnifying glass in the most glorious, terrifying HD.

I was concentrating in that moment on the words I said, why I said them. Why didn't I tell Alice my fears? Why haven't I told her that I thought something was wrong with me, that I thought too much, cared too much, but then somehow didn't care enough about things that seemed human, or normal. The roads twisted in the lush green, the treetops disappearing in the foggy rain. It was then that I felt a bump, light but obvious, the steering wheel groaning out of control before I pumped the brakes and eased to a stop.

My heart was racing, categorizing what could have happened, what I should do next. I was sober, but could smell the gin seeping from my pores, so calling my father was not an option. He'd then know the Whitlocks were out of town, would be able to see the nervousness in my eyes, and my brief tastes of freedom and reprieves from boredom would come to a screeching halt.

I pumped myself up to open the door, praying I just hit a fallen branch, or perhaps a piece of trash, and the door creaked open in protest as I stepped from the car.

About 10 yards behind me, I could see a lump of brown on the muddy road laying between my set of tire tracks. I could see its body heaving up and down wildly, but no struggle.

I walked closer to the animal, praying it wasn't rabid or something particularly dangerous, and my curiosity grew as I moved near. A dog, a wild one if I could gauge its looks, but beautiful just the same. Ribs slightly poking through its matted fur, no movement of its head or legs, but one wide brown eye on me watching my every move with a whimper of hope and then a slight growl. I had never hit anything with a vehicle, much less an animal…I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave it, but couldn't call my dad. He'd probably forbid me from driving. Alice was out of the question…she'd freak. My mom would lose her shit. No…no.

Flashes of the conversations with Alice assaulted me. She said that I was so good under pressure. That it was my best quality.

Let's see if she was right.

I'd take care of this.

I walked back to my truck, my boots scraping against the ground and feeling like lead. I opened the tailgate and grabbed a piece of tarp that was wrapped tightly, holding within it a tattered old sleeping bag that I kept rolling along the bed for any impromptu beach trips. I unhooked the old furniture straps I had used to bundle it and walked back to the injured dog. I tried to ballpark its weight…maybe 30 pounds at most, twisted and frozen enough in pain to hopefully transport with ease.

I wrapped the sleeping bag around the animal, half rolling it onto the tarp, its form still but conscious. I grabbed the four corners of the tarp and lifted as gently as I could, walking it back to the truck and laying it onto the bed. It slid easily on the wet metal surface, and I pushed it back as best as I could before slamming the tailgate and getting back into the cab.

Once I was back in the warm truck, I was out of ideas. The closest vet was…well…not close at all. I looked through the back window at the dog, still breathing but eyes now closed. I didn't see any blood, so maybe he was just sore? Maybe it wasn't anything too serious?

Mind made up and newly determined, I decided to drive back home and sneak the dog into one of our wood sheds towards the back of our property. Dad used it mostly for rusted tools and bikes that would never be used but he was too sentimental or stubborn to toss, and I don't think anyone had even touched the place in the last several years. I could nurse it back to health. How hard could it be?

Days went by, sneaking leftover food and water to the animal, keeping him bundled as best as I could. He drank some water that I trickled into its mouth, but hadn't eaten. Its breaths were hollow, rattling, shaking the walls of the shed with their raspy sound of inevitability. My anger only grew at the beast. Why wouldn't he fucking eat? Why wouldn't he stand? How the hell could it possibly improve if it didn't try?

It was my first lesson in mortality: 'mind over matter' did not work in all aspects of life.

Finally admitting my defeat one morning, I dragged my feet into the house to ask for help. Maybe my dad knew someone on the nearby reservation. They were great with local wildlife, self-sufficient. I found him sitting at the aged oak table in the kitchen, reading the paper and sipping a cup of black coffee, his morning ritual next to burnt dry wheat toast and one fried egg, over easy.

I told him what had happened, explained that I was inclined to bring the animal home, nurse it back to health in some stupidly hopeful way that comes standard with immaturity. I guess he thought it was some sort of lesson, or maybe just angry that I had kept a secret…I'm not sure. But somehow, he left for work that day with orders for me to put the dog out of its misery. He said it was suffering, that what I was doing was selfish, that I needed to take responsibility.

I nodded my head, forever the responsible and dutiful daughter.

I went to the basement, grabbing the shotgun that I had practiced with for many years. It brought back memories of fun times when my dad would laugh freely, shooting cans and targets in the backyard during the rare, warm sunny days. When I reached the shed, my nerves caused me to pause, my hand shaking around the door handle. But once I went inside, looking down at the sad creature in the tattered blankets on the knotty pine floor, it began to snarl. Its eyes were wild, bloodshot, teeth salivating. It still struggled with each breath, but maybe it sensed the danger in me. Or maybe I just didn't want to see it for what it really was. It snapped at my feet, and immediately the nerves stopped. I straightened my shoulders, leaning my head to the side while inspecting the dog in a new light. He was suffering. I had allowed it for too long.

I had been given a job to do. I couldn't let my father down. I had to right a wrong.

I lifted the rifle, cocking it and looking down at him.

I didn't hesitate.

I wrapped the dog in tarp again, carrying it deeper into the woods to bury. It was gory, and sad. But it was necessary. It was responsible. I _had_ killed. It seemed too insignificant to remember; I washed my hands of it until now, hadn't thought about it again. But why?

Edward had sent someone out to buy me clothes, coming back with a rack full of options that he snuck into one side of his closet when my back was turned. It didn't slip my notice that half had been empty, along with an empty dresser and one empty nightstand. Maybe he really was waiting for me. Maybe this was inevitable, and I was fighting a useless battle once again.

I felt like the wounded dog, sheltered with no choice in the matter. Fed, kept warm, sweet words morbidly whispered that everything would be okay. Fight or flight in the midst of danger.

Hell, maybe it was just my subconscious reminding me that I am immature, weak and foolish.

We were in the back of another nondescript black sedan, Emmett twisting through streets that grew increasingly rural. Lush forest, damp with light rain, winding roads that reminded me of that cool morning with the sad dog. And that's when it hit me, dread sinking deep into my stomach.

Maybe the reason this memory made its way back to me was that it pointed out a deeper problem within my psyche. Compassionate, hopeful on the outside. But cold and capable to do the dirty work when needed. I'd seen glimpses over the years...reactions to certain things, my relationship with Jacob. I didn't feel pain or discomfort when things went wrong. It usually invigorated me, a domino effect that shut down emotion.

For how much I doubted Edward, that small, nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that it was dangerous to be with him, I couldn't help but wonder if _he_ were the one who was like the dog. Unsuspecting victim, snarling and growling before lulled into a false sense of safety and put out of his misery.

No. I wouldn't allow that. I don't understand what was occurring within me, but I wasn't going to fight this anymore. I wasn't going to be cruel. I wasn't going to shut down. It was time for me to be the person that Alice saw all those years ago, that she has always seen but I failed to notice.

I looked over to Edward, reaching across and squeezing his hand lightly. He smiled at me, warm and loving in the way that made me melt.

I didn't want to think about that morning anymore, about the disappointment on my dad's face, about the dog, about the shed or the woods.

I just needed to figure out how to keep from being the one behind the trigger once again…when a piece of me has awoken that relished it.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

BPOV

The Cullen estate was a sprawling expanse of overindulgence which I found to be a common theme in their family, at least where their son was concerned. Despite its ridiculous size, stone columns, and lush gardens, something seemed welcoming and familiar about it, like the warm embrace of an old friend. The stone facade looked like it could be intimidating to some, but beckoned to me, and knowing that Esme was inside helped to soothe the nerves just a little.

I twisted my phone in my hands, a new one that magically appeared and was presented to me by Emmett when we reached the car. I wanted to call Alice, but had been avoiding it.

Edward was helping me out of the car when his phone began to ring. He looked at the screen and frowned, looking up to me like he was debating its importance.

"It's okay, Edward. You don't have to ask permission. I understand how...business is."

"I don't want to..."

"Seriously...don't worry about it. I guess I'd have to get used to this, right?"

The words made him smile, and he looked relieved at my reaction.

"I need to take this call, Isabella. You're welcome to tour the gardens before we go inside. There's no hurry."

"Actually, I'm going to give Alice a call if that's okay. I'll come find you when I'm finished."

He gave me a nod and leaned forward, brushing his lips softly against my cheek before walking briskly to another area of the lawn, Emmett hot on his heels and talking animatedly on his own phone.

I walked a few minutes until I found a circle of marble benches surrounded by sweet smelling rose bushes overlooking a small fountain. The rain had stopped, but the calming silence that comes directly after rainfall enveloped the property, allowing me to take a deep, contented breath for the first time in days. I felt at home here. I'm sure that had a deeper meaning.

Which is why I needed Alice. I needed my best friend. The longer I buried myself in my own thoughts, the more I would muck things up.

There was barely a full ring when she answered with a squeal.

"Bells! Oh my God, I've been dying to hear from you!"

Great choice of words, Al.

"What's going on? Are you still at Edward's? Jazz wanted me to call you but I told him you were perfectly fine. He kept digging but I didn't want to give him specifics because you know how he can get. He's a nervous wreck if he can't get a good feel on a situation. You're gonna have to spill to him, though. No avoiding it!" she laughed, causing me to smile at how quickly and efficiently the two of them always effected my moods.

"Yeah yeah…remind him that he's my honorary big brother for a reason. That usually gets him to smile and shut up."

I could hear her draw a deep breath, knowing that she was itching for details. Details that normally, I would only selectively give. But if I was going to do this, I needed her with me. She kept me sane, kept me grounded. And she never bullshit me. Never. Time to unleash the little monster.

"Go ahead, Al."

"What happened?! You were there one minute and then the next, Em is telling us you were taking off with Edward! I had a good feeling, though. You know how that goes. Did you guys hook up? I know you slept together. Don't tell me details…wait…scratch that. I need all the details. Specific. Measurements if you've got them. And you should have seen Rose with Emmett…sweet Jesus it was hot. Jasper wasn't too enthusiastic about it but he was cool with Em so he couldn't really complain. As if Rose would let him give her shit anyways. Where are you? Is he still with you? When are you coming home? We don't have anything going on tomorrow until 11-ish, so I wasn't even going into the office until then. But Victoria…"

"Alice! Breathe!" I laughed, causing her own giggles.

I heard the muffled sound of a door shutting over the phone, and knew that meant the conversation was going to turn serious. It made goose bumps run along my arms, but this is what I wanted to talk to her about. It was best to get it over with, pave the way for future conversation.

I didn't know what I could tell her, but if I was going to be a part of Edward's life, didn't that mean that to an extent, my loved ones would, too? I could never cut off contact with them. I know it was selfish, but the mere thought of it was causing me to hyperventilate. It was something I'd have to discuss with him before we moved forward.

"Alright, Bells. Jasper's in the living room watching some game…he couldn't hear me anyways but just in case he got up for some reason…well…I have a feeling we're talking about the heavy right now, and I don't want you to think he's listening in."

"I appreciate it, Al. I'll tell Jasper everything, I promise. I don't want you keeping things from him. I just need a little time to process."

"I get it, Bella. Don't sweat it. What are sisters for?" I smiled. She always said that when she could tell I was stressed. It was the perfect words that I needed whenever I had a lot on my mind.

"It's true, Alice. He's…he's in…"

"Don't say it, girl. Not on the phone. I got it. So…how do you feel about it?"

"So much to process! Too much! It's so scary, and so fucking dangerous. I'm afraid."

"Do you think he'd hurt you or something? I didn't get that impression. I would never have let you leave with him if you'd just told me."

"No, no. Not like that, Alice. He'd never hurt me. Something changed between us. Maybe an understanding. More than that. He just _gets_ me, Al. And he's seen my craziness already. You know the kind."

"The overanalyzing and doubting yourself, hmm? The famous Bella strikes again."

I chuckled at her assessment. She always knew, with minimal words.

"So what are you afraid of, Bella?"

The dreaded question.

I hung my head between my hands, scared to say the words. This is why I called her. It didn't mean I was going to like it, but it was what I needed.

"I've been so polarizing. Trying to...trying to reconcile who I was, who I am, who I want to be. Who I am when I'm with him, Alice. It's…it's not healthy. It's not me."

"Or maybe it is you, but it's the version you've been hiding all these years. Maybe you needed someone special to get you to open up."

"Al, I don't know if that's a good thing. I've done…I did something horrible. At the club. It was…I knew it was bad. It happened so fast, and afterwards…no matter how sick it made me feel, at the same time it was like…it was a _relief_. Like…I don't know. Maybe like I was stretching after sitting still for too long. Jesus, I never make any damn sense."

"That's what I'm here for, Bells. You'd drive yourself crazy without your bestie."

I smiled, loving my dear friend even more.

"Bella, I don't know what happened. I'm guessing that it was pretty fucking bad if you're freaking over it. And if the stuff is true…I'm guessing it had something to do with that?"

"Yeah, Al. I think so. Edward was in trouble. I couldn't let him be hurt. He was…someone was going to…"

"Shh…Bells, it's okay. It sounds like you stepped up to the plate. What's to be afraid of?"

"It was bad, Alice. You should hate me right now. It was…I kil…"

"STOP! Stop right there, Bella. Don't say it. Don't you fucking say it. We leave that for when you get home, okay?"

I nodded, knowing she couldn't see it but unable to find words.

"Listen to me, Bella. I'm not saying what happened is okay, because it sure as hell isn't. But I know you, I trust you and I know what an amazing person you are. You try to hide things, but I see through it and it still doesn't change my opinion of you, because I get you. We get each other - always have. You've always been so brave and so smart, even if you don't think so. I know that you wouldn't do something like that unless it was necessary. You're not like that."

"That's why I'm scared, Al. What if I _am_ like that? He's opening up this entire new world to me and without a second thought, one foot was already through the door. I don't know what it says about me, about what I'm capable of. My parents…oh Alice…my dad! He'd be so fucking ashamed of me…"

"Bella," she said quietly, soothing. "You had an idea of who he was before you left with him. That he could be capable of…certain things. At least some part of you had to be okay with that, even if you were in denial."

"Not okay with it. Just…like it was this factor that was non-negotiable. There were more important things to consider."

"This isn't a business deal, Bella. You're the best when it comes to that…but this is new ground for you. I think you're afraid of the fact that this is out of your control. You're not used to that. You're not comfortable with it. Never have been."

"It's not about controlling my life, Al, it's about…" I thought about my night with Edward, our argument this morning. I thought my skepticism was about the violence, about the rumors, about the things I had done. But was it simpler than that?

"Ha! You know I'm right! You don't have him under your thumb in the way that you need. He could very well worship you but he's got all this other shit going on. Variables that are out of your control."

"I think you're right, Alice. We actually…we got into a fight this morning. It was kind of bad…not him. But me. I said some things that I regret."

"Classic Bells!" she laughed.

"Yep…classic fucking Bella. Anyways, the control came up. I guess I feel like he's the one with all the power and I'm struggling with it."

"You're used to dominating a whole relationship. Work, friends, any guys from the past."

"That's not true!"

"Oh yes it fucking is, Bella Swan. It's like pulling teeth with you. Even going shopping last week…it drives you insane every time. You're lucky I love you so much."

"I don't…Al, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like that. Lately I just feel like…like my life has never been mine, you know? Like I've been floating outside my body, just watching me move and react to situations but never really…I don't fucking know. Never having a hand in them, I guess."

"You're so confident with work, Bells. I thought you'd really been coming out of your shell the past few years…"

"It's not you, Alice. You and Jasper are so freaking amazing. You always have been. And AWD…that's different. I come alive there."

"Because you can control it. You make the situations you're in, so you have ultimate control."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So live a little, Bells."

I chucked half-heartedly.

"Not sure it's that simple, Alice."

"I think it is. I think it always is. You have a choice, Bella. How does he make you feel?"

"Are you serious, Al? Never took you as the type to turn a blind eye to law breaking."

"Meh, I could take it or leave it. I'm a romantic first and foremost. And you're my sister. You're, like, equal to Jazz or something. Just don't tell him that." We laughed, tension slowly dissipating.

"But if I…if I change…there's no turning back from this, Al."

"Sweetie, I think you changed the moment you saw Edward again. Is the feeling you have when you're with him worth living without? Don't worry about the other stuff, because it is my sworn duty as BFF to not allow you to lose your shit."

"I couldn't live without him, Alice. I know that now. I don't know how…ugh! I just…I _know_. As soon as I left with him last night…it just felt final."

"You just wanted me on board?"

"Not just that. More like, I wanted the one last chance to change my mind. For you to convince me. Give me an out."

"Oh Bella," she sighed, "You can change your mind I suppose, but you can't change your heart. You're in, or you're out. You know that. You didn't need to hear me say it."

"I love him, Alice. It's fucking crazy. I don't understand."

"You're not supposed to."

"Is this how it felt with Jasper?"

"Well, without the added danger." She giggled, causing me to laugh a little too loudly, echo bouncing back to me from the water. But the words that followed echoed just the same. "When I laid eyes on him, that was it. It was done. There wasn't anything to think about. Like a shift in gravity. I'd deal with the other shit as it came. And it'd be easier, because it'd be with him."

It would be easier with him. Maybe I would lose the safety net of control, but just look at all I would gain. I was going to be put into dangerous situations time and time again; I wasn't naïve enough to deny that. But we'd be together. We'd deal with it together.

"Alice…you've always got just what I need." I smiled.

"And don't you forget it, missy! When am I going to see your beautiful face?"

"Tonight. I'll be home tonight, I promise."

"Great! I want to hear about the…other stuff…as soon as you get here. Especially the juicy details! I'll order out. Jazz is meeting up with friends for dinner and drinks, so we can shove egg rolls in our faces in a judgment-free zone."

My laughter burst out again, and I felt a presence behind me. I looked over my shoulder to find Edward standing a few feet behind me, arms crossed but a warm smile on his face.

"That sounds amazing, Al. I'll pick up some random wine that doesn't go with anything and the chocolate ice cream."

"Ooooh…an ice cream conversation!"

"Yeah…definitely one of those. Love you, Al."

We exchanged our goodbyes, and I tucked my phone back into my purse, standing up confidently.

"Ready for the wolves, _mia bella_?"

I wrapped my arm around his, pressing my body close and causing a shocked look on his face. It made my heart ache; I didn't want him to be surprised by my affection. I wanted him to expect it. I wanted it to be second nature. I was ready to show him, ease his fears. I'd never hurt him, so it was time for me to start acting like it. But first…time to meet the Cullens.

"With you, Edward? I'm ready for anything."


	16. Chapter 16

**_AN -_** Look at that! A ton of chapters this week! The truth is that I start with a new company soon, so I wanted to get a bunch of them out there on the off-chance that I get overwhelmed for awhile. I'll still post weekly, so don't worry your little heads ;)

Thank you all for the reviews, too! I never understood why authors begged for them, but now I kind of get it. I'm surprised by how much my mood is tied to them. I get a handful of encouraging ones and then one negative sends me into a tailspin. It's kind of crazy! I have actually not read a good chunk of the reviews for my lemons because they were the first I had ever done, and I was just a ball of nerves posting them. I'll get to it once I can work myself up for it! lol

I actually wanted to take a sec to respond to a message I had. It was anon, so I couldn't respond. They were upset that I didn't thank other people for passing along the word about my story. The fact of the matter is, I have just started spreading my wings in message boards, blogs, etc. It didn't come from some malicious place. I quite frankly am unaware of everything anyone says about the story, so I apologize. And I appreciate anyone who has rec'd this. Please know that I'm not intentionally ignoring you. I'd love to give you shout outs! You're my bread and butter! There's just no way for me to know unless someone either tells me or points me in that direction :)

As always, I hope you enjoy.

Xx

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 ** _Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox_**

BPOV

We walked up to the grand entrance, a pair of stately wood doors that closed with a set of imposing handles with rich patinas. I knew the inside of the house would be amazing since I had several experiences with Esme's work, but my expectations fell incredibly short. My nude Louboutins would have normally echoed in a stone foyer of this size, but her love of oversized furniture, plush area rugs, and modern rustic pieces filled the space with cozy, softening elements.

Edward removed his suit coat and opened a nearby door to a large mudroom lined with coat hooks and benches showcasing the aged red oriental rug on the floor. It was absolutely jaw dropping, and my eyes widened at every piece of perfection, attempting to memorize each detail that I could see integrated into our new office. Somehow, this felt like _home_. I don't think I had ever lived in a place that truly had. Not like this. I wanted to sink into each chair, each window seat, each corner. I could see Edward and I in a home like this one...

Whoa.

"Edward, this is truly remarkable. Your mother is beyond talented."

"She'll be thrilled to hear you say that," he replied, his crooked grin sending a jolt through my body. "She respects you and Alice so much. A compliment from peers is always welcome."

I heard the quick clicking of heels accompanying genuine laughter.

"Actually, all compliments are welcome. Preferably if they are directed towards me. The more, the merrier!"

Esme made her way towards me, enveloping me in a kind embrace and drawing my own nervous giggle.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'm on your side." She whispered in my ear before giving my arms a squeeze and making her way to her son. I suppose the words were meant to comfort me in some way, but they only added to my anxiety. 'On your side'? Well what did that mean? Who the hell wasn't?

This wasn't fucking going to go well.

Esme and Edward were laughing while she tried to smooth his hair, chastising him about a hair cut. God, I hope he didn't cut that gorgeous hair. I loved to grab onto it…

"…and Edward said you've had the opportunity to see a small portion of the gardens. What do you think? I hope my own home hasn't given you any doubts."

Edward was giving me a knowing grin at my blatant ogling, and thankfully motioned to his mother to get my attention.

Snap out of it, Bella! Damn it! Must you always make an ass out of yourself in front of her?

"Esme, it's positively gorgeous. I'm afraid Edward made a mistake in bringing me here," he started to frown, but I gave him a wink as I continued, "I don't think I'll ever want to leave. You may need to drag me out kicking and screaming after brunch."

"You know what, Bella…it's so funny that you say that. When we saw you two pull onto the property, Carlisle started to make a tray of mimosas. But I immediately grabbed a pitcher and dumped in as many bottles as I could. So trust me, honey…I don't plan on you leaving."

I started to respond, but she looped her arm into mine and started on a whirlwind tour, pointing out each repurposed piece of barn wood, antique hutch, family photo and decorative pillow. Every inch of the space had a story: its past, or how she stumbled upon it, or a memory of a Christmas morning or a rainy day snuggled up to read a great book. Every word drew me a little more into Edward's world, into the loving aspect that I had forgotten about entirely.

His childhood was spent here. He was rocked in the chair in the library, an estate sale find when Esme was a newlywed. He scraped his knee in the hallway leading to her office. The second window on the left side of the formal dining room was replaced after he didn't heed a warning about playing ball in the house. His graduation picture was taken in front of the massive stone fireplace, his first tooth lost when he fell down the basement stairs.

I soaked in every flashback, reaching my hand out to run along the walls and the board and batten, urging the memories from each room to seep into me as if they were my own. I looked back at Edward during each story, who had been following behind us silently, hands clasped in front of him and a smile on his face. Each time our eyes met immediately, his trying to convey an emotion that made my breath catch and my face warm with blush.

Damn.

I could make a million babies with this man.

"Listen to me rambling on…we've got plenty of time for all of this. Thank you for indulging me, Bella. Lord knows the men around here don't. I keep reminding them that they don't deserve me. Now I've got you to help me keep the Cullen boys in line, and I need all the help I can get. I fear così fan tutte, that is the way of all women!"

We were mid-laughter when Esme stopped and smiled at something behind me, causing me to turn and see a handsome man striding towards us. It was obvious that he was Edward's father, even with his vivid blue eyes and blonde hair. He shared the same angular features, crooked grin, and a look on his face as he smiled at Esme that was nearly identical to the one Edward always had for me. It made me feel like I was intruding on an intimate moment, and I shifted uncomfortably. I felt a warm hand on the small of my back as Edward stepped next to me and gently kissed the top of my head, pulling me close to his side.

"Chi più sa, meno parla, he who knows most, talks least, dear." He teased as he shook my hand in greeting and put his arm effectionately around his wife. "And you must be Bella. I've heard so much about you. It's wonderful to meet you."

"Thank you for having me in your home, Mr. Cullen. It's absolutely astonishing."

"That's all my beautiful wife's doing, as I'm sure she reminded you. I'm lucky she even lets me stay here. And please, call me Carlisle."

I gave him a small smile and nodded as we all started to walk down a long hallway towards the kitchen. When we entered, I gasped at the sight of it. Quartz countertops that seemed miles long, built-in appliances, uneven glazed brick flooring that tied into the copper sink and range hood. I noticed a brick pizza oven, blackened with frequent use.

"What do you think, baby?" Edward whispered in my ear. I couldn't believe he had to ask, but then I remembered that there _were_ a lot of things we didn't know about each other. Time to start learning.

"Amazing. Everything here has been a fantasy. I love to cook…so I'd spend days in here if I could."

"My mother does, from time to time. She bottles her own marinara and olive oil, so she buckles down in here to make a stockpile a few times a year. She gives a lot out to family, neighbors, um…associates."

I squeezed his hand, about to respond with a smart ass comment when I heard someone clear their throat.

An older gentleman with a full head of salt and pepper hair was seated at a farm table in the center of the room. He tossed his white linen napkin onto the tabletop before rising and making his way towards us. Each step of his was regal, and he held his head high while giving me a calculated stare. There was no trace of humor on his face, and silence fell over the room. Esme crossed her arms, tapping one of her shoes while shaking her head.

"Isabella Swan. I've heard so much about you."

He stopped a few feet from me, making it clear that there would be no welcoming embrace or handshake from the elder Cullen. I swallowed down my fear, trying to dredge up the determination that I had before entering the room.

This was for Edward. This was for Esme. You got this, Bella. Eyes on the fucking prize.

"Bella, please. And it's a pleasure to meet you as well."

"Yes, Ms. Swan. I've heard a great deal about you." he said flippantly, as if in challenge. It sparked something in me, and I found myself digging deep to keep calm.

"And I've heard nothing about you."

The silence continued, Edward shifting his feet next to me before clearing his throat.

"Isabella, this is Marcus Cullen. My grandfather."

I nodded, my eyes not leaving the older man. I could see the judgment in his eyes, and knew I'd already been tried and found wanting. Judge, jury, and executioner. How fucking appropriate. I tightened my hold on Edward. This was a fight I wouldn't lose. Not after everything it took to get to this moment.

Bring it on, old man.

Luckily Esme stepped in to ease some of the tension. "The food's warm, so why don't we sit down and relax a bit? I'd love to hear more about you outside of the business setting, Bella."

I smiled at her gratefully, Edward taking my hand and leading us to the table. Carlisle and Marcus sat at the heads of the table, and Edward pulled my chair out next to Carlisle. I was relieved as he took the seat next to his grandfather.

Once fruit and pastries were passed around, carafe of steaming coffee and pitcher of mimosas refilled, Carlisle led the conversation, telling humorous stories about patients or fundraisers with over-zealous patrons that he and Esme had attended. We all laughed except for Marcus, whose stare hadn't left me. I felt like I was under a spotlight, my palms starting to sweat and heat rising to my face, and I tried my hardest to not make eye contact with him. When Edward mentioned a phone call from early that morning, my ears perked.

"I've got Jenks tracking the call, but whoever it was knew what they were doing. We keep running into dead ends. He was connected to Riley Biers."

"Biers?! He was working with the Russians at one point. The gun runner, wasn't he? I thought he was dead."

"One and the same, and so did we. My sources being that inaccurate isn't something I am taking lightly. He came in my club last night, shocked the hell out of us. Not sure how he got past security or any of the cameras. Jenks is double checking the facial recognition, but he thinks it has been tampered with. It wasn't an accident that he was in there. He knew Isabella. I think the situation was set up, maybe to test us or see how close they could get to one of us undetected."

"So she knows, then." His grandfather stated, voice rising minutely. He was staring down Edward now, unhappiness clear on his face.

"I'll have no secrets from her, Grandfather. You wanted me to have what you had. She's it."

"You hardly know the girl. You're a fool! Bella cosa tosto è rapita, a pretty thing is soon taken. You've opened us up to a threat!"

Edward was shaking now, and I gripped his hand to calm him down. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second before looking down at me with a smile. I nodded to him, letting him know that I was there for him. I half expected something like this might occur, but it didn't make it hurt any less to hear someone talk about me as if I wasn't even there.

"I know her. I know her better than I know myself. Da retta, I say she WILL be a part of this Family. It's time that you make your peace with it. It's an order. You won't speak of her like that ever again."

"She doesn't understand what she has gotten herself into. It's about time that someone let her know! A cane scottato l 'acqua fredda pare calda!"

I heard those words before. _A burnt child dreads the fire_.

Was it a warning?

Or a fucking threat?

My blood boiled, and I set down my fork and gripped Edward's hands even tighter, willing his strength into my body.

"Excuse me? Are you threatening me?"

Marcus did a double take, as if forgetting I was even sitting there.

"You know Italian?"

"No. But I was an English major so…overused, inaccurate proverbs were kind of my thing."

The side of his mouth twitched, showing a hint of smile before he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.

"So Ms. Swan. If you know what we are, what Edward is, let me ask you this: what does a girl like you want with the Cosa Nostra? Is it the money? The notoriety? Excitement?"

"I don't want anything with the Cosa Nostra. I just want Edward."

"He can't leave The Family. If you think you'll 'save him', you are sadly mistaken. He's the Don. This is in his blood. You may see whatever side of him that he chooses to show you, but he's a ruthless killer. Has he told you that? Has he told you everything that he's done?"

Edward was shaking his head. I expected Esme or Carlisle to step in, but they merely watched on, their faces etched concern.

"No, but…"

"It goes hand in hand, Ms. Swan. And your parents, your father? What would he say? The daughter of a police chief?"

I was shocked, my jaw dropping at his question.

"How did you…what does that have to do with how I feel about him?"

"It has everything to do with it! How will it look for The Family if its head is tied to the police?! How do you think your father would feel about Edward? He knows the story, the history. Do you think he would turn a blind eye? Ignore what he is? You are foolish, girl! And you're out of your depth!"

I chugged down the rest of my drink, liquor my classic modus operandi.

"With all due respect, _Sir,_ I will deal with that when the time comes. I love my parents, and I love everything that they have done for me. Through our ups and downs, they are above all else good people. And with that in mind, I would never connect them to your Family in any way. I wouldn't do that to them. But I won't sacrifice Edward, either. So if a decision must be made at some point, and I'm not stupid enough to think it won't, I know what my choice is and I'm prepared to fucking make it."

Whatever test this was, apparently those words sealed my fate. Marcus nodded, then gave me a smile, my own answering in return, before he slapped his hand on Edwards back and returned to his meal without another word.

Edward whipped his head towards me, pushing his chair out enough to turn his body and clasp both of my hands in his. He raised them to his face, tenderly kissing each before setting them in his lap.

"Do you mean that, Isabella? Are you…does this mean…"

"It's you, Edward. I swear to you. I love you so much. And what you feel about me…it's been right in front of me this entire time. I was just too stubborn to want to see it. There's no more fighting it. I've done all the debating and compartmentalizing…and every path leads to the same thing. You. I can't live without you, without whatever this is. I'm damn nervous about it but it doesn't change a thing. I'm sorry I've been so difficult about it…"

"No, baby. I don't blame you. I know I've been…um…I've been overbearing. I was scared too, honestly. I was just…"

"It was me. I needed time. I thought I needed more time, but I was delaying the inevitable. I have to warn you, Edward…once you've got me, I don't think you'll be able to rid yourself of me."

He gave me a crooked smile, running one of his hands along his jaw as if considering it.

"You bring up some valid points, Isabella. Maybe I need to rethink this."

"And I'm neurotic. God, like, to a fucking fault. And I'm mean when I'm nervous. Or under pressure. Or just in general. I don't know. And I'm usually a mess. I squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube. I refuse to drink out of a glass without a straw. I'm a pretty fucking awful driver. I'm an English major whose vocabulary is as extensive as a truck driver's. And my friends are crazy, and we're crazier together. And basically if you're with me, you're with them, so you have to pass a series of tests that may or may not include feats of strength…"

We were both grinning now, and I could hear his parents chuckling beside us.

"I think I'm up to the challenge. There will never be a day that I don't thank God for you, _mia bella_. You're my dream girl, after all. I always thought I had imagined you."

"Edward, you have no idea."


	17. Chapter 17

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox_**

BPOV

Esme was a phenomenal cook, and I was crossing my fingers that this was the first of countless Sundays at the Cullen's. Brunch carried on for several hours after my vow to have 'just one more' chicken salad croissant, and somehow finding it within me to then polish off a plate full of chocolate crepes amidst lighthearted conversation carried surprisingly by Edward's grandfather. He showed genuine interest in my line of work, causing playful banter between the two of us and Esme and pausing only to give Edward and Carlisle knowing looks at the peaks of our laughter.

The Cullen men offered to help clean up, but at her dismissal made their way to Carlisle's office to discuss business.

"Do they usually help with all of this?" I asked while elbow deep in sudsy water scrubbing a cake stand. Esme burst into loud laughter, as had been the tone for most of the visit, tears at the corner of her eyes.

"Every week, for as long as I can remember, they offer. Every week, I've always turned them down. I know it isn't genuine - I'm not stupid; it's their good manners. One day I'll take them up on it to teach them a lesson, and I'm afraid that their heads might explode!" I giggled at the thought of the three of them working in the kitchen, letting my imagination start to wander when I thought about Edward and I side by side, washing and drying dishes, cooking, being creative with the counter space…

"Bella, I have to admit that I did have an ulterior motive when taking you up on your offer to give me a hand."

Esme tossed the hand towel my way, then reached to the cabinet above her to grab two wine glasses.

"Can you handle another drink?"

I shrugged, glancing at the clock and doing some quick math to figure out if I'd be needing a bottle of Advil tomorrow morning. I think I'd be okay with just one more drink. She opened a bottle of pinot and filled both the glasses to nearly overflowing before carefully passing it to me.

"This conversation is going to need it."

I nodded in understanding and followed Esme out to the patio as carefully as I could, wine sloshing along the rim of the glass, daring me to take one wobbly step. It was another impressive space, built with slabs of limestone that had ivy crawling up each edge and onto the house, nearly reaching the third story windows. A cluster of plush loungers and sofas circled a coffee table with a small fire bowl in its center, made cozy by the cedar pergola and gauzy netting.

I made myself comfortable on the largest seat, kicking my heels off and drawing my legs up close. Esme pressed a button on a panel built into the table and the small bowl flickered to life, its faux river rock glowing blue with heat. Another button lit the tall patio heaters placed inconspicuously around the space, causing me to sink into the seat with a fight to stay awake as the warmth radiated in waves. I took a large gulp of my wine, enjoying the brief moment of quiet.

"What do you know about Edward's work, Bella?" Well damn. She sure as hell didn't play any games.

"Not much. I know it's not exactly…legal. I don't know the specifics though. We haven't gotten that far yet."

She smiled at me in understanding. "And you won't know many specifics. It's for the best. They do it to keep us safe, and that's the hardest part for this family sometimes. You have to trust that no matter how frustrating it is, and how angry you are at him about it, Edward is doing what's required to keep The Family safe. You'll be at the top of that list."

"I just feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. I don't know how to reconcile what is in my heart and what my conscience is telling me."

"Edward called us this morning and filled us in on what happened at his club last night. That had to be…a lot to handle. Especially for someone just thrust into this. I know that Marcus came off harsh, but he and Carlisle argued about it up until the very second you arrived. He was just concerned that you may have a...moment of clarity that could potentially be a threat to Edward."

"Clarity?"

"You went from zero to sixty like that," she snapped her fingers, startling me and causing me to take another chug of wine. I wish this glass was fucking bigger. "You could have taken off and run to the cops, called your dad…any number of scenarios could have jeopardized us."

"How do you handle all of this?"

"I have it a bit easier as far as these things go. Carlisle helps with some of the legitimate aspects of the business. He's an important part of the organization, but we've been lucky that he doesn't 'get his hands dirty', so to speak. Marcus took over at such a young age, much like Edward now, so when Carlisle expressed interest in other lines of work, Marcus had a lot of years left and gave his blessing. The unspoken condition was that obviously the first born son would be Capo Crimine. We were so young, Bella. Just dating at that time. Children seemed like such a novelty that would occur far, far off in the distant future."

"You sound remorseful."

She sighed, pulling up her own legs onto her seat before smoothing the wrinkles from her pants. "Not necessarily remorseful. It hurts me because it hurts Carlisle. He thinks he made a deal with the devil. We didn't think of consequences at the time, you see. The way kids tend to do, you feel invincible, like the whole world is at your fingertips. We didn't understand that our actions would…there'd be a definite and real cause and effect. When they told me I had a baby boy, part of me was devastated. Here was this being that I loved more than my own life, who was this obscure concept for so long and now his father and I had put him on this dangerous path before he even opened his eyes for the first time."

"What would have happened if Edward declined like Carlisle did?"

"Not possible." She said immediately, taking another sip. "It was promised, Bella. There are rules in place, strict guidelines for succession. And Edward is the last of the Cullen line. Well, until your children."

I was mid-sip before I started to choke, my face burning with embarrassment as Esme chuckled lightly, a glint in her eye that I hadn't seen before.

"Oh I know Bella…trust me. You two will give me the most beautiful grandbabies. And everyone will think they're mine because I look so young and fantastic, there's no way in hell I could possibly be a grandmother."

I joined in her laughter. "So Edward will produce grandchildren for the sole purpose of inflating your ego?"

She stuck her nose in the air and held her glass high in a toast. "Naturally," she said with a huff before we burst out laughing, clutching our stomachs and trying not to spill our drinks.

"Bella honey…about last night…what you did wasn't wrong. I want you to know that. I want to thank you."

"Thank me?"

"Edward told us that man was likely going to shoot him. He said you didn't hesitate. He needs you, you know. You're a strong woman. He needs someone on an equal playing field."

I chuckled lamely at the thought. I was a mess of fucking nerves 99.9% of the time, but somehow with Edward, I became so much stronger. If the Bella with the gun was the one they chose to see, I didn't have a problem with it. Maybe it masked my crazy as hell neurosis. Like the one where I am pretty sure Edward is make-believe. And maybe even the one where the majority of conversations are with myself.

Yeah…let's stick to the gun-toting Bella.

"Honestly Esme, I'd love to say that I saw Edward in some danger and reacted accordingly. But the truth is that I don't even remember it happening. One minute I saw the gun shoved against him, the next he was on the ground."

"You acted a hell of a lot faster than I ever have." She said with a comforting smile.

"That's…that's happened to you before?"

"Something similar. Just because Carlisle isn't that involved, it doesn't mean we aren't constantly a target. Marcus never assigned a consigliore, instead choosing to bounce ideas back and forth with Carlisle whenever there was a problem. They couldn't be more opposite, but Marcus wanted that. He knew Carlisle was smart and he respects his son, but there was an added benefit of being a checks and balances of sorts. When Edward was two or three, someone put a bomb on one of our cars," she said with a shrug, as if merely discussing the weather.

A fucking BOMB? That was a whole different ball game. How could she be so relaxed about it? Is this how every second of my life would be? Will I forever be looking over my shoulder, wondering who is trying to hurt Edward, or who may be targeting my children?

Now I'm starting with talk about damn children. Pretend dream Edward must have needed pretend offspring.

"What happened?"

"A long-time family friend who was also one of our drivers several times a week went out to warm up the car while we were bundling Edward up to go to mass."

"Jesus."

"Yeah…him too." she said wryly, a crooked grin on her face that rivaled her son's. "Bella, you can't be afraid of all that shit. Because the benefits far outweigh the risks. If you love Edward, then you already know that."

I weighed Esme's words, trying to place myself in her shoes. Was I willing to risk my life for the Mafia?

No, definitely not.

For Edward?

Unequivocally.

I suddenly heard shouting coming from the house and multiple sets of footsteps racing towards us on the walkway that lead from the drive. Edward burst through the back doors calling my name, the glass panes shaking as they banged against the stone siding. His face looked enraged, but his eyes softened once they locked on me. A few of his long strides, and he pulled me up into his arms, laying soft kisses on my cheeks and lips. The five men who had come from the front of the home made their way onto the patio, several giving orders in earpieces, cells, and watches. Emmett ended his call and stepped forward.

"Boss, we need to leave immediately."

"Isabella, I apologize but there is a problem I must take care of some business right away. I want to take you back to my condo on the way. I think you'll be safest there."

"No, Edward," I shook my head, wondering what was happening, why he had to go. Esme warned me about times like this. He'd tell me if it was necessary. I just had to remind myself of that. "I promised Alice that I'd be home tonight. I have a few things to prepare before I need to go into the office tomorrow. That's just…it's not possible."

He nodded, drawing me closer. "I figured you'd say that. I don't feel comfortable with you and your friend being alone."

"We won't be. Her fiancé will be home."

He pulled back enough to look at my face, searching for something in my eyes. I wasn't afraid of something happening to me, though, so he won't find any trace of that.

I was afraid of something happening to _him_.

"I want you to take something, then. Give me peace of mind, Isabella." He snapped his fingers and Emmett reached into his belt and pulled out the gun from last night. "You were good with this one, and I'd feel more comfortable if you had something you were familiar with. I'll take you shopping this week for your own."

He handed it to me, a fierce look on his face. I was determined not to let him down, not ever. I could do this for him. Totally. Sure. Yep.

Just had to convince myself. No big deal.

My hands shook slightly as I held the cool metal, hoping that it wasn't noticeable to anyone. If this was merely dealing with 'some business', I'd hate to see what a _real_ threat was. I have a feeling it involved Edward locking me in my room and not letting me out of his sight.

That sounded pretty fucking outstanding right about now.

"Is there…Edward, is something bad…"

"I promise you baby, I won't keep secrets from you unless absolutely necessary. I can explain it to you once we have everything taken care of. Just please…promise me that you'll listen to what I say. Swear to me. I won't be able to think clearly if I am worrying about your safety."

The look on his face was so sincere, and my eyes started to burn at his intensity. I love this man. I trust him to keep me safe. I must have started to tear up more than I thought, because I felt his fingers softly wipe under my eyes. He cupped my face in both hands, his sweet, cool breath washing over me before kissing me tenderly. It was soft, and loving, and a promise of his own.

And while I said my goodbyes to the Cullen's and slid into the car with Edward pressed against my side, watching the gorgeous property fade away with the midday sun, I couldn't help but wonder if I was saying my final goodbyes to my life as I knew it as well.

This was just the beginning, and I shivered at the thought, causing Edward to start rubbing my arm.

"Cold, _mia bella_?"

"No…just had a weird fucking feeling."

He turned towards me in his seat, a serious expression frozen on his features as he gripped my hands tightly, almost to the point of pain. He drew me closer, speaking in a low voice that was nearly a whisper.

"There is nothing that I trust more than my own gut. It has never lead my family wrong. Mafioso rely on it. And in time, we will learn to rely on each other's. Tell me. Please."

"It was nothing, Edward. Don't worry about it." he narrowed his eyes at me, not buying it. I sighed, the tingling still running down my spine. "Just…I dunno. Like someone walked over my grave."

He nodded and leaned forward towards Emmett.

"Step on it, McCarty."


	18. Chapter 18

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

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EPOV

One of the first things my Grandfather taught me was that if something didn't feel right, then it sure the fuck probably wasn't.

The eerie feeling crept up on me en route to my parents' estate. McCarty had given me a look through the rearview mirror that made it clear that he needed to speak with me in private. Within seconds of reaching the house, I saw Jenks' name flashing on my caller ID. If he was trying to reach me unexpectedly, it usually meant things were going downhill.

"Cullen."

"Boss. We've got a low level from the East coast syndicate. He's been circling one of the clubs but hasn't made a move. The boys are going to grab him. I've got audio and visual."

"What is he after?"

"Not sure, Sir. He's been here a couple of hours. Doesn't seem to have much of a purpose as far as I can tell. Either that or he suspects we're watching."

"Let him be, Jenks. Let's see where this goes. Maybe we can put a stop to this shit once and for all. Priority is finding out who is leading that family now. They're a loose cannon and we can't take any fucking chances, _capische_?"

"Boss?"

"When we get him, we're going to get everything we need from him. And then he will be punished severely. We need to send a message, and it needs to be loud and clear. I want James on it."

"Mr. Cullen, with all do respect, James Hunter is a wild card. I don't think it would be in our best interests…"

"JENKS! We will bring in Hunter to do what he does best, and that's an order! I have grown tired of that family's games. It needs to end, and it needs to end NOW. _Ai mali estremi, mali rimedi_ , for severe ills, severe remedies. This situation needs a delicate hand; do you understand me Jenks? Or is there still a problem?"

"No…no, Sir, Boss…I understand. I…"

I disconnected the call before he could stutter out another worthless apology, running my hands through my hair in frustration. I had tried to convince myself that I could keep a life with Isabella separate from business to some extent, but it was already becoming obvious that even if I could shelter her from the messiness or the danger, it would always remain – pulling me away from her, burning up precious time, hovering over each conversation after a missed dinner or a blood-splattered suit.

She was anything but weak. In such a short amount of time, she proved that repeatedly. Had our roles been reversed, I would have run for the hills. But she weighed her options, spoke her mind, put everything out in the open before she compartmentalized and thankfully gave me a chance with such strength and forgiveness. It was _me_ who was the weak one. I wanted so much to escape this life whenever I held her in my arms.

But that could never be.

It was times like these with all of this running through my fucking head that I wished I had someone to talk to. I couldn't worry Isabella with these thoughts. Some of them, I knew were foolish as hell. But that didn't stop me from worrying about them, to want to get them off my chest and then move on. I thought back to my days in college, with friendships that came easy and carefree. I'd give this all up for a chance to have a beer with Jazz again, or to see Isabella laughing on campus and find it within me to speak with her. Maybe I could have changed things if I had taken a different path…

No. I don't know why my mind played these games with me. These 'what if?'s. They were cruel and unnecessary, and they wasted precious time. Time to keep the Family safe, time to protect my business interests.

Time with Isabella.

I heard footsteps stomp towards me and knew McCarty was likely returning with more unwanted news. He didn't say anything, another clue that he was bracing himself for my temper, and I took the moment of silence to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Isabella is here. Isabella is giving me a chance. Isabella. Isabella.

My eyes shot open, a reinvigorated sense of purpose and focus, straightening my shoulders and forcing me to stand taller with a pride I hadn't felt before. This is for Isabella. It has always been, even when I didn't realize, even before I knew she existed. This was for Family. This was for _our_ family. Stop fucking around, Cullen.

I turned, hands clasped in front of me and head held high. He seemed to startle at my calm.

"Spit it out, McCarty."

"More showed up at the club, as well as one of the warehouses and the Pioneer Square restaurant. They aren't doing anything, boss. They're just…fucking standing there. We don't see any weapons on them. They know where the damn cameras are, and are hanging around them. They've been making a show of it."

"Okay. Thank you. You can head downstairs and pull up the surveillance there. Let me know if there's any change."

He shifted his feet awkwardly, eyes darting between me and the house.

"Is there something else, McCarty?!"

"Uh…no…no, sir. Right away."

He jogged off, and I chuckled at his shock and nervousness. I knew I was a ticking time bomb with my Mafiosi. It was another weakness in a long line of them that my grandfather had regularly try to put a stop to unsuccessfully throughout the years. I guess I just didn't have the incentive to change that I do now.

My Isabella.

I buttoned my suit coat and attempted to fix my hair to hide my stress-induced habit. The last thing I needed was my mother fussing over me when all I wanted was to show the woman I love that we were a normal family underneath all of the other bullshit. If I can't go to a damn brunch without freaking the fuck out over business, why the hell would she ever want to stay with a guy like me?

I looked around for her, and had a slight feeling of panic before I reminded myself that we had safeguards in place to give ample warning if anyone was approaching the property. With that in mind, I took a second to think about where I would go if I were her, where would I find solitude to get my thoughts in place?

I knew exactly the spot, and smiled to myself as I walked briskly to the other side of the front gardens. My mother had a few stone benches scattered among her prized roses, circling a fountain that my grandfather had commissioned as a gift to my late grandmother many years ago in Italy. It was transplanted here when he sold that estate after her passing, unable to leave it behind. He gave it to my mother as a gift, and she always told me it was one of the most precious things she had. There was a lot of history behind that fountain, a lot of sacrifice. It held a meaning deeper and more concrete than its marble surface implied.

Isabella sat with her back to me, her hand gesturing excitedly as she spoke with her friend. I heard my name several times followed by her sweet laughter, and it made my heart stutter to know that whatever it was that she was discussing, it wasn't bad. I was straining to hear more when she laughed loudly, the peals echoing around the garden and bringing more life to the place than I had felt in a long time. She paused suddenly and turned around to face me, her grin growing as I looked down warmly at her.

"That sounds amazing, Al. I'll pick up some random wine that doesn't go with anything and the ice cream."

She finished her conversation and set her phone back into her purse, standing up quickly and brushing off her clothing as if she could possibly look anything but gorgeous. She had an expression on her face that I couldn't read but wanted to, one that drew me in and made my heart ache in the only way she knew how. I stared into her beautiful brown eyes, wishing I could read her mind, wishing she could read mine.

 _Chi ha l'amor nel petto, ha lo sprone a'fianchi_ , he who has love in his breast, has spurs in his sides. I hoped she could see how devoted I was to her, how absolutely I hung on her every word and would go to war if it meant she would be safe.

I wanted her to see that, to see that I was capable of that. Every day. Every day of forever.

"Ready for the wolves, _mia bella_?"

She looped her arm through mine, causing me to jump slightly in shock. Where had her hesitation from this morning gone? I didn't think my heart could take any more. I prayed that whatever this was, that whatever she found within herself or with whatever strength her conversation with Alice gave her, that it was here to stay. I'd let this woman rake me over the coals, but that didn't mean I wanted her to.

She smiled up at me, nothing but love shining in her eyes and on every perfect inch of her face.

"With you, Edward? I'm ready for anything."

I didn't anticipate the happiness I'd feel when introducing her properly to my parents. I knew how much my mom adored her, but to see equal respect and admiration from my dad meant more than I thought it would. He gave me a stern nod and motioned towards his office, which let me know that we had some business to discuss at some point during the visit. Another one of the moments where two halves of my life blended together until the line between the two was no longer visible.

Sometimes I wondered if it had ever been there at all.

My hackles rose when my grandfather started grilling Isabella, and I had to remind myself that this was between the two of them, a show of force and respect despite how much it fucking pissed me off. He was famous for testing everyone, including me, and there was never a greater measure of someone's worth in his eyes than whether or not they rose to the occasion. Unbeknownst to her, he already accepted her with an open heart. I guess he wanted to mess with her, see what she was made of.

And she proved entirely capable of holding her own, the reflexive desire to come to her aid unwarranted. I saw a side of him throughout the rest of brunch that I'd never seen before. He seemed proud of this family, proud of me, less sad than he'd been in the years since he lost his own love. I guess it's true that _amore tutti fa uguali_ , love makes all men equal. I didn't know that loving this woman would bring out a difference in those around me as well, like she was a missing piece of a larger puzzle than I had known.

After brunch, my dad, grandfather, and I made our way to the office to discuss what had been happening with the East coast syndicate as well as some of our legitimate business affairs. I was the last in the room, closing the door behind me and turning to the plush leather sofa with a permanent grin plastered on my face.

I didn't think there was anything they could say that could keep me from feeling as fucking happy as I was at this very moment.

"What's going on at the club, boy? I spoke briefly with Emmett. He said they're circling the warehouse as well. I think it's a distraction technique. They're up to something and we need to smoke them out of there. Also, Tanya and her family are coming to brunch next weekend. I want you and Bella here."

Never mind. Leave it to my bastard grandfather to prove me fucking wrong.

"Christ, you've got to be fucking kidding me. I don't want anything to do with that horrid woman. I thought you liked Isabella!"

"It has nothing to do with that. I'm not pushing her on you, boy, and you better watch your fucking tone with me. There's business to discuss and I want the two of you there."

"Why? You obviously have been dealing with something, behind my back might I add, so why do you need me now? Why her? I don't want her to have any contact with that piece of shit family. And for the record, I don't appreciate you going about these things without my consent. You know that I respect you, but you should not have stepped down if you weren't prepared to concede when it comes to decisions that are _mine_ and mine alone. Your undermining is becoming tired, grandfather. I don't want to see it again."

"Respect? This is respect?! I give you the courtesy of keeping these thoughts private. And the Denali's do not know that we are meeting without your consent. I give the perfect picture of a well-oiled machine to any outsiders. I have earned the right, something you don't fucking understand yet. You need to watch yourself, boy. Watch that temper. Temper has served no Mafioso in any successful way other than straight towards a quick death. _Chi cerca mal, mal trova,_ he who looks for evil generally finds it."

I rubbed both hands through my hair, clasping them at the back of my neck and sinking back into the cool leather of the sofa. I hated it when he was right, so fucking much. Part of me would always blame him for this burden, thought I know I shouldn't. I can't focus on my grandfather or stupid fucking Tanya right now. My mind needs to be on the Family encroaching on our territory.

Was this really a distraction? Were my soldiers and resources being wasted on the wrong targets? Scenarios were flying through my head now, a million miles a minute, so varied and threatening that I couldn't pinpoint one that made the most sense. What did they want from us? We'd helped to clean up their messes, and they haven't emerged with an endgame. Leave it to these pricks to bring rival families together once again. What a fucking mess.

"What do you suspect, dad?"

His head shot up, surprised that I was consulting him instead of my grandfather. I always appreciated his guidance, and I guess I never let him know that. I'd have to remedy that, but tread carefully so that it didn't appear I was leaving my grandfather out of the loop. The last thing I needed was shit to get ugly between us when everything seemed to be going so well just 20 minutes before. We needed to project cohesion, and I needed to find a way out from underneath my grandfather's influence in the process. If I was going to make my own way as boss, I couldn't follow the same path.

"I believe your grandfather has valid points. We've seen something similar before. We were out of our depth, barking up the wrong tree so-to-speak. In the end, it took Peter's death to open our eyes. He suspected…"

Warning sirens were going off in my head, letting me know that I was missing something – something big. The gut feelings I was taught to trust, and now I dreaded them and their meaning.

My dad cleared this throat, a moment of silence hanging heavily in the room as he thought about his old friend. Despite Peter's service to the Family, he was first and foremost my dad's best friend. He had been killed by a car bomb right in front of my parents' home. They were…I was supposed to have been in that car. I knew it still weighed heavily on my dad's conscience, just another reason why I had backed away at my own possibility at a true friendship. Too much risk.

And in this business, you never seem to realize it until it's too fucking late.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

EPOV

There was a quick succession of rapping at the office door before McCarty burst in, a laptop in one hand and cell phone in the other while barking orders into his ear piece.

"Boss, you need to see this."

My father swiped his arm across the desk, scattering papers to the floor as the four of us crowded around the computer, silent except for the muffled chattering and gunshots coming through McCarty's phone.

There were six black and white feeds from various businesses of ours on one half of the screen, and the other half consisted of a feed that spanned the docks. I didn't need it to be in color in order to spot the dark puddles and splatters that littered nearly every surface and know exactly what they were.

Someone was raging a war, and for the first time in history, we were in the dark.

How do you protect yourself against a ghost?

"How many, McCarty?"

"Sir, it's still too early to say. The smoke has made it hard for more guys to get in some of the buildings. They barricaded the exits and we don't know who was inside to begin with. It's quite possible that…"

"NUMBERS, McCarty!"

"If I were to guess, boss, I'd say maybe 40-60 casualties on our end."

"Fuck!" I pounded my fist on the desk, making everyone jump. My chest was heaving, anger building until it coursed through every vein and billowed from every surface. My fists clenched, the Don ingrained in me seeping from my pores. The monster I tried to convince was a lie, now scratching its way towards the surface, morphing me into what I had long denied. _Isabella. Protect. Fight. Family. Isabella._

 _Isabella._

The eerie calm overtook me again, solidifying what I had already suspected.

I had no strength of my own. What I had was a gift from her. From my love.

 _Mia bella._

"Are they still inside?" I heard my father speak from beside me, but I tuned out McCarty's response as the wheels started turning, forcing my eyes up to meet my grandfather's steely blue ones. He held the same look of determination on his features that I felt on my own, furthering my resolve.

"The businesses are forfeit." My grandfather said as we leaned our heads closer together.

"Exactly my thinking. There'd be no way in hell to cover at this point without extensive damage. They are inconsequential."

A dark grin crept over his face and my own, so mirror-like in looks and purpose. "If the blast is contained…"

"Yes, there's equal ventilation. Inside walls only. It can be done." I shrugged.

"The exteriors?"

I smirked, crossing my arms. "Bulletproof and fucking blast proof, naturally. Nothing is done right without being done well."

He slapped me on the back, excitement overtaking him at the prospect of gaining an upper hand. " _Bravissimo_ , well done, my boy."

"If this works, hell…there's no going back. Lines drawn…"

"The Cosa Nostra has survived it in the past. You're Don, Edward. Do not consider that. Make the decision, give the order. _Ciò che Dio vuole, Io voglio_ , what God wills, I will. Out of your hands - be confident in how you lead."

"Care to share with the class?" my dad chimed in, causing my grandfather to smack him on the back of his head.

"Pay attention to your son, Carlisle. He's brilliant."

"You're only saying that because we agreed, old man."

"Exactly. Fucking brilliant, boy. Best thing you've ever done."

"Dad, we can't clean this up. No fucking way. We have no idea who else is by the docks. We don't know who the hell's alive in the other six buildings, but we know it's mostly their guys. We have safety nets in place for situations such as this. We've never had to fucking use them but…fuck! We're doing it. We're blowing them up. It'll go through the ventilation shafts. It's basically a backdraft that will sweep the corridors. There will be no survivors." It would work. It would fucking work. And it was the best plan I had.

I chuckled at my grandfather's look of pride before the mood turned somber again as I gave the order. "McCarty, whoever's inside…they know how this works. Code Red. Give the order. Now."

"But…but boss…" he gulped, shaking his head slightly. "The guys…"

"I am growing tired of you second guessing me. It's done. Code Red. Thank them for their service. They know their families will be taken care of."

He nodded once before gathering his laptop and jogging out of the room. My father stood, shaking his head as well but resignation across his face.

"It's sad when it comes to this, Edward. Always remember that. It may work out in the end but, it doesn't make the action any less impactful. I know you and your grandfather feel a certain way about these things, but your mother and I raised you right. I know this will hit you later. I just…I suppose I want you to know that it's okay to have some residual feelings when this is behind us. It doesn't make you any less of a leader. In fact, and I'm sure your grandfather would disagree, but I'd argue that it makes you a better one. We cannot preach 'family' if we don't see each other as such."

"Actually, Carlisle…I do agree with you."

Our heads snapped to my grandfather's direction, surprised at his admission.

"I know I always gave the impression that losses were just a part of the game, but your grandmother…God rest her soul… _È pur troppo vero_ , it is but too true. She always shared in my burdens, held me up when I felt like a broken man. You have to be strong to the outside or else your Mafiosi will feel your doubt."

"You never speak about her…"

He held his hand up to silence my thought. "But behind closed doors…that's why I wanted you with a good woman, boy. This was not some desire for strengthening the business or some other useless shit. It was because I knew you would never be the Don this family needed without a strong woman holding you up. Without love, you'd be foolish. Reckless. Stupid. Bella will center you – she does already. I see it, and I love her for it. Your grandmother would love her. _La calma è la virtù dei forti,_ the calm is the virtue of the strong, Edward."

"I would die for her."

"And she for you. When will you allow yourself to see that? To let her hold you up?"

I was speechless at his words, unable to let myself consider it. Did she feel for me what I felt for her? Could she possibly have this love that caused a physical ache in her chest so deep that she didn't think she could survive it? I had allowed myself to dream, but to see? I was afraid at what I'd find.

Before I could respond, my phone began to buzz in my pocket.

"Cullen."

"Boss, it's starting now. We don't know how they'll strike back. Perhaps Ms. Swan…"

"Right, McCarty. Let's get her to my place immediately. And my mother…"

"Sure thing, boss. Let's move now."

I ended the call and nodded to my grandfather and dad before sprinting through the house, fleeting panic at the possibility of her being a target but relief when my eyes fell upon her, smiling warmly at my mother before turning to me with the look that made me desperate for her touch.

"Boss, we need to leave immediately." I nodded to him, and he left to pull the car around.

"Isabella, I apologize but there is a problem I must take care of some business right away. I want to take you back to my condo on the way. I think you'll be safest there."

"No, Edward," I felt a sinking weight in my stomach, fear at her response. Is this too much? Would I always be wondering if today was the day that she couldn't take anymore?

"I promised Alice that I'd be home tonight. I have a few things to prepare before I need to go into the office tomorrow. That's just…it's not possible."

I nodded, relief and understanding settling like a cool balm on my nerves. "I figured you'd say that. I don't feel comfortable with you and your friend being alone."

"We won't be. Her fiancé will be home."

Her response only fractionally eased my concern. Was this man trustworthy enough for me to leave the reason for my existence in his hands? Jenks knew who he was, had known for years. Another one of those pieces of information I ordered him not to share unless pertinent. If he was a concern after all this time, I would have known about it. It was time to let Isabella lead. She'd never feel like an equal if she was not treated as such, and fuck if I was going to screw anything up with her. No more underestimating this goddess.

"I want you to take something, then. Give me peace of mind, Isabella." I snapped my fingers and Emmett reached into his belt and pulled out the gun from last night. "You were good with this one, and I'd feel more comfortable if you had something you were familiar with. I'll take you shopping this week for your own."

I had no doubt in my mind, and I hoped she could see it in my eyes.

Trust. Bravery. Love.

"Is there…Edward, is something bad…"

"I promise you baby, I won't keep secrets from you unless absolutely necessary. I can explain it to you once we have everything taken care of. Just please…promise me that you'll listen to what I say. Swear to me. I won't be able to think clearly if I am worrying about your safety."

She started to tear up, the warm chocolate brown pooling with liquid that made my heart beat faster. I could see the concern in her face. I allowed myself it, to see everything as if for the first time. My dream girl, making every dream come true in a way so devastating and overwhelming that I couldn't fucking wrap my head around it.

 _Love._

I pulled her close to me, cupping her beautiful face in my hands and feeling the warmth from her soft skin soak into my fingertips. I couldn't keep myself from her any longer, our lips meeting tenderly in a solemn vow.

 _I will always protect you, my love._

The car made its way down the drive, speeding gracefully towards downtown Seattle. Each mile forced me to pull her closer, tighter, silently praying for more time. I felt her shiver under my embrace.

"Cold, _mia bella_?"

"No…just had a weird feeling."

I froze, turning her towards me, squeezing her arms to keep my own from shaking. I lowered my gaze to her, willing her to grasp the seriousness of what I was about to say.

"There is nothing that I trust more than my own gut. It has never lead us wrong. Mafioso rely on it. Tell me. Please." As my equal, she held the future of the Cosa Nostra in her hands. Her feelings were my own. I had to tell her how much I relied on her guidance now. I had to make her see…

"It was nothing, Edward. Don't worry about it. Just…I dunno. Like someone walked over my grave."

I nodded. It was enough. Something was going to fucking happen, and now the fear caught in my throat, making breathing unbearable. There would be consequences for what we have just done. I knew that. I had to put a stop to this before it reached Isabella.

"Step on it, McCarty."

I pulled her back to my side, softly kissing the top of her head before looking out the window. The trees flew by in a blur of greens and browns, my mind on the woman molded to my side. A day intended to be a happy occasion, the beginning of something new. A new direction for the Cullens. And look what it had become.

But I couldn't find much regret within me. I felt a shift in the relationship between my grandfather, father, and myself. Almost as if he finally handed over the reigns. Sure, it had been verbally done before. But this was…definite. Official. And I knew my dad could see it, too. And for all the times they had tried to urge me to settle down, to see the importance in it, it had fallen on deaf ears until now. _Meglio tardi che mai_ , better late than never, I suppose. I cast the fears aside, let myself drown in the love I had for Isabella, let it strengthen me.

I wouldn't disappoint her. And this fucking East coast family…

 _Sotto pena di morte_ , on pain of death…

God help them when they feel my wrath.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

We reached my condo sooner than I wanted, dread sitting upon me like a lead weight and becoming stifling as every second passed. Everything felt like it would be perfectly fine with Edward by my side, but once I exited the car, I knew that my mind would run wild with worst-case scenarios. It was a habit that had served me well at AWD, but dragged me into an abyss of worry and despair when it came to him.

How, in such a short amount of time, I'd grown to feel this way I don't think I'd ever understand. It was fucking insane. But now that I had it? I'd do anything within my power to keep it safe. If he was entrusting me with my own safety, I was going to try to trust him with his.

Ha. Yeah right.

"Isabella, I want to walk you to your door, but I'm afraid…"

"I know, Edward. I understand. We'll figure it out when you come home."

He smiled his crooked grin, melting my heart and making heat rush from my core and through every limb, my face burning red with memories of the night before and anticipation for the next.

" _Home,_ hmm?"

"Another one of those things we'll figure out." I replied with a grin of my own.

"Sounds like a forgone conclusion." He laughed, running his fingers along my palms before he pulled my hands gently towards his face, pressing a soft kiss to my left ring finger. I knew what he was trying to say, and the excitement flowed through me.

"I thought it was pretty fucking obvious by now."

"After this morning…I'm not sure what changed, but…"

"Let's forget about that shit, Edward. You won't get any more whiplash from me – I promise you. I needed to get my head right. Moving forward. I know today didn't go as you envisioned but, I think an afternoon at the Cullen estate was exactly what I needed." I leaned towards him, kissing him softly on the corner of his mouth. I heard him sigh, and he closed his eyes as he turned his head slightly to let his lips brush against my own.

"Isabella..." he whispered, tone becoming cautious and saying so much by saying so little. "If something were to happen to me…"

"No. Don't fucking do that. If you get shot, I'll fucking shoot you, Cullen."

His eyes widened comically in surprise before he burst out laughing, clutching his stomach before pulling me close. He rocked us gently side to side, his shoulders shaking as he tried to contain his amusement.

"I'm glad you find that funny, babe. Thanks." I murmured, attempting to hide my concern. He pulled me onto his lap, and I twisted to straddle him, not a care in the world for Emmett in the front seat. He buried his face in my neck, breathing me in as I shifted against the growing hardness between us. He groaned quietly, running his hands down my back until he reached my ass, grabbing me roughly and pulling me against him.

"Isabella, I think it is obvious that life will never be dull with you."

"Are you alluding to my aptitude for colorful language?" I whispered, shuddering from the pleasure of feeling his body against mine.

"Oh sweetheart, I think you've got an aptitude for other things far more interesting than that."

He smacked me lightly on my ass as I climbed off of him, giggling softly at the stern look he was attempting to give me as we adjusted ourselves and became aware of our surroundings once more. Emmett exited the car, walking to my door and opening it, hand stretched to assist me.

In one last-ditch effort to prolong the moment, I reached towards Edward, tangling my fingers through his hair and pulling his face roughly towards mine in a kiss that rivaled our first. I poured every ounce of emotion into it, every desire, every want and need and fear. His tongue caressed my own, his taste committed to memory. Imaginary Edward had never said goodbye, so real as hell Edward better fucking come back to me without a single hair out of place.

Well, sort of. I mean, he had that sex hair that somehow defied logic and space and time, so naturally the hairs would be out of place but…

Ah, hell. Fuck it.

"I love you, Edward. So damn much. Goodb…"

"No, _mia bella._ Never that. I'll see you later, yeah? I'll call you when I'm able. Keep your phone on you. Keep the gun on you. Keep the doors locked. Keep inside. You got that? I've got someone watching your place, but I don't want to draw attention to where you live. Just keep a low profile, go about business as usual. If I've got guys running all over the block, someone's bound to know that I'm keeping something precious here."

"Got it. Your wish is my command."

"Let's revisit that later." he whispered with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I nodded and took Emmett's hand, letting him walk me to the entrance before parting ways.

"Listen to the man, Bells. Don't do anything stupid."

"I'd never!"

"Like run? Skip town? Follow trouble down a dark hallway?" he scoffed, causing me to pout.

"Hey Em? Fuck off!"

His laughter boomed as he gave me a salute and jogged back to the car, revving the engine one last time before turning smoothly from the curb and into traffic.

Walking into my building felt so awkward. Was I really here just yesterday? It was like visiting your childhood home as an adult. You had the memories but you had outgrown it, what it once meant to you. The walls seemed to close in. Was it always this dark? Were the ceilings always this low? Did my breathing always sound so hollow, echo so much in the confines of the space?

I dug through my purse for my keys that I half expected to no longer fit. Yes, Edward and I were definitely going to need to have that talk.

"BELLS! You're early!"

Faster than the speed of sound, the monster crashed into me before I could react, somehow putting me into a headlock and mussing my hair.

"You bitch! Get off me! JAZZ! GET THIS FREAK OFF OF ME!"

Jasper rounded the corner from the kitchen, a beer and his laptop in his hand, laughing at Alice's antics.

"You know just as well as, if not better than, I do that there's no wrangling her in once she's smelled fresh blood, darlin'."

"I'm not a wild animal, Jasper!" Alice screeched at him.

"We should put you on National Geographic so they can see how unhinged you are in your natural habitat." I shot back at her before the three of us bent over in laughter.

"Bells…I…oh God…it hurts…I think I peed a little…" she stuttered, causing another round of hysterics to hit us. I made my way to one of the armchairs and plopped down, kicking off my heels and trying to catch my breath. Alice sat down on the coffee table in front of me, her petite legs folded underneath her as Jasper sat his laptop down and moved his paperwork to the side. The two of them stared at me expectantly, tilting their heads as if examining some foreign specimen. I knew the damn drill.

"Out with it."

I was surprised when it was Jasper that spoke. "Bella, what the hell happened last night? No one is telling me anything. I respect your privacy, you know that. You're one of my best friends. Alice said you'll fill me in, but I can't help but worry. Just tell me if something's wrong. Who did you leave with? Was it someone I know? It wasn't Jacob, was it?"

I scrunched my nose in disgust at the mention of him. "Ew, Jazz! No! You know me better than that!"

"I know, Bells. But when everyone knows about it except for me, it makes me think that you're intentionally hiding something. You know I can't handle the secrecy. Been there, done that. Ain't happenin' again, sweetheart."

"Jasper, I got ya. I wasn't trying to keep anything from you. And it was unfair of me to ask Al to, but I promised her I'd explain myself. It wasn't exactly a convo I wanted to relay through Emmett or something. I want you to know that I've thought this over ad nauseum. You have to trust my judgment. And you can ask me questions, but a lot of stuff I either can't answer or simply don't know the answer to anyways. Keep an open mind." I pleaded to both of them. He nodded, and Alice reached forward to squeeze my hand, a supportive smile on her face.

"There was this guy in college…I was kind of…I wasn't obsessed with him, per say. But, I pretty much revolved around him for a time. He didn't know who I was, and after awhile my…interest…in him was becoming unhealthy. Kinda like it was hindering me from having an actual relationship. I made Alice swear to never bring him up again."

"Okaaay…"

"This will make sense. Sorta. I swear…just…" he nodded, motioning with his hand for me to continue. I straightened my back, swearing to myself that I'd make them see. They'll see. They'll see that there's no me without him. Not any more. And they'll love him for it, just as I love the two of them.

"Alice and I went on our annual shopping excursion last week, and he spotted me. He…well, I guess he had been thinking about me the same way I was about him, for all these years. It's kinda funny now that I think about all the time we lost. Funny in a sorta non-fucking-funny way. Mostly sad, really. Possibly pathetic…"

Alice cleared her throat, eyebrows raising knowingly at my exceptional talents of avoidance and not letting me get away with it.

Sometimes I hated how well that brat knew me.

"Long story short, ran into him again. We're doing business with his mom. She's a local architect and interior designer, and we hired her for our new location. That was his club we were at – I had no idea – and um…some stuff happened and anyways, Emmett works for him and…"

There was a muffled boom on a lower level somewhere below our condo, causing the windows to rattle slightly and a shake to reverberate through the floors. I locked eyes with Alice, who seemed to read my mind.

Sometimes I loved how well that girl knew me.

We were frozen in place for a moment, Jasper on his feet and attempting to look out the windows for the source. A loud crash, immediately below us this time, sent us into a flurry of action.

"Bella..." Alice warned.

"I know, I know, Al. There was some shit that happened today. I don't know what it was. Edward had to run off to take care of it. I don't want to suspect the worst but…"

"Well, whatever the fuck is happening downstairs isn't normal. So let's just assume the worst and do something about it. What did Edward tell you to do in an emergency?"

"Shit, Alice. We didn't really get that far. It happened so fast. He said to keep the doors locked, don't draw attention to myself. That was pretty much it."

"And he just fucking dropped you at the sidewalk and said 'have a nice day'!?"

"No! Well, he gave me a gun…"

"Damnit Bella! Pertinent information here! Doesn't take a rocket scientist to narrow this shit down with that little tidbit!"

I grabbed her arm and was reaching for my purse when the condo went dark, the only pieces of light dwindling quickly with the last traces of dusk.

"Al? Bells?" Jasper called out from the kitchen. More booms rocked the floors. What the fuck was that? Think, Bella!

"We're here, Jazz. What are you doing?"

He emerged with a small flashlight in his mouth, the beam glinting off a light colored steel with a purpose I'd recognize anywhere. My blood ran cold as he finished loading it and with a flick of his wrist, clicked the barrel into place with familiarity. I knew that face. I'd just seen that face. That was Edward's face.

Alice gripped onto my hand tighter. "Honey? What are you planning on doing with that? What the hell are you doing with a gun? Where did you get that?"

"It's a long story, Alice. We'll talk about it later. I'm getting the impression that the three of us need to sit down and have one serious fucking talk. Are we all in agreement?" he was staring at me, eyes narrowed in suspicion. I dug through my bag and threw it to the side as I pulled out my own gun, holding it close to my chest. His eyes widened as I clicked off the safety.

"Yeah Jazz, I'd say a chat is certainly warranted."

Alice reached for Jasper and he pulled her to his side. "Bells, should you call Edward?" In the panic, it hadn't even crossed my mind. Why the fuck did I toss that damn purse?

"Edward? Edward who?" Jasper asked, his voice strained, accusing, wary.

"Edward Cullen. That's the guy from college. They're together now. Keep up, Hale." Alice rattled off, standing on her tip toes to see out of the window above the kitchen sink.

"Edward fucking Cullen!?" Jasper yelled before he was cut off by the loudest rattle yet, right outside our front door. We all jumped further into the kitchen before pressing our backs to the doorway leading to the bedroom hallway. We huddled close, hands gripping the handles until our knuckles were white. And while I shook, Jasper looked more determined than I had ever seen him, face set in an angry mask and focused on me.

"Cullen, Bella?" he whispered angrily. "You've got to be fuckin' kidding me! This is what y'all have been keeping from me?"

"You don't know him, Jazz. He's amazing, and I love him. So you can shove the big brother act for a minute. Don't judge him."

"Judge him?! I _KNOW_ him, Bells!"

I pulled back, confusion and a questioning expression on my face before we heard the front door fly open, the sound of metal hitting the ground in an echoing 'THUD' as our front door was knocked literally from its hinges and onto the floor of our foyer.

"Shit!" I whispered to myself, mind running at a frantic pace. Think, Bella. What would Edward do?

Think Think Think Think…

Edward! Duh! Fucking duh.

I turned to look at Alice, whispering quickly. "Al…my purse! Did you see where I threw my purse?!" She pointed towards the island, her manicured finger shaking uncontrollably in fear. I squeezed her hand before bending down.

"What the fuck, Bella?!" Jasper whisper-yelled.

"Shut up, Jazz. Just keep an eye out. I need my damn phone."

He rolled his eyes as I crawled on the cool tile towards the island, praying that whoever was now storming around the condo was going to wait just a little fucking longer before they found their way to the kitchen. This was one of those moments that I thanked God we had a place bigger than what was necessary.

I grabbed the purse and scooted back towards the wall, hitting my back against it and crossing my fingers that the noise wasn't as loud as I thought it was. Jasper stood above me, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Fucking Bella…" he ground out through clenched teeth.

"You got that right, sweets." I shrugged. Nervousness became replaced with excitement that surged through me as I scrolled to find Edward's number. He had it programmed to the number one on speed dial. Go fucking figure. I grinned despite the situation, letting his Bella come out to play. The protector, invincible, strong.

Maybe if I kept repeating it, it'd be true.

It was only half a ring before I heard him pick up.

"Baby, I.."

"Shut up and listen, Edward." I whispered, listening as the intruder destroyed what sounded like the office. A loud buzzing and then the shatter of a computer screen confirmed my suspicion. "Someone's in the fucking apartment. I don't know if anyone's downstairs…we heard a bunch of shit before the lights went out. They knocked down the door. The fucking door! A steel door!"

"Alright, love. Where are you exactly."

Footsteps sounded down the hall as we pressed impossibly closer to the wall, Alice wrapped around Jasper as he reached out to clench my free hand. We smiled weakly at each other, a small sign of forgiveness until we got through this bullshit.

"We're in the kitchen. I think they walked past, but they haven't come in yet. There's a hutch on one of the walls before another hallway, and we're hidden on the side of that. If they go in the dining room or come in here through that doorway, though…all bets are off."

"There's no answer from the man I had stationed there. The other places…they must have been a fucking distraction. Shit! Whoever it is likely took him out. Don't do anything heroic, Isabella. I love you. I'm on my way."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but don't. Don't, Edward. Don't you dare. Send someone else. If something fucking happens to you…"

He ignored my pleas. "No other exit?"

"Not one we can get to without being seen."

"Your gun?"

"Got it. Jazz has one, too."

"Jazz?"

I heard the crunching of glass under footsteps in the hallway, making me drop my phone as my blood ran cold. It grew closer before halting right on the other side of the wall. I could hear their breathing, and knew in that moment that they could hear ours.

"Oh Bellllllaaaaa…" a man said in a sing-song voice, scraping something metal against the wall as he walked slowly down the hall. Pictures were knocked one by one, falling to the floor and shattering, growing closer…

"Come out, come out, wherever you arrrreee…."


	21. Chapter 21

_**Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

The intruder was nearing the end of the hallway while our luck was running out. Each cool chuckle, coinciding with each heavy footstep, made my mind race impossibly faster. Exits. Weapons. Alice. Jasper. Safety. Edward. Escape.

If only I could…

"Don't move. Don't you fucking move."

I looked up at Jasper, straightening in defiance at his order, whispered angrily in the way I had been accustomed to in the last few minutes that felt like the longest hours.

"You can't stop me, Jazz. One of us has to do something. If you think a loud as hell fire escape is going to help in a situation like this, I'd say you're as dumb as your accent."

The corner of his mouth twitched as he attempted to hold back a smile, which I was grateful for. I wasn't ready to give up all of my anger yet. I needed it to pump up my adrenaline. Plus, he had some explaining to do as well, so I didn't appreciate the way he was treating me.

"You're going to be a hero, darlin'? I don't think so."

"Would you rather we sit here and wait for our little hide and seek to come to a fucking end? I have a feeling this dude isn't here to have a stern conversation with us!"

"Well, of the three of us, it was YOU whose name he was calling. So if you ask me, it ain't hard to figure out who the fuck got us into this lil' predicament!" he whispered back.

"Will the two of you shut the hell up?!"

We looked down at Alice, taking her own angry stance with hands on her hips and glaring right back.

"When that asshole gets to the dining room, it's not going to take him long to figure out there's just one room left that he didn't hit up yet. I don't care whose 'fault' it is! I care about not getting killed! And for some reason I care about the two of you, though you're seriously making it hard for me to remember why right now! So can we please come up with a game plan and get out of here so that I can proceed to kick both of your asses and yell at you with my outside voice?!"

Jasper opened his mouth to respond before snapping it shut, apparently deciding otherwise. Smartly, might I add. I, on the other hand, never had a problem telling her where she could stick it.

"No shit, Al! What do you think I was doing before Rambo here decided he was going to wave his gun around without having the balls to use it!"

"Rambo, Bella? Honestly? I can't stand Rambo. And I think I'd be guns blazing if I were him."

"Okay, do you prefer Terminator Arnold?"

"I dunno. Was more of a Predator fan, so maybe somethin' along those lines."

"Yeah right. You wish! I'm Predator Arnold. You're, like, fucking Last Action Hero Arnold."

"Yeah fucking right! I'll show you Last Action Hero when I wring your neck…"

"SHUT. UP! Jesus! You two are like fucking children! Siblings, I swear. Only two idiots like you…must have been switched at birth…I don't know why I bother…God…" Alice shook her head repeatedly, her whispers turning into angry muttering that made me roll my eyes. I love this girl.

I pressed my ear to the wall, noticing suddenly that the movement on the other side had halted. I could still hear breathing, and the rustling of fabric. He knew we were still in here, it was obvious. There was no way that he couldn't hear the murmurs of arguing and muted movements. The flooring was a blessing, causing echoes of sound that likely kept him from immediately locating us.

I was going to do it. I was going to run out there. If I got to him before he could exit the hallway, he was trapped in that corridor and the few rooms off of it. If he made it to the living room or dining room, we were all trapped. Offense is the best defense, isn't that how it went? Or would this be defense?

Shit. Who gives a fuck. I have to do this and it has to be in the next 15 seconds.

I absentmindedly checked the gun, noticing that it was completely loaded. I counted how many shots I had, thinking back at the cans and targets I shot with my Dad. I was good. I was really good. A natural, he always said. Then again, those weren't moving. Or shooting back.

"Alright, lovebirds. I'm going to fly this coop. I suggest you make like a tree and get out of here."

Jasper sneered. "It's 'leave'! How many times do I have to tell you it's 'leave'?!"

I started creeping towards the dining room and turned to wink at him, realization dawning on his face as he dropped the argument and noticed that I had reached the other side of the room. Alice held on tighter to his arm, tears trickling down her face.

"I know you're not doing what I think you're doing, Bells. Think about us. Think about Al."

I drew in a sharp breath and then sighed. Leave it him to fight dirty.

"I think the appropriate phrase is 'Cover me'. So…ya know…do that. Whatever that means."

I ducked through the doorway before he could respond, moving quickly against the wall and trying to remember in the darkness where each picture frame or corner was. I knew he was going to see me, that was the damn point. But it didn't mean I wanted to lose all element of surprise.

I reached the hallway, pausing against the opening and taking a deep breath, praying that the shaking of my fingers would stop so that I could at least get one good shot off. I closed my eyes, visions of Edward fleeting, flickering across my eyelids like an old movie. His smile, his messy hair, his beautiful green eyes, his loving whispers, the way he held me, caressed me, moved against me in a rhythm so perfect that it was like we were built solely for one another.

"Cullen…yeah."

My eyes snapped open at the name, focus zeroing back on the hallway. I wondered why the stranger's advances had stopped; I hadn't realized in the commotion with Jasper that he was speaking with someone. His voice was quiet, but I could make out some of the conversation.

"Yeah...they're still here, Boss. Gonna let them piss their pants a little before I grab her. They'll be easy to dispose of. Yeah. Only two, like you said," pause, another chuckle. "No, Sir. I've got some time to play. He's right outside between the elevators and stairwell and the floor only has one exit. Yep. I'll let you know. Sure. As far as I can tell, he hasn't been here yet. No one recognized…"

I drowned him out, holding up the gun, back stiffening, teeth grinding and blood pumping. I saw red, flashes of my friends, flashes of Edward as I turned the corner.

Fuck this guy.

 _BANG!_

I had a split second to notice the look of shock on his face before he dove clumsily into one of the bedrooms. I started to step forward and saw a streak of blood on the door jamb. I thought I grazed him, and this solidified it. Good. I was going to more than fucking graze him.

"BELLA!"

Jasper was dragging Alice behind me, his own gun raised and surprise frozen in their eyes.

Just then, asshole started to step through the doorway.

"Get out of the fucking condo and into the hall. You can't take the exits!" I rattled out through my gritted teeth, focus on the cruel grin that was staring back at me from a face that looked so familiar but I just couldn't place.

"What? Bella…"

"Last Action Hero, get the fuck into the hall!"

"God damnit. _Predator,_ Bella…"

I tuned Jasper out as I pointed my gun at the stranger's chest, holding my head high and grinning. His gun was stupidly to his side, and I could see blood pouring down his shoulder, soaked to the elbow. Good. More than a fucking graze.

I felt like a shark, smelling the blood and licking my lips in anticipation. Is this who I am, who I've always been? Why did I fear it? I couldn't recall in this moment. I wonder if this is how Edward feels. I could feel the high, feel the hunger, feel the power. I am a protector. I am invincible.

I am Edward's.

I tilted my head to the side, _tsk_ -ing as he tried to raise his arm weakly.

"You bitch. I'm not supposed to kill you, but I think some situations warrant a fucking exception."

"Every girl loves being the exception."

He chuckled again, twisting his wrist, trying to tighten his fingers and failing. He frowned, realizing his lack of control. I must have hit something important.

Oops.

"How do you know who I am? Why are you here?"

He laughed, shaking his head.

"You think I'm gonna tell you anything?"

I shrugged my shoulders, dropping my elbow without warning and blasting another shot in his direction.

 _BANG!_

He slumped to the side, propped up on he doorjamb as he clutched at his knee, gasping and looking up at me with so much hatred that I briefly faltered.

"You shouldn't have a gun, little girl. You don't know what can of worms you just fucking opened."

"Why are you here?"

"I told you, you stupid bitch, I'm not…"

 _BANG!_

He sagged to the ground now, blood flowing freely from his gut as he coughed and moaned. His arms shook, moving without purpose as if he didn't know which wound to cover or couldn't think clearly enough to.

"Do I know you?"

"We've crossed paths." He coughed, blood splattering from his lips with each rattling hack.

"You know Edward?"

"Indirectly."

"Are you after him?"

"Indirectly. Right now, just you."

"How about you stop with the short fucking answers? You know you're going to die here, right? In my hallway. On my gorgeous floors. And my first shot ended up in the drywall behind you, and I'm fucking pissed about it because I love this wall color and I can't for the life of me remember what it fucking was. Do you know how much that sucks? How are we supposed to patch it if we can't mix the color? I told Alice eggshell but I think she went with flat, but I can't remember for sure…" I sighed, shaking my head at him in disappointment and raising the pistol towards his chest.

"Why the fuck does he want you? You're fucking nuts!"

"Who, Edward? Maybe because I'm fabulous in bed. Shit if I know. I'm not about to kick a gift horse in the mouth…"

"No, not Edward…"

 _BANG!_

The bullet lodged in his ribcage and the blood pooled at a fascinating pace on his chest, spreading in the creeping pattern across his white dress shirt that mesmerized me, and then quiet.

My finger slipped, I swear.

And now I could curse myself for shooting him before he finished talking.

Shit!

I couldn't focus on that. Someone else was in my building, maybe more. I ran back to the kitchen, grabbing my phone and shoving it blindly into my purse, swallowing down the feeling of nausea to steel my nerves. Get out. Get Alice and Jasper. Get to Edward.

Run.

I stepped onto the entry door, my footsteps loud and hollow on its metal core. The sound must have alerted Jasper and Alice, who met me in the hallway, almost knocking me down. Jasper caught me by my arm before being pushed to the side by Alice.

 _SMACK!_

Who proceeded to slap me.

"What the fuck, Al?!" I yelled, rubbing my cheek and the sting that radiated across my face. I'd never been hit before. That shit hurt.

"Isabella Marie Swan, don't you ever fucking do something like that again! What would I have done without you?! Why would you do such a thing? Why did Edward leave you with a gun?! This is obviously his fault! Just a gun! I swear! Why did he leave to begin with?! What happened in there? We were scared shitless! I didn't know what happened to you! We thought you were fucking dead!"

She rattled off more questions as I turned to walk down the hallway, ignoring her pleas and demands for answers. I didn't have time for that bullshit. I knew I owed her a better explanation, but leave it to Alice to have a gift for bad as hell timing. I shoved lightly at the first door to my left, the door splintered and buckled under whatever they had used to force ours open. I started to call out, but jumped back at the sight before me. The family that lived next door, so much red…

I can't. God. Oh God. What have I done?

"Bells, what is it? Are they…Jesus?!" Alice stumbled back out into the hall, pressing her hands against the opposite wall before vomiting on the debris-laden floor. Her body was shuddering as Jasper moved to rub soothing circles on her back, shushing her and whispering words of encouragement and promises of safety, of everything 'being okay'.

This didn't look like it was going to be okay.

I turned wordlessly, numbly, faltering as I tried to find my own footing and making my way to the next doorway. These people were innocent. They didn't deserve this. If I didn't live here, if I didn't…whatever the hell I did…they would be okay. This was…who did this? Why did they do this? What did I do to them? If not after Edward…then why?

His answers blurred through my memory again, his gravely voice riddled with the unmistakable rattle of death.

 _"Indirectly."_

 _"Right now, just you."_

 _"Why does he want you?"_

I turned into the next condo's foyer, keeping my eyes trained directly ahead. I couldn't find focus, everything blurring red in my peripheral. Someone responsible was still here. Right downstairs.

Escape was no longer the only goal. Whoever it was…they were going to pay.

"Bells! Wait!"

Alice and Jasper jogged behind me, their hands raising to cover their mouths, gasps and more unshed tears pooling in her eyes.

"Oh Bella…"

I cleared my throat, halting my steps and straightening my back.

"The fire escapes on this side of the building go to the patio and pool instead of the alley and street. I think it's our best bet. Someone's still downstairs, so the options are fucking limited."

Jasper grasped the hand holding the gun warmly, forcing me to look down and see the shaking of my fingers, ice-cold and white from the grip on the handle.

"Deep breaths, Bells. I know what you have in mind. I've got ya."

I laughed humorlessly, the smile not reaching my eyes. "Now you've got my back, Hale?"

"I've always got your back, Bella. That's what friends are for. Just don't go doing anything stupid again, and we'll get on beautifully as always."

"Stupid? It's like you don't even know me." He smiled, giving my hand one last squeeze before wrapping it back around Alice.

"I do know you. That's why I gotta put conditions on anything I ever say to you."

"I'm sorry, okay? I know I have a lot to say to you but, for now…just…I'm sorry. I'm sorry you guys are in this situation."

"Nothin' I can't handle. Just another day at the office."

I moved my head questioningly, my eyes searching his for some answer that felt invaluable. Another missing piece in the strange puzzle that seemed to be multiplying around me. He lowered his gaze, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

"I have a lot to say to you two. For now, I'm just 'sorry'." He threw my words back at me, causing me to smile truly. It was going to be okay. Everything would be okay. We were Al, and Jazz, and Bells.

Everything was cool.

"Let's get down the fire escape. When we get to the bottom, I'm gonna toss you my phone. Get Al a block or so away, stay in the shadows, don't run. Look normal, you know? Then go in a bar or something with a shit ton of people and call Edward. Tell him where you are. Tell him. Promise me, Jazz. Please." I pleaded, begging him to understand what I was saying without actually saying it out loud.

"Bella, I know what you're tryin' to say, and don't fucking do it." I smiled again, understanding in that moment why I always clicked with Jasper, why I was so happy that Alice had him, and why I clicked with Edward. They really were cut from the same cloth.

"Promise me, Jazz. I love him. Promise it. Tell him."

"There's no reason we can't all stay together."

"Do you see what has happened here?! Do you guys fucking see this?! Someone is after me. _ME_. I don't know why, but other people are paying the price for it. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to the people I love. You two are family. I can't have more blood on my hands…I just…I can't…I can't…"

Alice rushed towards me, the two of us wrapping our arms around each other silently, squeezing and sniffling, her pouring every ounce of understanding and strength into me that she possibly could, the way that she always has, before she leaned her forehead against mine.

"You got this, Bells. Let's get down there, and then we'll see you in a little bit."

"You got it, girl."

With one last squeeze, I turned towards the living room window, opening the sill as widely as I could before pushing out the screen. It clanked onto the grates, and I prayed that they sound didn't draw any suspicion. I swung my legs out of the window, landing with a silently rattle onto the escape. I heard Alice and Jasper follow as I tightened my hold on the gun and clasped onto the railing.

We walked carefully and quietly, starting to breathe loudly by the second story and sinking in the cool night air and into the darkness, not knowing the threat that waited at the bottom. The moon shown overhead, covered in the haze of clouds, the stars muddled by the city lights. I reassured myself, repeatedly going over the number of bullets I had left. One, two, three…

"Bella Swan!" I heard a man yell from a few floors above us, the sound reverberating in the back of the building.

My breath caught in my throat as I jerked my hand off the railing as if I had been burned, freezing in my spot, eyes darting around wildly in the darkness. Alice rushed to my side, shaking me slightly and pulling me from the fear that had gripped me.

"Where did that come from?" The voice was mine, but I didn't realize it had tumbled from my lips.

Alice pointed slowly as Jasper narrowed his eyes to the window directly below the one we had climbed out of, just a few floors up. We had at least another seven stories to go. We wouldn't make it. There's no way we would make it. No fucking way. We had failed. This was it.

"I'm not sure if there was only one more guy after all, unless he went upstairs to look for his buddy."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, Alice. If there's more…"

Jasper stepped forward confidently, raising his own gun. "Well, then we deal with it. It'll be alright. Let's keep moving."

I nodded, Alice and I now taking his cues as we continued our quiet descent, heartbeats thundering and feet moving at a desperate pace as we raced against the clock towards the unknown.


	22. Chapter 22

**_Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this._**

 ** _Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox._**

BPOV

We walked on with bated breath, guns drawn and heads held high. Even Alice - who had been teetering back and forth between her usual brave self and a skittish, unsure version that I had never witnessed in her before – now had her eyebrows drawn together in determination and her mouth set in a grim line. There was a war within myself, part of me angry that Edward was yet to arrive while relieved that he was away from the danger and the carnage. And something else...something deeper within me that wondered what was to become of me now, of who I am. We were a pair of contradictions, marching towards an unknown fate with one foot still firmly planted in denial; fight or flight, the ingrained self-perseverance and the deep need to protect the ones we love, hell or high water, through the fire.

I wished Alice and Jasper weren't here in harm's way while I prayed that they stayed close.

My legs ached from the descent, but we were close enough to the alley to hear the crunching of gravel from the busy street around the corner. The seconds that had previously dragged now sped up with increasing fervor. I could feel panic seeping through my veins, causing me to slow with each step. I felt dizzy, feverish, sluggish with each movement. Maybe this had all been a dream? It would make sense since Edward usually came with the fantasy territory. I'd never had a nightmare with him, though. This was new.

I felt a gentle hand on my arm, shaking slightly and calling my name in a series of quick, desperate whispers. I forced my eyes towards the offending hand, following it up and coming face to face with Alice.

"Bella! Bella! What's going on with you? What's wrong? Snap out of it! We have to keep moving. We can't stay here! We're exposed."

I shook my head, trying my damnedest to clear the fog. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, no sound coming out.

Jasper walked up the two steps and stopped in front of me, searching my face for a beat before nodding once and reaching for Alice's hand.

"She's freaking out, Al. But she'll be alright." He made his way back down a few steps before pausing and turning to me. "Bella, you've got to dig fuckin' deep for that adrenaline high you had upstairs. Wait until we're safe before you lose your shit. I need the badass from 20 minutes ago, alright hun? Both of ya'll…mind over matter, alright? That's what's gonna get us to safety."

I nodded, trying to pump myself up again but finding no change in the strange feeling that blanketed me. "I've discovered in the last few days that I work better in the heat of the moment," I mumbled. He and Alice chuckled half-heartedly for a brief moment before we started walking once again.

The last few steps were upon us too quickly, ending the false sense of safety that the hovering metal provided. I wanted this moment, and I dreaded it. We would make it across the property and get lost in the secure shadows of a bustling city street.

Or we wouldn't.

Jasper quickly extended his arm across the step, halting Alice and I behind him. She briefly squeezed my hand before our eyes locked, the unspoken conversation possible between the best of friends flowing between the two of us, just as it always had: Stay close. I love you. I'm scared. Be careful.

"On my mark." He spoke softly, head tilted to the side as he listened for any threats. We all unconsciously leaned forward, as if posed for start of a race. I heard no sound as we all held our breath, my heartbeat thundering in my ears.

It happened so quickly, I thought I had fully fallen into the dream that engulfed me several flights up.

One second, we were paused on the last step, prepared to jump the couple feet onto the pavement. The next, I felt something fly past my left ear, a sharp whizzing sound that brought with it a burst of air that made my hairs stand on end. Jasper jerked against the railing, his hand flying up to his shoulder as he hissed in pain. When he pulled back, his hand shined wet in the moonlight.

"Ow! Shit!"

"Jasper! What the fuck?! Oh my God!" Alice cried out, pushing his hand aside to assess his wound.

"It's just a graze. Trust me, darlin'."

"But…"

He pressed his hand against her mouth to quiet her and froze, the first real look of nervousness that I'd seen on him the whole evening. We could hear running around the building followed by a barrage of gunfire. Whatever was happening around the corner, it wasn't good. And it was growing closer, louder, the weight bearing down on us.

"Now!"

The two of them jumped off together, the metal clanking and groaning with the sudden shift in weight, creaking in protest against the brick exterior. They were almost to the other side of the alleyway when they noticed I wasn't behind them.

"Bella!" Alice yelled, motioning with her arms wildly. Jasper was trying to get her to be quiet, but it was too late. Several bullets flew past me again, hitting the brick above Jasper and Alice's heads on the neighboring building. The crumbling rock and dust rained on them, their heads ducked in futility.

In a panic, I jumped without thinking, landing with a thud on my knees and pain radiating through my bones. I gritted my teeth, wiping my scraped hands against my skirt as I slowly stood, unfolding myself with a shudder as my legs screamed.

That was gonna leave a mark.

I started limping, the gun clutched in my grasp as I willed myself upright and further towards my fate. Another hail of gunfire descended, halting my path towards my friends and forcing me back against the building from which we came. I pressed as close to it as I could, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing like hell that I could simply sink into the sharp stone.

Clattering erupted on the fire escape as the shadows of several figures descended upon me. Thanks to the angle, they wouldn't be able to get a good shot at me where I stood. But once they reached me…no. No. I had to move.

Move, Bella! Damnit! MOVE!

I nodded once to myself and took a few deep breaths to focus. I couldn't reach Alice and Jasper, especially with whoever was coming down the fire escape. I didn't know if there was still someone aiming from the windows, and back up was obviously out of the question.

I was going to have to go around the corner where the gunshots were just minutes before.

I checked my barrel again, a new nervous habit to add to the scores I had acquired over the years. I could do this. I wasn't tapped out of bravery.

At least, I fucking hoped not.

Steeling my nerves, I crouched down and started to make my way towards the corner. I chanced a look at Alice and Jasper, who had vacated their spot and were nowhere to be found. I hope that meant they got away.

But they left me.

They left me.

Okay. That makes sense. I mean…sure. Okay.

It was okay. It was going to be okay.

I was able to defend myself. Right?

I had to fucking get out of here.

I stood suddenly, rushing at full speed around the corner before smacking into something warm and hard. I flew backwards, falling towards the gravel before strong arms wrapped around me like a vice, caging me in before pulling me upright forcefully, jerking my body against a strong chest.

I could feel the breath on my neck as he ran his lips across my jaw and back towards my ear.

"I feel like we've been in this position before, sweetheart."

I could have wept with relief as I looked up at his face, his green eyes dancing with mirth despite the danger surrounding us. We stared at each other, no other words spoken before he pressed his lips to mine. His hands ran up the sides of my body, one settling at my hip while the other tangled in my hair where it belonged. Like a magnet, each inch of me wrapped around him, impossible to find the space between. I was the first to pull away, needing to catch my breath, gulping in air like I couldn't truly breathe until this very moment.

"Isabella." He whispered, running his fingertips softly across my lips before pulling me close again. There was more gunfire at the front of the building, becoming louder as it drew closer. For the first time, I allowed myself a brief reprieve from trying to be strong. With Edward here, I felt like I could finally let go in the comfort of his embrace. My body began to shake with tears, his arms tightening around me as if he automatically knew to be strong when I was weak. A perfect scale, always in balance.

He pulled me quickly across the alley, head twisting in every direction as we ran, gunfire echoing through the night as he turned his body around to fire his own at the shadowy assailant in return. My legs pumped despite their pain before he pulled me into a doorway, the light bulb hanging above our heads broken and swinging in the cool evening breeze as he pressed me into the corner, keeping me close.

"Edward, what the hell is happening? I don't understand why they are after me, why they…"

"Shhh… _mia bella._ Everything is going to be okay. I should have never left you." He pulled back, giving me a crooked grin. "Honestly, Isabella. I was a fool to not keep my most precious possession safe. You should shoot me yourself."

"I'm saving that ace in my back pocket for a rainy day." I smirked back, secretly pleased at the thought of being his and the tension dissipating the longer I could feel his touch. He reached in his waistband, gripping the handle of his gun, his smile replaced with the Don look that I had already witnessed several times in our short relationship.

"Listen to me, love. I've got men surrounding the building, but there's still another four or five guys fucking around in there somewhere. We're going floor to floor, but it's going to take some time that we just don't fucking have."

"There are more guys that followed us down the fire escape. They've got to be most of the way down by now. I think we have maybe eight minutes before they come running around the corner," I said as I motioned towards the direction that I had been running from. Remembering the men shooting towards us caused me to shiver, my fingers gripping Edward's dress shirt like the contact with the smooth material would somehow offer protection.

"I'm not letting you out of my sight again, so there's no way in hell I'm taking you anywhere near the shit that's going down. They can handle this mess. We've got to get to a safe zone where my guys can track me and send backup to grab us, and you know this part of town…what's around here?"

I racked my brain trying to think of a place that was public enough to be safe but wouldn't bring any unwanted attention to someone as well-known as Edward.

"We were originally supposed to meet at a bar a block and a half away. We got separated and then they took off, I don't know if they went there or not. I don't know if they got away at all. Hell…"

I could hear the rattling of the fire escape around the corner, meaning the men descending it were getting close to the bottom. That much-needed adrenaline came rushing through me again. I don't know if it was the threat, or because of Edward, but I knew I couldn't let it go to waste.

"Focus, Isabella. What do you mean they took off?" he growled, a sound so inhuman and dominating that I felt embarrassed by the pleasure it gave me when we were in a life or death situation. My cheeks warmed, and I could see the moment on his face when he realized what was going through my mind. The sexy smirk was back, and he leaned towards me. "Later, my Isabella. First, let's get you out of here. Why did your friends leave you?"

"It happened so fast…Jasper was shot, and when they jumped off the fire escape, I kind of panicked and hesitated. By then, whoever was shooting at us was going non-stop, and I just couldn't cross without being wide-open. They were there, and then they weren't. It's okay, Edward. They had to get away…"

Shouting was coming from the front of the building as he shook his head angrily, leaving the doorway and pulling me further down the alley in the opposite direction before pressing us against another building. After a few seconds of silence, he leads me through the shadows towards the busy thoroughfare, keeping as close to the buildings as possible. When we reached the road, the light from the traffic and businesses so close that it hypnotized me as I watched it creeping towards the toes of my shoes, I felt his finger under my chin, pulling my face up to meet his own.

"We're going to walk slowly towards the bar. Laugh a few times, but not too loudly. Be leisurely and don't make any eye contact."

"Edward, I've got fucking blood splatters all over my legs, my knees are scraped up and my dress is filthy from falling in the alley. And I've kinda got a fucking gun in my hand. Where do you propose I stick it?"

"If memory serves me correct, you're quite inventive when it comes to that."

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to relax me, causing him to chuckle darkly.

"I'd never forget that night, Isabella. For as long as I live. That's the Isabella that you fear, but to me, that's the Isabella you truly are. You were glorious."

"I'm trying really hard to find that backbone, Edward. This is all so new to me. I've got two sides battling it out inside me and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if I lost the person I was. I don't know if there's a place for her now…I don't know where I'm meant to be."

"By my side is where you're meant to be. We all wear different masks, but with me…you never have to hide. Let's get the hell out of here, _mia bella._ I will always keep you safe."

He grabbed my gun and stuck it in the back of his waistband next to his own, covering it with his suit coat before grabbing my hand. With a soft kiss to my knuckles, we emerged from the darkness to blend into the crowd, falling in step with a group of friends chatting loudly about their day, deciding on a restaurant, doing normal things that didn't require guns or secrets or pain.

"Isabella."

"Hmm?" I asked, distracted by the rowdy crowd next to us and turning to look nervously behind us every few steps.

"Tell me everything you know about Jasper."


	23. Chapter 23

**AN** \- Hello everyone! I'm back from a much needed beautiful and sunny vacation. There's so much ground to cover. I've been so busy with work, I need to go back to posting a few of the chapters a week or else this is going to take forever! So let's get this show on the road!

Xx

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 _ **Seriously peeps...mind the ratings. Basically, if you aren't old enough to vote, you shouldn't be reading this.**_

 _ **Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play in her proverbial sandbox.**_

BPOV

Before I broke up with Jake, there had been warning bells that something was wrong with the relationship. They were the kind of little warnings that are scattered so haphazardly through time, woven so deep within snide comments that you weren't sure you heard, rolled eyes that you weren't sure you saw, distancing from friends and each other that you just shrugged off, secrets that you didn't want to address…that they weren't noticeable until the relationship was long over and I was able to step back and assess the winding trail of collateral damage. I knew I didn't belong with Jake. I knew that from day one. But I looked past all those red flashing signs and blaring alarms because I had settled and I was afraid of the unknown.

The threat of loneliness was so great to me that I kept myself in the comfortable discontent just to avoid the alternative. So many secrets. So many from me, a million more from him. Something devious in his secrets, something different than what I was capable of. Each day that went by was like sinking further into quicksand, and by the time Alice had convinced me to face the facts, I had dug a hole so deep that there was no avoiding the pain. Lucky for me, I was the master of avoidance. So I carried on, smile plastered on my face while each day, a small part of me wilted away.

It chipped at the happy exterior and uncovered something dark within.

Leading up to his perfunctory exit, I was outspoken but ultimately harmless. Post-Jacob, the growing sarcasm coupled with depression was a big joke amongst all of us, my quick comments drawing endless laughter as the reasons went unnoticed, keeping my mind occupied and off of the unknown of my future.

But when I was alone with my thoughts, the laughter or drinks or phone calls with my parents or piles of paperwork long since faded, I burrowed deeper into myself. I had so much loneliness, and the loneliness turned to anger, the anger to a barely concealed rage that made me sometimes shake with tears so violently that my skin seemed to vibrate. These were the times where, if I wasn't careful, my mind might start to wander towards the stranger from my dreams. His form would start to take shape behind my lids, and just as his face came into focus, I would will it away into the recesses once more.

He was off-limits. He was unattainable. _He was a dream._

I was smart. I wasn't particularly unattractive, or unfunny, or terrible at conversation. I knew I was a good friend – one of the best. I was a dutiful daughter, I contributed to society in a positive way, I donated lots of money to lots of causes that I was told were important. And I sure as hell was damn good at my job.

So what was I doing wrong?

There were times when Alice would be in the shower, or ran out on a quick errand…where Jasper and I would sit in companionable silence in front of the TV, and I could feel his eyes on me. I'd chuck a throw pillow at him, or toss a handful of popcorn at his head, my forced laughter ringing nervously around the living room. Because I always knew what those moments meant, and as much as I loved Jasper, I always avoided them.

He was too fucking observant for his own good. For my own good.

"Talk to me, Bells."

Every time. Every. Damn. Time. It always started the same. No wonder he was in psychology. Leave it to me to have my own personal shrink.

"You know, Jazz, I haven't a clue what you're asking."

He'd dip his head and narrow his eyes at me as if looking over a pair of imaginary glasses.

Every. Time.

 _'Imaginary'_. Ha.

If he only knew…

"Just one of those days, I guess."

"You seem to be havin' more and more of those lately, darlin'."

I'd sigh. He'd sigh. I'd grunt out some indiscernible response. He'd shake his head.

We were good at this song and dance.

"If this is about Jake, just…"

"DON'T. Please, Jasper. Just don't."

"I'm just sayin', he was wrong for you, alright. Big deal. You didn't waste too much time with him. You need a good man, Bella. You deserve it. You deserve someone to love you like crazy. Alice and I think that if you…"

"Love me till the cows come home? Till my boots shake?" I'd snicker, a poor mimic of his accent.

He'd just shake his head, knowing that my weak attempt at distraction meant he'd again hit my brick wall; the conversation was over.

"Whatever you say, Bells. Whatever you say."

So imagine my surprise and confusion when my Edward was colliding with my real life and asking about my empathetic friend. Gone was the Cullen bubble that protectively separated two parts of a whole. If he was my future, he would need to intertwine with my past and all the people in it. But I had to admit, his timing could be a little better.

"Isabella."

"Hmm?" I asked, distracted by the rowdy crowd next to us, turning to look behind behind us every few steps.

"Tell me everything you know about Jasper."

It was such an innocent question, yet it seemed so out of place. I looked at him skeptically, worry flittering through my mind in a desire to protect my friends.

"He's not going to run off to the police, if that's what you're worried about."

"Nothing of the sort, Isabella. I'd protect nearly anyone you love." He was choosing his words carefully, making me wearier. He squeezed my hand softly as I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

"Why do I sense a 'but' in that statement?"

He sighed loudly, running his free hand through his hair until it rested on the back of his neck, rubbing roughly in his own stress-induced habit before letting it drop to his side. God, he was beautiful. Was there anything that this man could do that would make him any less so?

"I don't trust him."

Oh. I spoke too soon.

"You don't know him."

"Isabella…"

"You don't know him, Edward!"

"I do fucking know him, baby! He shouldn't be here! He was never supposed to be here!"

My back went rigid and I stumbled before resuming our swift pace towards the meeting point.

 _Jasper had said that he knew Edward…_

"What are you talking about?" I whispered, trying to stay calm and bury the fear that was lurking under the surface as the bar came into view. I couldn't deal with the secrets. Never again. There were always so many secrets. Jake had so many secrets…

"I know him. I went to…we went to college with him, remember?"

"Well, sure. I mean, we went to college with tens of thousands of people. Alice and I never knew he existed. Trust me, we've spent countless drunken nights trying to recall instances where we might have been around one another, or lurking in the background of pictures or something. It's just not something that ever happened."

"No, I didn't just _know of_ him, Isabella. He was actually…"

A car horn blared just as we were stepping into the crosswalk, seeming to swerve into us before continuing down the road. The group of revelers surrounding us jumped back onto the curb, every man for himself. But Edward had pushed me protectively behind him, standing tall as if the car itself couldn't possibly move him from my path. It made a warmth spread across my cheeks, knowing this man loved me as much as he did.

So why was I getting so defensive when it came to Jasper? Hasn't Edward had my best interests in mind from the start? Why did I feel like there was something more sinister at play?

"We have to move, _mia bella_. We're wide open out here."

I nodded as he pulled me back to his side, kissing the top of my head gently before wrapping his arm around me and continuing to the sidewalk. The closer we moved towards the bar, the brighter the marquees shown on my blood splattered clothing like a spotlight. I shivered involuntarily, my pulse racing at the prospects of being stopped, followed, questioned, chased…

"This is it?"

Lost in my mind once again, I was slow to respond. Edward bent down slightly, searching my face for something. He was so good at that. He frowned, and was opening his mouth to speak when something smacked into me, causing me to stumble towards the building's stone exterior. My back was shoved against it, my breath leaving me in a _whoosh_.

I was being crushed. There was a loud screeching noise that made me wince. It was official: I was dying.

"Damnit, Bella! You scared the ever loving shit out of us!"

More squeezing. More screeching. Rocking back and forth, then a loud smack.

I rubbed my arm, glaring at my attacker.

"Nice to see you too, Al." I mumbled, causing her to roll her eyes.

"I swear, Bells. For someone so smart, you sure are fucking stupid! What the hell were you doing back there?! What is going on? Does this have to do with Edward?"

"Me?! One minute, you guys are on the other side of the alley. I look up a second later, and you're gone! So thanks a fucking lot for high-tailing it when the going got tough!"

"Now you wait just a minute Isabella Marie Swan! You know damn well that I was about 4 inches away from getting an extra hole in my head that didn't belong!"

"I'll show you a hole in your head…"

She grabbed me by my arms and pulled me in for a hug, rocking us back and forth in a soothing manner once again. I smiled, resting my chin on her shoulder as a single tear made a slow path traitorously down my cheek.

She was right, of course. I remember the crumbling brick sending dust over Alice and Jasper with each ping of a missed shot. Maybe my anger was simply fear, or my inability to properly channel my feelings of relief. Whatever it was, I wasn't ready to let go of it yet. I was scared as hell – I needed that anger. I'd have a breakdown and then retreat into myself without it. It was inevitable, only a matter of time…but I wasn't ready. Not yet.

Alice reached out for Edward, whose face morphed into a puzzled look before she took hold of his hand and yanked him into our hug. Our eyes met as if we were thinking the same thing. A post shoot-out group hug. That's a thing, right? Totally normal. The two of us started laughing as he stood awkwardly, engulfed by two giggling, teary-eyed women. He started to pat the top of her head, making us laugh even harder.

"I love you, Bells."

The loud group of partiers that we had attempted to blend in with took that moment to shuffle past us and into the bar, causing us to break apart to let them through. The moment of innocence was lost, the few precious minutes where I felt like we were just a few friends out having a great time. The reality, however, was suffocating in its weight.

"Love you too, Al. I guess we're going to have a lot to talk about at work tomorrow. And...um...Jesus! Where are we going to live?! Shit. Let's uh...let's not do that again, hmm?"

She smiled, nodding enthusiastically as she looped her arm through mine. I couldn't help but grin at the familiar action. I reveled in it.

"Well, ladies. If we could please head into a…safer area, I'd appreciate it. We'll discuss living arrangements and any other important details about this...interesting evening. I'm sending a message to my men now. Let's head to one of the back corners of the bar. I need to have a good view of the exits."

We nodded to Edward as he wrapped an arm around each of our shoulders, affectionate but with purpose like most things he did. His casual movement was in fact a smooth and well-timed ruse. I saw him take that opportunity to glance behind him and down each side of the boulevard, face hardened and eyes trained towards any threat.

We began walking into the bar, an exiting patron polite enough to hold the door open for a few others entering, when we heard a commotion coming from inside. In a rush of motion and shattering beer bottles in the doorway, a blur of grey and black burst through the doorway, rushing full-force towards us so shockingly that it felt like I was seeing the actions before me in slow motion. An arm swung towards us, fist colliding on Edward's jaw, momentarily causing him to drop his hold on Alice and myself and stagger back minutely before he dove towards the assailant.

"What the hell is going on?! Stop this!"

I heard the yelling, but I didn't understand what was happening, my eyes fixed on the tangle of limbs rolling around the sidewalk.

"Tell him to stop, Bella! Give me a chance to get a hold on Jasper!"

Jasper?

My eyes focused on the fight, relieved that Edward seemed to be perfectly fine, possibly even holding back, before noticing the look of pure hate that burned on Jasper's face, his fist swinging wildly towards Edward once again. Alice grabbed the back of his collar, yanking him backwards until he was forced onto his two feet. He swayed before shaking his head to collect himself, then spit a mouthful of blood and saliva onto the pavement, some of it's wayward splatters landing inches from my own bloodied shoes.

Edward stood gracefully, dusting off his pants and coat before rolling his shoulders akin to a boxer preparing to strike in a caged match. He attempted to smooth his wild bronze hair and I took the opportunity to inspect him for any signs of damage. He had a slight redness on his jaw where Jasper landed his first punch, but his eyes danced with mirth. He almost looked like he was enjoying himself.

"Great to see you again, Hale. You look well."

Jasper sneered, inching towards Edward before being yanked back by Alice.

"You ruined my life! I shoulda killed you years ago, you son of a bitch!"


End file.
